Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I used to be fat so I have lower standards than other guys as hot
I get the best parking, sit in the closest seats, wait in the
shortest lines, and poop in the biggest stalls. Also, there's
always a chair handy when the urge to give a lap dance
I suppose I'm the intellectual sarcastic type who enjoys meeting
all kinds of people and hearing everyone's story.
I have no agenda, I'm really just here to meet new people. Life is
much more enjoyable when you keep things simple.
I love dogs.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
My degree is in visual communications, and have always worked for
myself from home. I mostly do dot com internet stuff. Yeah... I'm
one of those guys. Probably my most successful venture so far is
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Collecting movies, training dogs, cable management, finding the
humor and making the best of everything.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes (and by "eyes" I actually mean my boobs). Then probably my
really sexy eyebrows, hair, and disarming personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Movies: I love too many to list. Back to the Future, Memento,
Dancer in the Dark, Another Earth, and Melancholia are definitely
some good ones that come to mind.
I love stories that expose the human condition and make you think.
I get bored with predictable happy endings.
If Rifftrax means anything to you, we should definitely be
TV: Orange is the New Black / DareDevil / House of Cards / Battle
Bots / Better Call Saul / The Leftovers / Halt and Catch Fire / The
Knick / Banshee / Breaking Bad / Mad Men / Game of Thrones /
Homeland / Walking Dead / Misfits / Battlestar Galactica / The
first few seasons of Dexter / Louie / Parks and Rec / Community /
anything Ricky Gervais / et cetera...
I stay away from almost all forms of "reality" TV. I have better
things to do with my time, like take out the trash or nap.
Books: The Little Engine that Could
Music: I won't voluntarily turn on country, but I find things to
enjoy in all genres. Electronica (house, drum and bass, glitch) and
polka music are my current favorites.
Food: Bread, sauce, cheese. Sandwiches, pizza, Cesar salad and
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My dog, Waffle
One-sided awkward silences
Bass (Not the fish. As in the opposite of treble. The instrument is
pretty cool too.)
Dark carbonated beverages. I know, they're unhealthy but I just
love a Vanilla Coke or Dr. Pepper. I'd rather die young with a Coke
in my hand than live to be 100 with dementia.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I believe a huge driving force in life is the common misconception
that we all think we are better than everyone around us. This is
amusing to me.
The Baader-Meinhof effect.
Why is everyone on this site "down to earth?". I'm not even sure
what that means.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
My idea of the perfect date is something like a regular date but
instead we sit down and clarify the differences and correct usage
of "your" and "you're" and then we call it a night.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
It's not really private but I obviously use a wheelchair. I'm not
paralyzed, am able to drive and I'm completely independent.
Everything works. Don't hesitate to ask!
If that's a deal breaker, then I'm sorry for wasting your
(I lied I'm not really sorry.)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have a pulse*.
I tend to keep small talk to a minimum and cut right to the chase
on just about any topic. If that sounds good to you, then let's do
* Pulse is not mandatory.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.