Find better matches with our advanced matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


25 M Denver, CO

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 9:18pm
6′ 1″ (1.86m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Working on two-year college
Entertainment / Media
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Hello fellow user, I'm Chris. Welcome to my profile. A fabulous bastion of information about me awaits.

* The last year of my life was spent in sunny Tampa, Florida. As of the date of this writing, I've returned to party in my home town, the 303.
* I play percussion instruments, dabble in strings, and own an accordion. Though I probably use it more than any of my other instruments, I am not particularly good at the accordion. I have been paid to professionally play music exactly once in my lifetime, a night playing in a vibraphone-trumpet jazz duet at a bar. I made $150 plus tips. That was a pretty good night.
* Hockey and soccer are my favorites, but I'll watch most sports if you put them in front of me. (Exception: other than March Madness, I don't usually do Basketball.) My team preferences include a garglemesh of teams from Buffalo and Colorado, with a garnish of European and Asian soccer on top.
* I use the word 'garglemesh' sometimes. I think it's a noun.
* Despite watching a fair amount of sports, I don't play much anymore. I played a bit of soccer, lacrosse and football back in high school, but high school was oh so long ago.
* I've recently caught back up with my childhood love of sciences as an adult now. I was a geology major for a bit during my bouts with higher education, and I'm planning on going to school for Environmental Engineering now.
What I’m doing with my life
I currently work online doing transcription stuff. I get paid exceedingly small amounts of money blogging about my favorite soccer team, as well. Other jobs I have had in my life include English tutor, sports talk radio producer, marching band pit instructor, live infomercial pitchman, and guy who screams at people to buy programs outside of Cirque du Soliel. My job history has been described (by me) as 'colorful'.

I am a two-time college dropout, returning to school this fall thanks to the magic of Pell Grants. It took me far too long to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. After a number of years of doing essentially nothing, I've actually got something of a five-year plan going with my life right now. Will I manage to hit those goals by age 30? Stay tuned!
I’m really good at
Striking up conversations in bars with strangers, playing vibraphone solos over blues progressions, writing soccer game recaps while drunk, accidentally littering my writing with comma splices.

Some other stuff too, but those are the important ones.
The first things people usually notice about me
People seem to like one of two things when it comes to me: my baritone voice or my accordion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'll be honest, I haven't read nearly enough in the past few years. We'll just say I like autobiographies, science texts, comedic short story compilations, daily comic strip collections, informational & witty coffee table books and forensic crime novels.

Anything by Pixar, and UHF. (That's the Weird Al movie. If you ever go to see Weird Al in concert with me, you'll notice me quoting along with it incessantly. It's worth noting that if you are going out with me, you're totally going to have to see Weird Al live at some point.) I don't watch movies all that often, at least not in theaters.

Avenue Q, Little Shop Of Horrors, Into The Woods, Godspe-

Oh, you meant TV shows? I enjoyed Dexter and Breaking Bad, I suppose. I don't have a TV and rarely watch newer shows. 99% of my television experience involves sports.

I try not to discriminate based on genre, but I know what I like. I specialize in classic rock and jazz, though there's a special place in my heart for pop music from all eras. I despise music snobs. (In this particular case, 'music snob' means anyone who thinks that any particular artist or piece of music is intrinsically bad.)

I have a fairly bland palate. My favorite food is likely the Turkey, Bacon & Mayonnaise sandwich, followed by the Cinnamon Raisin bagel with cream cheese and the Kraft Mac & Cheese dinner. I'm not what you would call a gourmet, but the only thing I'll flat out refuse is seafood.

When it comes to Alcohol, I'll drink many varieties of rum, whiskey, vodka and cider. If you're looking for specifics, I'm usually found drinking Angry Orchard, Strongbow or some variant of rum & coke.

I have an aversion to anything bitter, and as such I don't like beer.
The six things I could never do without
Musical instruments, science, a good pair of shoes, internet-enabled devices of all sorts, sport, and those rare few jokes that nobody but myself finds funny, but that I will laugh at for hours unending because I'm easier to amuse than a toddler.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Chord progressions. The ins and outs of the English language. Japanese variety shows. Sports, the tactics behind them, and the oddities of team loyalty. How it's possible that I can like watermelon and cantelope so much, yet hate honeydew. Potential stand-up comedy routines that will never be used. Relationships. Cheeseburgers. Relationships with cheeseburgers.
On a typical Friday night I am
At a bar drinking, on the internet goofing around with people I've never met while playing online video games or out watching or playing a sporting event. Sometimes I'm at a bar drinking while on the internet and watching a sporting event.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My celebrity crush is Lady Gaga.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating
You should message me if
* You can tell me what color my eyes are. My driver's license says they're hazel. Some people have told me that they're actually green. Just recently, my roommates were convinced that they were blue. I don't even know any more.
* You know that there is only one A in 'Accordion' and no A in 'Burgundy'.
* You want to hear about the time that I was essentially kidnapped and taken to a Blues jam bar.
* You also follow a variety of bad sports teams and want someone to commiserate with.

Actually, you should probably just message if you are of the same species as me.