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Twisty_McFisty

37 M Brooklyn, NY

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–41
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 5:26am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
Native American, White
Height
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
Trying to quit
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Sagittarius
Education
Working on space camp
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Sorry if my profile is too long. I'm putting it all out there this time around. I'm living in Bushwick with my pug Junior. I am a real estate agent by day and DJ here and there in my spare time. I am originally from Southeastern CT specifically a town called East Lyme. Yes, it's where Lyme Disease is from. I managed to escape without it. I have been in NYC for almost 12 years except for a 8 month stint in Miami but that was a blur.

*Holy Shit. It's crazy how many of you girls have the word wanderlust in your profile name.
*I love photo booths
*I am left handed but do not point out other lefties every time I see one.
*Yeah, yeah, yeah I know, you're brutally honest and/or loyal to a fault(yawn)
*I've never played the game Monopoly
*I'm pretty sure most people work hard and play hard
*PLEASE contact me if you're my 100% enemy. I'd like to challenge you to a fight to the death cage match
*Would you think I was tres sensitive if I posted some pictures of myself helping some indigenous children of some far off land?
*Sunglasses at night: Love the song. Hate the d bags who do it.
*I like Petrichor=The distinctive scent which accompanies the first rain after a long warm dry spell. Not so much in NYC though. It mostly smells like bum sex and dog pee after it rains here.
*The next time I see hear/see someone clipping their nails on the subway I am going to lose my mind and probably get charged with assault that day. #1 pet peeve of mine.
*I'm sooo bored of zombie apocalypse talk
*Hey Cali girls! I get it! Your Mexican food is better!
*Words/phrases I despise: Y.O.L.O., guesstimate, epic, going with the flow, swag, partners in crime, LOL, nom nom nom, EDM, chillaxin, I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE SAY BARNES AND NOBLES. I think is so bizarre when an American calls their apartment a flat or their roommate a flatmate. I don't get it. Oh, and those are usually the people who say cheers when they're not at a bar. Also weird to me.

My new favorite word....vagary
va·gar·y
Noun
An unexpected and inexplicable change in a situation or in someone's behavior: "the vagaries of the weather".
I have to admit I thought it meant something else when I first heard it but when I looked it up I like the real definition

This makes my day......http://youtu.be/kS709ZyZ_YU
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Selling real estate in Brooklyn and planning on doing some much overdo traveling real soon.

*Weird fact: About twelve years ago when I first moved down to NYC while riding the Subway I was thinking of the song Everybody Hurts by REM and started making up captions for all my fellow subway riders. It's mostly funny and sometimes sad. I still do it to this day. I can't help it. This damn song has been stuck in my head off an on for twelve years.
http://youtu.be/pudOFG5X6uA

I spend most of my time looking for pug related things on the internet. Yeah, I know I'm cool. #6 is my fave
http://www.buzzfeed.com/freddiecampion/10-pugs-who-look-like-things-5vii

I'm starting a company that rents out tigers and little brown children for ok cupid profiles. 10% discount if you give me 5 stars.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I'm a really good cook. Let me cook for you!

Losing monthly metrocards within 48 hours of buying them
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eyes? I don't know...actually people usually want to know what race I am. I usually make up something new every time.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Honestly, I don't read many books that aren't real estate related but after reading all of your profiles I guess I should pick up some Vonnegut, Murakami and Sedaris(although I have read a few of Sedaris' books). 9 out of 10 of you have at least one of these authors on their list.
*Update: So, I went to Thriftbooks.com and copped some Sedaris and Vonnegut. I don't think I'm ready for Murakami yet. Spent $22.70 and got 6 books; Me Talk pretty One Day, Naked, Slapstick, Barrel Fever, Galapagos and Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk.

The Outsiders, Trading Places, Better Off Dead, Coming to America, The Silence of the Lambs, The Lost Boys, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Flatliners, Goodfellas, A Bronx Tale, Lucas, The Breakfast Club, Big Fish, American Psycho, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Stand by Me, Drugstore Cowboy, Fight Club, Election, Heathers, Ghostbusters, Groundhog Day

Louie, Tosh.O, Workaholics, Law and Order SVU, It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, Shark Week, The Wonder Years, Orange is the newBlack

I like way too many artists to list but I will list off the last bunch of artists played on my itunes for ya.......Echo & The Bunnymen, Nas, Yelle, Gang Starr, Ann Peebles, Passion Pit, James Brown, Shuggie Otis, M83....That was just a random shuffle, I'm really into funk, disco, soul, house, right now but grew up on 80's/90's hip hop and pop mixed with classic rock, did the hippie jam band Dead/Phish thing, then went through a house/techno/Drum and Bass phase that I never really grew out of but I definitely get bored listening to any one kind of music for prolonged periods of time. So, I keep my Ipod on shuffle. I'm not exactly a music nerd though. I have a nice collection of tunes that I am constantly adding to but I'm not a pretentious dick who will make you feel bad if you haven't heard something I'm into. I like sharing music and listening to stuff I haven't heard before. Oh, and I love yacht rock.

Most seafood(raw and cooked), fried chicken, chicken pot pie, grilled cheese sammies, BLTs, sandwiches! eggs, fish tacos, asian, mexican, mac and cheese, wings, breakfast for dinner, nachos, calamari, burgers, pretty much anything off the grill, good pizza, pho. I love making a sandwich out of all of the left overs from Thanksgiving dinner on a big crusty roll, My new obsession is making ice cream. My ice cream maker is my favorite toy these days.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
(1)My pup
(2)Living near an ocean, swimming in it and eating all of its tasty creatures
(3)lip balm
(4)Google
(5)GPS
(6)Bicycle

Honorable mention:
roomba robot vacuum...RIP
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I haven't really travelled much so I've been thinking about where I really want to go.....I could use some suggestions
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Avoiding the amateurs like the plague

Typical=Boring, duh?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to dress Miami Vice style when I was in 5th grade. Pastels, no socks, slip on dress shoes, linen sports coats, etc. Why the heck did my mom let me do that?

When I was a kid I didn't know what the term read between the lines meant and I thought people wore bi focal glasses to help them read between the lines.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to hang out with a nice funny guy then lie to all of our friends when they ask us where we met.

If you're real cool and we hit it off I'll show you my favorite thrift store that is still untouched by the hipsters. They have tons o' quality stuff there for cheap. I guarantee you will get a lady boner over this place.

Subscribers to Cat Fancy magazine need not apply.

If you're looking for a douche who wears bedazzled Ed Hardy gear or snaps oiled up pics of themselves in the mirror keep on looking sweet pea....

I AM LOOKING FOR SOMETHING MORE SERIOUS, I HAVE NO TIME FOR SERIAL DATERS. MY GOAL FOR BEING ON THIS SITE IS TO GET OFF THIS SITE, NOT GO ON A MILLION FIRST DATES.