Badinage should be an olympic sport. I am prone to metamorph into the devil's advocate solely because he offers great dental benefits. I exercise for the endorphin rush. I am addicted to most things involving sweat.
I teeter across the line of relentless guffawing and
inappropriate commentary with the greatest of ease. Unfortunately, grace often slips and I plunge to my doom on the side of incorrigibly offensive. I swear it's just jest. My play ranges from rough and tumble style to witty badinage. My train of thought derails easily - often to the point of appearing desultory. I easily become infatuated with intellect - until something sparkly or glow in the dark distracts me. I practice the fine art of terrorist cuddling - if it appears that I've spent the entire afternoon silently maneuvering behind you, formulating a battle strategy, only to materialize from
behind the couch and leap into cuddle position like it was a planned attack, its because it was. I am my own weapon of mass destruction. In the past I was really active in team sports but have slowly let that collapse in my life like a flan in the cupboard. I used to do a lot of improv, now I just do a lot of veterinary medicine.
*Note: Here is where I have the chance to insert a footnote
that in both I "knock 'em dead" - but alas! The goddess of tact has saved me! Can I get a witness from the congregation?!

Saving the world so it's nice enough for someone to want to take over. One animal at a time. Humans are at the end of the queue (legally...not my gig...).

I am a veterinarian. I work at a zoo for now. Next stop, anything but private practice?

JFreak1000 is my socializing/rehabilitation sponsor. I am on the 8th step so now send people a standardized form pre-apologizing for any impending amends prior to actually meeting them.

(It's true. I'm being kept on retainer as a sort of life coach - official title: "Julie, Your Cruise Director" - by my dear interwebz friend... lemme check my notes here... yes! By my dear friend IguanaWhisperer69! I've been tasked with easing her out of her pernicious addiction to bestiality and plushophilia. (I can't believe those pictures got past the OKVetting. Somebody in Manhattan obviously needs to lay off the midday girl drinks.) First step is to throw her an old school Big Hair Houston Deb coming out ball *if* I can find a big enough manger... - JFreak1000)

Editors

• jfreak1000

Throwing condoms at pigeons. Damn overbreeders. Chewing up my tax dollars. And now they are going to give me the flu - those abstinence only programs just don't work.

My volume. Unless I am sporting a headache - then the lack of any evidence of life in my countenance.

Impro by Keith Johnstone. It makes me nostalgic for his voice ("It's obvious, guys. Seduce the burglar").

Most of what I read is medical texts so I can offer the best veterinary care for my patients...and by "the best" I mean what I come up with - so maybe "the best" is a huge stretch of the imagination. A lot of it is extrapolated from human medicine, though I strongly favor the ability to end suffering over watching the slow and sometimes painful demise of an animal. I do not envy MD's who lack that option. I do envy MD's for having a more flexible budget with which to treat a patient.

I am a sushi fanatic. I am waiting on the mercury toxicity to kick in. Some might debate that it already has...

Music I like acoustic guitar, but I tend to listen to a decently wide range of tunes.

Movies - anything that makes me feel any range of emotions and has a fulfilling ending. I've been known to watch Closer, Princess Bride, Batman, and Love Actually at inordinately high frequencies.

A blue gel pen.
Shiraz.
Silence.
Caffeine.
Deep tissue massage.
Wit.
And if you can't count...
Playful rough-housing. Most things involving sweat. Impressive vocabularies. Acoustic guitar. Half-zip sweaters. Puppies. Long runs. Sunglasses that don't fog. Prolonged eye contact. Being surrounded by nothing reminiscent of my species.

how to find more people on the same page as me....anyone else on 1024? Chapter 6? No?

How to establish a social life with attractive prospects in Houston. Ideas are welcome.

What to do next.

Decompressing.

(Or, hunting Sarah Palin from a helicopter. - jfreak1000)

Editors

• jfreak1000

Intellect is the biggest turn-on ever.

Also, I blocked people under 26. I apologize for the age-ism ahead of time. However, I am also obsessed with efficiency.

Someone already told you not to.

*Disclaimer: If you are interested in anything other than platonic and are younger than me, I'm not your girl. Dating me can be more a form of punishment for the wrong person (I can give you contact info for some exes if you need verification). However, if I get along with you on a platonic level, it's not all that bad. Less nightmares, anyway.