Never take life to seriously, you'll never get out alive.
I'm Tyler if you haven't figured that out by now.

I am convinced that I'm one of the only people on Earth who absolutely cannot stand Doctor Who.
(half of you just stopped reading) I don't know what it is but something about Brittish tv that just doesn't jive with me. I do, however, enjoy myself some Monty Python.

I know. I'm a pardox. Or maybe a contradiction. Or perhaps a juicy contradiction.
I'm a Starburst. (half of you didn't get that joke, the other half are Googling it.)

I enjoy long walks on the beach, and sitting on my front porch drinking scotch while listening to jazz. (Only two of those are true.)

I have a goatee. I secretly would like to rock a ZZ Top beard but I just don't have the patience.
(If you are Googling ZZ Top right now, just walk away. It's not going to work out. I'm sorry)

"I live in hotels, tear out the walls. I have accountants pay for it all."
Actually, I work full time for a marketing company.

Beyond that I'm trying to figure out who I am. For the last few years I'm ashamed to say I spent way too much time and energy being what other people wanted me to be.

Turning on jukeboxes by kicking them. (yep, I am secretly Fonzie.)
Leaping tall buildings in a single bound. (and Superman.)
Being a master of disguise.
Fixing the electronics you just broke.
Cooking the best meal of your life.
Making intellectual jokes that most people don't get.

By the very nature of this question aren't you going to figure that out on your own?

Movies: Pulp Fiction, The Godfather, Scarface, Goodfellas, PCU, Super Troopers.

TV: Californication,Scrubs, South Park,Criminal Minds,The Mentalist.

Music: Phish, The Disco Biscuits, Moe., Umphrey's McGee,The Grateful Dead,Further,Dumptsaphunk, MMW, Keller, Eoto, Led Zepplin, Boston, The Doors, The Rolling stones, Sinatra.

The ability to laugh and close friends. As long as you can laugh at the world and have a good time with friends, you don't really need anything else.
(For those of you saying "hey that's not six things!", Multiply answers by three if it makes you feel better.)

The future, and if I'll get up to the required 88 mph to get back there.

Smoking, drinking, partying, relaxing, hanging out with friends, generally causing a ruckus or participating in shenanigans and having a damn good time doing it.

My personality is so magnetic that I can't carry credit cards.

You're also fluent in sarcasm and bullshit. Or if you just plain want to.

Go ahead, say hello. We'll have fun, I promise.