So I was just sitting there on the beach staring at the sea getting lost in my thoughts. I was thinking about how useless life can be and how terrible it is not to have any place to go and I was wondering what I would do if it wasn’t summer and I couldn’t come here. Because if it wasn’t summer, I couldn’t go and sit on the beach. If people in my city would see me sitting on the beach in winter they would automatically consider me nuts. They rather stay in coffee-shops. Well.
If you live in my city and you go through any coffee-shop, at any time, just look to the people sitting there. I bet you at least one is looking at you with such hateful eyes, you would freak out.
If you are a woman and go past a coffee-shop, consider yourself the object of a longwinded gossip; that is if you don’t get harassed.
So I was just sitting there looking at the sea, just chilling. You know? That’s what losers do, right? Chill. Or maybe like that’s what inmates of a penitentiary do. Chill. Just be thankful that you are still alive. After all the trouble you had to go through. That’s what chilling means to me. Being aware that u somehow managed to survive and that you are still breathing. That awareness, that feeling of conscience; that’s what encapsulates the meaning of chilling in my view.
It was Ramadan. I was too weak and hungry to undertake any literary endeavors. I just wanted to chill. I was waiting for the sun to go down so to speak. I was killing time. Wasting time. I had nothing to do. Because I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t stay at home because my mom was there. I didn’t have anywhere to go. My rich friends are snobby and they look down on me because I don’t have an iphone and I don’t wear a lacoste shirt. My poor friends are absolute thugs and hanging out with them is not an option for me. I am actually skinny. I never liked violence and when I was a kid I used to get beat up in my neighborhood by many bullies and wannabe gangsters. It was really wild. It still is. The thing is that now I do know what to do if someone threatens me. I would go to the cops. I didn’t know that when I was a kid. Nobody told me about them or it never occurred to me. Wow, when I remember the incredible fist fights I have witnessed in my neighborhood. I just want to give a shot out to a friend of mine who was an absolutely incredible fighter. He fled to Italy during the revolution days and didn’t come back since. But I had a great admiration for him. He would beat up guys ten times his size and he was like Bruce Lee or something. He is really strong, quick and a real Martial Artist.
He got involved with Drugs though. I remember another friend who was stabbed to death and who died while running to the hospital. He was dark skinned and he used to play his music loudly in the neighborhood and he made me like the music. It was in English. Nana was the group that he played the most. They have a song that goes: I am lonely, lonely, lonelyyyyyyy. I am lonely lonely in my heart lalalala.. He was very nice to me. He used to let me in his studio and show me his cassette player and his music collection and I would look at all that with admiration. I heard the reason of that fatal fight is that someone was spreading rumors that his sister might have slept with someone. Yeah. And you guys don’t want me to talk about sex?
Sex is the issue. Sex is the whole deal. Everything is connected to Sex. It all comes down to Sex after all. I mean just hear me out. Don’t judge. Just try to understand. It’s how you react to Sex that defines what kind of person you are. I am not here to offend anyone. I am here to tell a story and to tell my opinion about it. You know the song of Bon Jovi ? It’s my liiiiiiiiiiiiiife, It’s now or never…. I won’t live forever… wow Amen to that.
Well I was on the beach right? Someone says hi to me, I look at his direction and I recognize him. His father is famous because he is rich and owns a lot of property in our city. And he and I, we barely know each other. We maybe talked 2 or 3 times before that day. My dad sold him some stuff a few months ago and that’s how I got to know him. He has a car and everything. His dad built a nice house for him. In Tunisian Standards, one might say that he is set. Well he told me to come and sit with him. I went there because I thought it would be rude if I said no. And we started a conversation. I don’t understand how most Tunisians converse even though I am one of them. Like most of the people I have talked with and who try to engage in a so called conversation have a peculiar way, I think, of approaching it. They would say: I remember this time when this and that happened. The other person would also say : “ I remember the other time when a similar thing happened”
And everyone would be remembering, with no conclusions, just remembrances, is that small talk?
Snippets of Tunisian Conversations:
Look at that man! His car window is broken since 2 years and he didn’t fix it yet! What’s wrong with him? He works just fine and he hasn’t money to fix his damn car window? Greedy bastard!
Now the classic one: Do you see how that girl is dressed? You see those tight jeans? You see those high heels? How she walks? You see that? Look at that. What a b…!
And people would be exchanging insults and vulgar terrible verbal attacks.
Well the rich guy told me that he remembered what happened last night. And he started telling me how he had sex with a married woman. In Ramadan! I was stunned. I never had the courage of having Sex in Ramadan. I never had the courage to do that. Yet this man does it. I underestimated this dude, I thought. He has a lot more courage in him than me. But a married woman? In our town? I couldn’t believe it.
I promise you. That’s what happened. I did 4 times straight to her. She said she enjoyed it. I showed her many positions. She told me that her man did to her only missionary.
Did you Doggy Style to her?
No. But I can do that another time. I don’t want to show her all the tricks at once. She told me that she never had such sexual pleasure before. You see? She is not a b…, you know? She cheats on her husband just with me. She used to be my friend before she married and we are still friends. She called me. She knew her husband was out and she has kids.
Yes. And her man is not good to her. He beats her up all the time and he gets drunk a lot.
So you did it to her?
Yeah, it was so nice. I wish I can go to her tonight too.
You don’t care about Ramadan?
Well, I guess I have reserved a place in Hell.
Well maybe we will meet there.
And we talked and we talked. He was basically sharing his excitement and kind of showing off. Yeah he was definitely bragging.
I thought well , u know? Rich people!