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23 M Broadstone, UK

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–28
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Atheism, and laughing about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of masters program
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi ^-^

I'm Josh but most people call me Ulk or Ulkreghz - a name I've used since the earliest days of World of Warcraft (don't panic, I abandoned the game years ago).

And now for something completely different...

Now, this is the story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became some bloke in a town called Broadstone

In central Poole born and Yorkshire raised
On the PlayStation and PC was where I spent most of my days
Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
And all jumpin' some Crash Bandicoot outside of school
When quite a while later a couple of employers
Who were up to no good
Startin making trouble in my neighborhood
I got in one little unemployment stint and life took a turn
And I said 'I'm movin' all over the place and finally to Broadstone with my gran'

I begged and pleaded with her day after day
But she gave in and took me in (yay)
She gave me a kiss and then she gave me the rules
I put my interview clothes on and said, 'I might as well kick it'.

Fourth job, yo this is okay
Drinking water out of a champagne glass.
Is this what the people of Broadstone living like?
Hmmmmm this might be almost alright.

But wait, I hear the old biddies, neighbours and all that
Is this the type of place that I should be a cool cat?
I shouldn't think so
I'll see when I get online
I hope they're prepared for the prince of Wasting time on Steam-air

Well uh, the car pulled in and when I came out
There was my gran who looked like a grumpy angel standing there with her hands out
I ain't trying to get argued with yet.
I just got here!
I sprang with the quickness, like lightening disappeared

I whistled for a net connection and when it came near
The IP addres said numbers and it had speed in the air
If anything I can say is that this net was rare
But I thought 'Man forget it' - 'Yo homies to Steam-fuck-yeah'

I walk up to the work about twelve or one
And I yell to the coworkers 'Hi'
I looked to my till
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the guy who lost track of what he was doing to this song. Yeah.

I have a pet tortoise but she currently lives with my parents and I'm a quiet guy with a 'sub' side - PM me if you're curious.

Employed in a grocery store in Broadstone - if you can't find me out the whole two stores then you might not be in Broadstone. Recognise me? Say hi, I won't bite but I will be a little confused, embarrassed and overjoyed.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
A complex amalgamation of gaming and looking for MOAR work. Also a whole lot of healing. I've broken my right hand + wrist :(

When not wasting my life away on Steam games or working in a shop I can be found gardening and complaining about how hot it is here in the south unlike my home-town of York. I'm also looking for all the local friends I can get as I'm relatively new to the area and the OAPs outweigh under 40s by 6 trillion to one here D:
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Autofellatio, making situations awkward or sexual, Warhammer 40k fluff and Prop Hunt in Garry's Mod.

Apparently I'm also a dab hand at Surgeon Simulator 2013 <3

Well, when my HAND ISN'T BROKEN. If I type it in Capslock I look less needy right? RIGHT?! No? D:
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My height is a common one, "Aren't you tall?" or "Careful there, mind your head." Failing that it'll be compliments about how nice my hair is on the one day I didn't even remotely bother to comb it or how annoyingly flirtatious I am with everyone.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books & Authors: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the works of H.P. Lovecraft, Black Library publications, Isaac Asimov, Roald Dahl, The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul, the Discworld books, Michael Moorcock's Elric of Melniboné‎, Paulo Cuello's 'The Alchemist' - the list goes on and on.

Film: Men In Black, Lion King, Pocahontas, thrillers, horror, love-romance, romcoms, intellectual, sci-fi, Mars Attacks, Back to the Future (all)...

TV: The X-Files, Futurama, Vicar of Dibly, Father Ted, Fireman Sam (80s), Big Bang Theory; documentaries on animals / science, Community, Stargate SG-1 & Atlantis, Star Trek (The Next Generation, Deep Space 9 & Voyager - with some of TOS & ENT)

Food: Bacon, meat, vegetation and fungi. Pretty much anything but I'll draw the line at reptiles and poultry.

Music: 1930s to dubstep; Classical, Baroque and Romantic to
hardstyle, metal and 70s punk. Heck, anything goes. On that note, here's my main playlist on YouTube with music from all walks, and
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
The internet
GabeN's love
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Science 'n' stuff, women. VIDYA.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Moping about having broken my hand and playing games really poorly for it, being high on morphine or codeine is a bonus but they make me sle- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
You'll have to ask or you could browse my Twitter account and try to work out what isn't a lie, satire or a dumb joke.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You're a spambot
- You Googled my username and now you're not sure WTF is going on
- You need a buddy / team killer on Steam (Ulkreghz) or Uplay (Ulkreplay)
- You want me to purchase a hot beverage for you in return for a bit of chatter and exchanging of gamer tags / numbers
- You want to ^-^
- You're one of the Glorious PC Gaming Master Race and wish to find fellow games players
- You're in desperate need of sitting on someone's face
- You had to double-take the previous statement
- You want to have a chitchat about anything at all
- You can take a better photo because my gods I can't take one for shit

Shy? Join the club! We have OKCupid accounts and everything...