Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hello fellow okcupid.com user, I'm Chris. Welcome to my profile. A
fabulous bastion of information about me awaits.
* From July '13 to July '14, I lived in sunny Tampa, Florida. As of
the date of this writing, I've returned to the party in my hometown
of Denver. I'll be staying here at home for a good amount of time
to come. Will I ever move again? Who knows?! (I would absolutely
love to live in NYC or Chicago or another enormous city at some
point; giant cities are where I feel most at home!)
* I play percussion instruments, dabble in strings, and own an
accordion. Though I probably use it more than any of my other
instruments, I am not particularly good at the accordion. I have
been paid to professionally play music exactly once in my lifetime,
a night playing in a vibraphone-trumpet jazz duet at a bar. I made
$150 plus tips. That was a pretty good night.
* Despite being a Colorado native, I've never liked camping, skiing
or snowboarding. I am, however, always up for a good hike.
* If it seems an inordinate amount of my pictures involve musical
instruments or sports, it's mostly because I only ever seem to get
pictures taken of me when I'm playing something or at a game.
* I've been known to play a vidya or two in my time. I use
Jigglypuff in Super Smash Brothers. This is only because I learned
long ago that people absolutely hate losing to
* Hockey and soccer are my favorites, but I'll watch most sports if
you put them in front of me. (Exception: other than March Madness,
I don't usually do Basketball.) My team preferences include a
garglemesh of teams from Buffalo and Colorado, with a garnish of
European and Asian soccer on top.
* I use the word 'garglemesh' sometimes. I think it's a noun.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm currently a jack of all trades at Walgreens. Stop on by and see
if I'm doing photo or cosmetics on that particular day! Other jobs
I have had in my life include exterminator, English tutor, sports
talk radio producer, marching band pit instructor, live infomercial
pitchman, and guy who screams at people to buy programs outside of
Cirque du Soliel. My job history has been described (by me) as
I've dropped out of college so many times that I should probably
get an honorary degree in dropping out of college. I'm currently
not yet dropped out of college getting a useless-ass Associate of
Arts so I can move on to a real college and get a real degree.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Striking up conversations in bars with strangers, playing
vibraphone solos over blues progressions, pretending like I'm a
decent accordion player, writing soccer game recaps while
Some other stuff too, but those are the important ones.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People seem to notice one of two things when it comes to me: my
baritone voice or my accordion.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I'll be honest, I haven't read nearly enough in the past few years.
We'll just say I like autobiographies, science texts, comedic short
story compilations, daily comic strip collections, informational
& witty coffee table books and forensic crime novels.
Anything by Pixar, and UHF. (That's the Weird Al movie. If you ever
go to see Weird Al in concert with me, you'll notice me quoting
along with it incessantly. It's worth noting that if you are going
out with me, you're totally going to have to see Weird Al live at
some point.) I don't watch movies all that often, at least not in
Avenue Q, Little Shop Of Horrors, Into The Woods, Godspe-
Oh, you meant TV shows? I enjoyed Breaking Bad, I suppose? I'm also
a big fan of House. Past those two, I don't have many
binge-watching guilty pleasures outside of 90's sitcoms that nobody
else watches anymore. I don't have a TV and rarely watch newer
shows. 99% of my television experience involves sports.
I try not to discriminate based on genre, but I know what I like. I
specialize in classic rock and jazz, though there's a special place
in my heart for pop music from all eras. I despise music snobs. (In
this particular case, 'music snob' means anyone who thinks that any
particular artist or piece of music is intrinsically bad.)
I have a fairly bland palate. My favorite food is likely the
Turkey, Bacon & Mayonnaise sandwich, followed by the Cinnamon
Raisin bagel with cream cheese and the Kraft Mac & Cheese
dinner. I'm not what you would call a gourmet, but the only thing
I'll flat out refuse is seafood.
When it comes to Alcohol, I'll drink many varieties of rum,
whiskey, vodka and cider. If you're looking for specifics, I'm
usually found drinking Angry Orchard, Strongbow or some variant of
rum & coke.
I have an aversion to anything bitter, and as such I don't like
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Musical instruments, science, a good pair of shoes,
internet-enabled devices of all sorts, sport, and those rare few
jokes that nobody but myself finds funny, but that I will laugh at
for hours unending because I'm easier to amuse than a toddler.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Chord progressions. The ins and outs of the English language.
Japanese variety shows. Sports, the tactics behind them, and the
oddities of team loyalty. How it's possible that I can like
watermelon and cantelope so much, yet dislike honeydew. Potential
stand-up comedy routines that will never be used. How I could
potentially make it so this section isn't filled with sentence
fragments. Relationships. Cheeseburgers. Relationships with
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a bar drinking, on the internet goofing around with people I've
never met while playing online video games or out watching or
playing a sporting event. Sometimes I'm at a bar drinking while on
the internet and watching a sporting event.
This description is actually somewhat out of date, because the
majority of my friday nights in the past couple of years have been
spent doing karaoke with a group of friends. We're karaoke regulars
now! If you ever want to hear me singing 'Son of a Preacher Man',
feel free to join us.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not a particularly sexual person, for a litany of reasons.
Figured that was the sort of thing I should probably disclose.
Things to discuss later!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
* You can tell me what color my eyes are. My driver's license says
they're hazel. Some people have told me that they're actually
green. Just recently, my roommates were convinced that they were
blue. I personally call them "blue-green" most of the time. I don't
even know any more.
* You know that there is only one A in 'Accordion' and no A in
* You want to hear about the time that I was essentially kidnapped
and taken to a Blues jam bar.
* You need a sports guy on your pub quiz team.
* You also follow a variety of bad sports teams and want someone to
Actually, you should probably just message if you are of the same
species as me.
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