Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
3/2015 - just moved to Camarillo. Some of the info in the profile
is out of date but all the important stuff is still true.
Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.
Not really, but hello all the same. I'm Bob. I'm 38, male, single,
and live in Santa Barbara. But you already knew that if you just
read the heading of this thing. Personality wise, I guess I'd say
that I'm a very laid back and open minded person. I strive for a
drama free life. I also think I'm friggin hilarious. Seriously. I
love laughing, but not in the way you think. When I say "I love to
laugh" I don't mean, "I'm a super happy person and totally well
adjusted, no baggage here to deal with nosiree Bob." No that's not
what I mean at all. What I mean is I'm surrounded by idiots and I
like making fun of them. Some would say that I have a dry and
sarcastic sense of humor. But others might say that I'm just an
a-hole. I'll leave it up to you to decide. Most of it stems from
having what I think is actually healthy sense of cynicism which no
matter what people say is actually vital to a functioning
democracy. You don't have to be completely cynical to get along
with me, but you do need to at least possess the ability to think
critically. Otherwise, the jokes will fly right over your
What else....I came to SB by way of Texas, Chicago and Tucson. I
got my doctorate at UCSB and improbably found a decent gig doing
research in SB. What can I say, I really like the weather out
Anyways, I'm looking for new friends and quality people to spend my
time with. Ideally, I'd find someone who I have chemistry with and
that develops into a relationship. But we'll cross that bridge when
we get there. In the mean time, you really ought to get to know me.
I'm a barrel of monkeys to be around and if nothing else, you'll
get some free meals out of it. Quite frankly, I think it's quite
amazing that no one has snapped me up yet, so the fact that I'm
available, well that's just your dumb good luck, so you really
ought to take advantage while you can. :D. Seriously, I have a PhD,
I have a stable job, I'm a feminist, and I am not married. That
makes me better than 95% of the guys you've gone out with. What are
you waiting for?
INFP if you're into that kinda stuff.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In the literal sense, probably quietly judging people while working
In the figurative sense, probably the same thing you are. Working,
trying to save up some cash to pay student loans/travel/buy a
house, trying to make myself a better person, daydreaming about
ditching all of this to buy a food truck and sell egg rolls.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not being sarcastic. Get it?
I'm also a pretty good cook, handy with computers, good at math,
and theoretically I'm also an expert at discussing the
socio-economic and cultural significance of popular culture
<-That's what I got my PhD in.
I'm also preternaturally good at pinball.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I guess I smile a lot. Sure it might be a defense mechanism to hide
my contempt for people, but if you had a million dollar smile like
mine wouldn't you smile a lot too?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: anything that is readable. I think F. Scott Fitzgerald
writes so beautifully that I don't ever want to attempt to write
anything ever again. I find Douglas Coupland books quite enjoyable
as well. But the last book I finished was the The 100 Year Old Man
who Jumped Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson
(12/2/14) - Meh.
Movies: in June of 2003 I elevated The Royal Tennenbaums to the
position of my single favorite movie of all time, overtaking the
Godfather. The last movie I saw in the theater was Birdman
(12/2/14). It's a crazy movie but very good - I think this one will
be up for awards this winter.
TV Shows: Here are the shows that I am currently working through on
Netflix/Amazon/Hulu - Eastbound and Down and Brooklyn Nine Nine
(12/2/14). Hmm, seems like I'm taking a break from prestige
Music: I find this one the most difficult to answer because I
consume large amounts of music and any answer less than 1000 words
would be unsatisfying to me. Like seriously, I regularly spend 2+
hours just listening to music and not doing anything else (well
maybe drinking). Right now (12/2/14), I'm listening to the Benjamin
Booker album a whole lot.
Food: I'll eat pretty much anything. If I had to pick one, I guess
I'll go with smoked brisket and/or pho with rare beef tendon - none
of that sissy chicken crap that you gringos eat.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
2. Critical thinking skills
3. Vitamins A-C and E (seriously, vitamin D can suck it)
4. The ability to think abstractly
5. Various vital organs (again, suck it appendix)
6. Plain M&Ms
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Popular culture...I think we already covered this. If you are going
to hang out with me, you're going have to be able to endure
constant cultural analysis of all popular culture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I like going out and stuff, but the bars in Santa Beezy generally
suck. Plus I'm old and it's kinda pathetic to go to bars to get
drunk and hook up with randoms at my age. But still, I'll go out
and do stuff but I prefer active stuff like movies, concerts, or
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I use body wash and a poofy thing in the shower
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're laid back, open minded, and enjoy good conversation.
You like cooking, eating, and trying new restaurants.
You liking talking about pop culture.
You want to know anything about 1) the incoming freshman and
transfer classes at UCSB or 2) The connection between our cultural
tastes and our identities within a class system.
some archetypes to guide you:
daria morgandorfer - smartasses and extra bonus points if you know
who this is
chicks with guitars - coffee shop songstresses to the front of the
grad students - after spending way too many years in grad school, i
speak your language all too well
artists - i consider myself an aspiring artist that lacks any real
supermodels - well obviously
tina fey - funny women are super hot
mindy kaling - see above
hipsters - we generally at least like the same music but ask me
about my love/hate relationship with hipster culture, but be
forewarned, I think many of you are racist.
juno (minus the pregnant part) - see daria morgandorfer
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