The Top Ten Reasons I’d Be Your Best Girlfriend Ever:

10. You’ll only see me in the pretty lingerie—no granny panties here.

9. You’ll be proud to have me on your arm at a work event or your friend’s wedding.

8. You’ll eat well when we dine in. I love to cook, and if you like to do dishes, then I really love to cook! :-)

7. You’ll feel respected. If I’m dating you, it’s because I respect you.

6. You can talk to me about work or what's going on in the world.

5. You’ll never have to worry about my letting myself go.

4. You’ll laugh a lot.

3. You won’t have to listen to me complain about a lot of stuff—I’m a pretty positive person. And when I get cranky, you can call me on it.

2. You’ll never be one of those guys holding my purse while I shop. I love to be stylish, but I stay out of retail stores as much as possible.

1. You’ll never hear me utter those words, “I’m not in the mood,” and rarely, if ever, “No, I don’t want to try that.”

Although I've been a writer my whole life, I discovered a few years ago that I'm pretty good in front of an audience...so I'm now writing and performing onstage. My new show is kind of a comedy about the environment, which I'm pretty passionate about--and I'm having a lot of fun with it. I also do work that pays--mostly advertising-type stuff.

Turning Thanksgiving dinner into a dance party.

Maybe...long legs?

I pay for Will Ferrell movies; read Ian McEwan novels; and watch endless episodes of "Louie" (until I run out of them, and then I don't watch anything for weeks). I'm a self-proclaimed genius at pan-searing fish, and I can't talk about music--I'd rather just stick my earbuds in your ears and watch your reaction...

(But I did download a bunch of stuff recently that included Muse, Lupe Fiasco, old Billy Joel, and some v cool Ethiopian jazz from the 70s.)

Organic kale, coconut water, frozen blueberries, fresh ginger, flax seeds, and my Krups blender. Oh, and a dishwasher.

Recycling.

Last Friday I went to a dance class and then drinks with friends. I saw a friend's solo show on another Friday. A few Fridays before that was a dinner thing at a chef's apartment on Roosevelt Island. And once every month or two I go to this crazy Ukulele Meetup group--the most awesome mix of coolness and dorkness.

I shaved a few years off my age, then felt really guilty, and then realized I can't change it without starting a whole new profile. And it's the last time I'll ever lie to you.

You're kind, a good communicator, and haven't misspelled half your profile.

And, once we meet, you're willing to go a bit slowly...