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39 Camarillo, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–42
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Online now!
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body type
A little extra
Strictly anything
Catholicism, and laughing about it
Graduated from Ph.D program
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
3/2015 - just moved to Camarillo. Some of the info in the profile is out of date but all the important stuff is still true.

Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.

Not really, but hello all the same. I'm Bob. I'm 38, male, single, and live in Santa Barbara. But you already knew that if you just read the heading of this thing. Personality wise, I guess I'd say that I'm a very laid back and open minded person. I strive for a drama free life. I also think I'm friggin hilarious. Seriously. I love laughing, but not in the way you think. When I say "I love to laugh" I don't mean, "I'm a super happy person and totally well adjusted, no baggage here to deal with nosiree Bob." No that's not what I mean at all. What I mean is I'm surrounded by idiots and I like making fun of them. Some would say that I have a dry and sarcastic sense of humor. But others might say that I'm just an a-hole. I'll leave it up to you to decide. Most of it stems from having what I think is actually healthy sense of cynicism which no matter what people say is actually vital to a functioning democracy. You don't have to be completely cynical to get along with me, but you do need to at least possess the ability to think critically. Otherwise, the jokes will fly right over your head.

What else....I came to SB by way of Texas, Chicago and Tucson. I got my doctorate at UCSB and improbably found a decent gig doing research in SB. What can I say, I really like the weather out here.

Anyways, I'm looking for new friends and quality people to spend my time with. Ideally, I'd find someone who I have chemistry with and that develops into a relationship. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there. In the mean time, you really ought to get to know me. I'm a barrel of monkeys to be around and if nothing else, you'll get some free meals out of it. Quite frankly, I think it's quite amazing that no one has snapped me up yet, so the fact that I'm available, well that's just your dumb good luck, so you really ought to take advantage while you can. :D. Seriously, I have a PhD, I have a stable job, I'm a feminist, and I am not married. That makes me better than 95% of the guys you've gone out with. What are you waiting for?

INFP if you're into that kinda stuff.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
In the literal sense, probably quietly judging people while working at UCSB.

In the figurative sense, probably the same thing you are. Working, trying to save up some cash to pay student loans/travel/buy a house, trying to make myself a better person, daydreaming about ditching all of this to buy a food truck and sell egg rolls.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Not being sarcastic. Get it?

I'm also a pretty good cook, handy with computers, good at math, and theoretically I'm also an expert at discussing the socio-economic and cultural significance of popular culture <-That's what I got my PhD in.

I'm also preternaturally good at pinball.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I guess I smile a lot. Sure it might be a defense mechanism to hide my contempt for people, but if you had a million dollar smile like mine wouldn't you smile a lot too?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: anything that is readable. I think F. Scott Fitzgerald writes so beautifully that I don't ever want to attempt to write anything ever again. I find Douglas Coupland books quite enjoyable as well. But the last book I finished was the The 100 Year Old Man who Jumped Out the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson (12/2/14) - Meh.

Movies: in June of 2003 I elevated The Royal Tennenbaums to the position of my single favorite movie of all time, overtaking the Godfather. The last movie I saw in the theater was Birdman (12/2/14). It's a crazy movie but very good - I think this one will be up for awards this winter.

TV Shows: Here are the shows that I am currently working through on Netflix/Amazon/Hulu - Eastbound and Down and Brooklyn Nine Nine (12/2/14). Hmm, seems like I'm taking a break from prestige TV.

Music: I find this one the most difficult to answer because I consume large amounts of music and any answer less than 1000 words would be unsatisfying to me. Like seriously, I regularly spend 2+ hours just listening to music and not doing anything else (well maybe drinking). Right now (12/2/14), I'm listening to the Benjamin Booker album a whole lot.

Food: I'll eat pretty much anything. If I had to pick one, I guess I'll go with smoked brisket and/or pho with rare beef tendon - none of that sissy chicken crap that you gringos eat.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Oxygen
2. Critical thinking skills
3. Vitamins A-C and E (seriously, vitamin D can suck it)
4. The ability to think abstractly
5. Various vital organs (again, suck it appendix)
6. Plain M&Ms
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Popular culture...I think we already covered this. If you are going to hang out with me, you're going have to be able to endure constant cultural analysis of all popular culture.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I like going out and stuff, but the bars in Santa Beezy generally suck. Plus I'm old and it's kinda pathetic to go to bars to get drunk and hook up with randoms at my age. But still, I'll go out and do stuff but I prefer active stuff like movies, concerts, or bowling.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I use body wash and a poofy thing in the shower
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're laid back, open minded, and enjoy good conversation.
You like cooking, eating, and trying new restaurants.
You liking talking about pop culture.
You want to know anything about 1) the incoming freshman and transfer classes at UCSB or 2) The connection between our cultural tastes and our identities within a class system.

some archetypes to guide you:
daria morgandorfer - smartasses and extra bonus points if you know who this is
chicks with guitars - coffee shop songstresses to the front of the line
grad students - after spending way too many years in grad school, i speak your language all too well
artists - i consider myself an aspiring artist that lacks any real talent
supermodels - well obviously
tina fey - funny women are super hot
mindy kaling - see above
hipsters - we generally at least like the same music but ask me about my love/hate relationship with hipster culture, but be forewarned, I think many of you are racist.
juno (minus the pregnant part) - see daria morgandorfer