I'm a geek. Pretty much all there is to say about that (it's not, actually, but if you want to know more, you'll have to ask).

I used to be a night owl, but because of work and actually having to, you know, be an ADULT and stuff, I now find myself waking up at 8 am even when I don't have to. Previously I believed 8 am was a mythical realm populated by faeries and elves. Sadly, this turned out to be a misconception, but I still don't really understand this strange new world, and it frightens me.

Organized religion scares the everloving shit out of me.

I am a minor Demigod of the Amusing and Slightly Wacked Comparison (I once described my high school as "whiter than a mayonaise-truck accident at the Republican National Convention.").

I have three best friends. One is a brilliant filmmaker, a conduit of raw funny who nevertheless could get lost three times while walking from the kitchen to the bathroom, and somehow wind up in West Virginia. Another is in med school to become a Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine, and she is the strongest person I've ever met, a true feminist in the absolute best sense of the term. The third is a married computer technician with a lumberjack beard and a smoldering, grumbling hatred for all humanity. The only thing these three have in common is a profound love of mocking me. All of the above have told me many times that I'm a masochist for being friends with them. They're probably right.

I tend to have very strong opinions and express myself quite vocally, but I'm really not bothered if you completely disagree; a good discussion stemming from disagreement can actually be a lot of fun as long as you respect the other person involved.

I have an odd and completely baseless fear of melted ice cream. No, I don't know why. No, I didn't have a bad experience. I'm just fucking weird.

I have a tendency to invent new words, not by accident, but whenever I see an existing need the English language doesn't currently fulfill.

One of my friends described me the following way: "I think some people's emotions are just too big to hide, and you're one of those people."

I'm planning on teaching high school history, so that should tell you something about how little I care about having an abundance of money.

My golden rule is this: if you can accept me for who I am, I can accept you for who you are. End of story. Unless you're a clown, in which case I will run away from you screaming vociferously.

Currently, I peddle beer and bring pretzels to overdressed businessmen and lobbyists on lunch break. The beer part's fun. The rest of it...not so much.

I take absurd amounts of amusement from properly placed linguistic errors. Example: today a co-worker and I discovered that the back of house employees (most of whom speak little to no English) had labelled a large number of cans filled with dark legumes as "Black Bears." All I could think was, "worst...jack in the box...ever."

Oh, and according to this summary, I apparently like parentheses.

Right now, working and trying to pay the rent.

Writing (I mean, I do have a History degree), singing (most people don't know this, though, since I don't do it for other people often), and seeing things in an unusual way. Oh yeah, and I make some mean scrambled eggs.

My sense of humor. Whether or not they laugh, it IS the first thing they notice, and its pretty readily apparent whether or not someone gets me.

(a) -Everything Terry Pratchett has ever written
-Shogun by James Clavell
-Grendel by John Gardner
-Ender's Shadow/Shadow of the Hegemon by Orson Scott Card
-Everything Dave Barry has ever written
-Prisoner of Trebekistan by Bob Harris
-Soon I Will Be Invincible by Austin Grossman
-Lincoln by Gore Vidal

(b) -Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
-Good Will Hunting
-Adaptation
-Dr. Strangelove
-The Royal Tenenbaums
-Cool Runnings

(c) -Skipping this one

(d) -Asian food. I LOVE Asian food. Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean, as long as its not Indian, I'm a fan.

I'm going to eliminate the easy answers involving friends, foods, sleep, and things like that, and go with less obvious ones.

Validation. Touch. Dichotomies. Humility. Absurdity. Pandas.

Being a superhero. Sushi. Silly String Theory. Vidjamagames. How I'm going to somehow get my tables drunk enough that they'll actually tip me 20% (not usually very difficult, our beer is REALLY good).

Working, hopefully. That's where the money is.

I never learned how to ride a bike.

What I wrote about myself actually appeals to you. I'll always give someone a chance before I decide I don't like them.

But don't wink at me. For the love of God, don't wink at me. I've tried to disallow winks, but apparently Okcupid refuses to let me. Look, I'm happy to talk to anyone, but if you're actually interested in talking to me, take the time and thought necessary to actually write me a message. Sending a wink just tells me you're lazy and not really interested in talking to me anyway, because I feel like if you actually were interested in who I am, you'd take the time to talk to me. I am entirely uninterested in playing this wink bullshit.