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25 M Saint Petersburg, FL

My Details

Last Online
Apr 16
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Dislikes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Japanese (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Hello fellow user, I'm Chris. Welcome to my profile. A fabulous bastion of information about me awaits.

* As you can see by scrolling down the length of this profile, I'm kind of long-winded sometimes. Sorry about that.
* After spending the majority of my life in Colorado, I decided it was time for a change last July. I packed everything I owned into my car and drove down to Tampa.
* I play percussion instruments, dabble in strings and own an accordion. Though I probably use it more than any of my other instruments, I am not particularly good at the accordion. I have been paid to professionally play music exactly once in my lifetime, a night playing in a vibraphone-trumpet jazz duet at a bar. I made $150 plus tips. That was a pretty good night. Being a gigging musician would be awesome, but I'm only good at playing instruments that nobody wants to hear. :(
* Hockey and soccer are my favorites, but I'll watch most sports if you put them in front of me. (Basketball is the most notable exception to that rule.) My team preferences include a garglemesh of teams from Buffalo and Colorado, with a garnish of European and Asian soccer on top.
* My writing style has been called 'conversational', which is really just a nice way of saying that I use way too goddamn many asides.
* Geology and paleontology are my favorite sciences.
* I'm from Colorado, but I've never smoked a joint. In fact, I've never tried any drugs at all except for alcohol. Even then, I abstained until I turned 21. Aren't I a fine, law abiding citizen?
* Russian Blues are my favorite breed of cat. At some point I would like to own one. I will name it Bok Choy. Do not question why I am naming a Russian cat after a Chinese food.
* I have never uploaded a picture with the OKCupid Android app.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm currently a full-time English tutor. I get paid a grand sum of $25 a month to blog about my favorite soccer team, as well. Other jobs I have had in my life include sports talk radio producer, marching band pit instructor, live infomercial pitchman, and guy who screams at people to buy programs outside of Cirque du Soliel. My job history has been described (by me) as 'colorful'.

I have now dropped out of college twice because both times I went, I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do. At some point, I will return to school, because I really would like to get a degree.

At the present time, I'm not actively seeking a relationship. That doesn't necessarily mean that I wouldn't get into one, but I'm not actively seeking one out. What am I still doing on OKCupid then, you may ask? Well, I don't know all that many people down here, so there's something. Or maybe it's for the lulz. Is that still a thing? Is it still 2005?
I’m really good at
Striking up conversations in bars with strangers, playing vibraphone solos over blues progressions, writing soccer game recaps while drunk, swatting gnats, accidentally littering my writing with comma splices.

Some other stuff too, but those are the important ones.
The first things people usually notice about me
"Why are you wearing black pants in summer, you idiot?"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
BOOKS: I'll be honest, I haven't read nearly enough in the past few years. We'll just say I like autobiographies, science texts, comedic short story compilations, daily comic strip collections, informational & witty coffee table books and forensic crime novels.

MOVIES: Anything by Pixar, and UHF. (That's the Weird Al movie. If you ever go to see Weird Al in concert with me, you'll notice me quoting along with it incessantly.) I don't watch movies all that often. I haven't seen any of the movies you have seen, and you will probably get offended by the fact that I haven't seen movies that everyone else has seen. (Examples: ET, Jurassic Park.)

SHOWS: Avenue Q, Little Shop Of Horrors, Godspe-

Oh, you meant TV shows? I enjoyed Dexter and Breaking Bad, I suppose. I don't have a TV and most of the shows I watch are either Whose Line Is It Anyway clips on Youtube or selections from the gaggle of 90's sitcoms and cartoon shows I have on my external hard drive.

MUSIC: I try not to discriminate based on genre, but I know what I like. I specialize in classic rock and jazz, though there's a special place in my heart for pop music from all eras. I despise music snobs. (In this particular case, 'music snob' means anyone who thinks that any particular artist or piece of music is intrinsically bad.)

FOOD: My favorite food is likely the Turkey, Bacon & Mayonnaise sandwich, followed by the Cinnamon Raisin bagel with cream cheese and the Kraft Mac & Cheese dinner. I'm not what you would call a gourmet, but the only thing I'll flat out refuse is seafood. I'm terrible at cooking, but I have been making an effort to improve lately. I enjoy baking.

When it comes to Alcohol, I'll drink many varieties of rum, whiskey, vodka and cider. I don't like beer. When I say that to somebody, they sometimes respond with 'Well you just haven't tried the right KIND of beer!' They have yet to be correct.
The six things I could never do without
Stuff like "food water sex shelter etc" is implied and always should be. I lack a witty answer of my own, however. I don't think I even own six things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Chord progressions. The ins and outs of the English language. Japanese variety shows. Sports, the tactics behind them, and the oddities of team loyalty. How it's possible that I can like watermelon and cantelope so much, yet hate honeydew. Potential stand-up comedy routines that will never be used. Relationships. Cheeseburgers. Relationships with cheeseburgers.
On a typical Friday night I am
At a bar drinking, on the internet goofing around with people I've never met while playing online video games or out watching or playing a sporting event. Sometimes I'm at a bar drinking while on the internet and watching a sporting event.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
My celebrity crush is Lady Gaga.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–28
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends
You should message me if
* You have a favorite dinosaur, with bonus points if that dinosaur isn't something cliché like T-Rex, Triceratops, Pterodactyl or Stegosaurus. Double bonus points if you instantly knew that Pterodactyls aren't actually dinosaurs.
* You know that there is only one A in 'Accordion' and no A in 'Burgundy'.
* You want to hear about the time that I was pseudo-kidnapped and taken to a Blues jam bar.
* You want to join me in my lifelong dream to create a four-piece accordion-led rock band.
* You also follow a variety of bad sports teams and want to sob with someone.

Actually, you should probably just message if you are of the same species as me.