Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
In the spirit of fun, I have written a list. I don't expect you to
jive with them all. One or two would be nice, though.
1. You'd know what to respond if I shouted "D'yu know what time it
2. You think building a house together in Minecraft sounds
plesantly romantic. I love that the beds can be placed in adjacent
3. You know some of these names: Rob Brydon, Donald Glover,
Victoria Coren, Aubrey Plaza, James Hetfield, Dexter Holland, Todd
Howard, Dave Myers, Toby Turner, Taylor Davis, Christopher
Hitchens, Amy Hennig, Sasha Grey, Tyler Hoechlin, Edmund McMillen,
Nana Kitade, Nolan North, David Hayter, Brian Cox, Terry Cavanagh,
Lexi Belle, Hank Green.
4. You've authored an internet meme.
5. You are prepared, if you live somewhere nearby, for me inviting
you for coffee or a wander about or something within five
6. You think the world is ridiculous and broken and want to help me
7. You noticed I spelled 'pleasantly' wrong in (2), and are
relieved that it was intentional.
8. This one used to be a thing about Ingress, the Android game, but
I've stopped playing. I can't currently think of anything new to
insert here and reordering would mess up my (11). Just like be tall
or something idk
9. You've travelled a good deal. Or, like, lived abroad. That'd be
10. You tut when you see an imperial measurement.
11. You are slightly annoyed that I have (11) here, because it is
useless, and I could have stopped at (10) - a much neater number.
Still, you appreciate the defiance of it.