So anyway I am not desperate. I am just frustrated and fed up and I
don't know what else to do. I am out of options. Lately I found an
advertisement in a newspaper. Some British Company based in Tunis
looking for English Speakers with talents and I guess they are some
kind of a sales business, anyway they are based in Lac 2 or
something like that, some fancy place I guess. So the guy I talked
to on the phone was an English dude, I suppose. He sent me an email
and asked me to come to a meeting for a job interview. I told him I
lived far away from Tunis and that I prefer that we would talk on
Skype first. That way he would get to hear me and listen to my
experience and I would know more about the job. He refused and so
nothing came out of it. I will not spend over 15 dinars for a trip
to Tunis; endure the agony of being in a louage with strangers and
with a smoking reckless driver in a clumsy seat and suffering from
the unbearable heat for over 4 hours, then find myself in a city
that looks like a whole different world to me, struggle to find a
taxi or a way to get to the address he gave me, sit there and get
interviewed, then get myself back to my hometown losing some other
4 hours and more money along the way. Whilst we could do the same
thing on Skype.
It doesn’t make sense to me. And if this interviewer can’t see my
logic than I guess that job wasn’t meant to be. So I do have a job
though. A one that sucks. Big time. Actually I just have a dream.
And it has nothing to do with MLK. It is a whole different dream.
It is a dream deeply rooted in my sexual fantasies. I have a dream.
That one day I will be able to meet one girl who looks like them
girls on those pictures. Yes you might call me superficial, stupid
or even disturbed. But I am convinced that my motives do not lack
any sense of purity or honesty. Women like those on the pictures do
not only fascinate me, they inspire me and they motivate me. I have
this dream, that one day, I will meet my Linda and be her man and
that she would be my woman. Yes, I have a dream. That one day, I
will find her. I will not care less if my fellow Tunisian citizens
think badly of her. I will not care if they call her a ***** or a
prostitute. It doesn’t matter to me if she already slept with a
thousand men before me.
Now, you all know that the chances of me meeting a girl like that
are pretty dim. I do not have access to that kind of entourage. My
environment is different from hers. And she is impossible to be met
or found in my city. Well, she probably could spend a short
vacation in a luxurious hotel in a Tunisian city but even if she
did, I wouldn’t know.
Oh I remember this song now :
This song is amazing and I sometimes exactly feel like that.
I feel tired right now. Getting late. I have to wake up early
tomorrow and deal with same monotonous situations. I wish I could
take some sleeping pills. Why can I not sleep? Because there is no
satisfaction. Because there is an awareness of missed chances and
lost opportunities. Regret, frustration, despair, agony, anguish,
irritation, stress and sadness are ceaselessly beating me up with
all their might and sleep doesn’t dare to come and help me.
I went to the gym today. I had a very unpleasant situation there. I
just did a few chin ups and pushups and some bar exercises. And
there was this guy who I never liked. He always looks at me in a
peculiar way. He is kind of short and his face is full of “what are
they called?” Acne or something.. Very ugly stuff. Anyway I could
tell that he disliked me because we had a big argument one time and
we nearly got in a fight. So his friend who happens to be the
responsible there was eying me too. So I felt really uncomfortable
and decided to leave after only about 5 minutes there. As I was
leaving the responsible of the gym approached me and told me that I
have to move the iron bar that I used back to its place where I
first found it. This was a straight provocation. The bar wasn’t
annoying anyone where I left it. It was on the ground. He said I
have to put it on the ground but closer to the wall. I looked at
his face. I could see a mix of hate, boredom and ignorance in his
eyes. So I just did what he asked me to do. The other acne dude was
looking at me and enjoying the moment, I guess. I put the damn bar
where he said it should be and then I smiled, said goodbye and
About the dream: here is the sequel: I know that looks aren’t
everything. However I do believe that looks are a reflection of the
inside of a person. And they also indicate the lifestyle and the
convictions and beliefs that a person has. When I see women like
that, I can’t even consider being with other kinds of women. Maybe
that’s why I am 28 and desperately single. I heard there is a
member here from Sweden. Well if you or any other member know a
girl who looks like that and who is single and who would be up for
an adventure, you might want to tell her that there is a ragazzo
out there in Tunisia , he is 28, he is fairly good looking, can be
witty and amusing, has a tremendous sexual appetite, lol or
shouldn’t I mention that? That could be a turn off, right? Hook me
up! I know. Silly, isn’t it? To even think this stuff might work.
But just in case, tell her to give her skype or facebook. Tell her
that I can’t wait to talk to her.
Thus, after having made a fool out of myself again, I think I might
better go to bed.
And for all you guys who want to start making quotes and having
laughs on my account, please refrain from doing so because it is
not cool to take things out of context or to judge me when you do
not know the whole story. I am fully aware that I was not thorough
and consistent in the description of my dream and motives and the
meaning of the pictures and where I got them from.
I will do the explanation in the future. Sadly I lost a recording
that I did just to explain the whole thing. But I will try to do it
again later. Or maybe write about it. So anyways. I am not here to
make enemies. Why did you delete my latest post? Inappropriate
content? Come on! We are all grownups, aren’t we? And are you guys
serious? You never swear? You never talk graphically about sex? You
never watch porn? Really?
Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn… Something is wrong with
me then! :)