Then you've clicked on the wrong profile.
Wine and dine me. You're paying.
Doors? ****ing out. We run across one, I will either remove it from its hinges or shatter it with a chair. I anticipate increased electricity costs due to an open-air house.
At our wedding, we will both wear costumes based on our favorite breakfast pastries. At the conclusion of our ceremony, I will eat you in front of our guests.
I can't promise that these will be my only conditions, I can't even promise that you'll make it out of our first date alive. But I can promise that if you don't, you won't care what happens afterwards.
And in the end, isn't that all that matters?