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28 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:11pm
Body Type
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Politics / Government
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Chinese (Poorly), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary

I am really competitive and laid-back, in the same sentence. I work hard and I play hard. I am the boring cliche' your mother wants me to be. Let's get dressed up and have a professional photographer take some pics of us being "us," for all of Facebook to see. Yay!

And yes, goddamnit, I love traveling. Anybody who isn't a big dummy wants to go out and do things in exotic locations. That's not even worth mentioning.
What I’m doing with my life

I am Abortion Jesus and I give free, miraculous abortions using my advanced, extraterrestrial technology. All my sermons end with me taking a $100 bill and ripping it up, in the same way Regular Jesus ripped up the fish and bread back in the day, until I have enough money to compensate all the ladies in the crowd for all the wages they've been shorted in one year, due to their gender. Then I just talk about Firefly for five hours until everybody wants to crucify me again. Abortion Jesus.

Actually, I'm getting out of the Army in two months and I just got accepted to UW-Tacoma. I imagine the first semester will be mostly prerequisites but the goal is to get into a computer engineering program somewhere. I'm excited!
I’m really good at

Learning languages, anything requiring hand-eye coordination, writing eloquently when I feel strongly about something, and being an outrageous fuck (if I like you).
The first things people usually notice about me

Why does every rail-thin woman in Seattle think her non-ass is worth mentioning in this section?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
We can discuss this if we meet. I don't feel like typing out all of the things I am passionate about for a statistically indifferent audience. What I mean by "statistically indifferent" is that most of the women on here don't meet my criteria, and I don't meet theirs, so why waste time telling you all of the things?

Food: All of it. I am not a picky eater and I'd rather not date one.
The six things I could never do without of the things you can't live without is sex?? Whoa! I bet you're one of those girls who's also really into breathing and Paris, huh?
I spend a lot of time thinking about

...reproductive rights, gay marriage, racism, the LHC, wealth inequality, our shitty education system. Nah, just kidding. My thoughts consist entirely of jiggling girl butts.
On a typical Friday night I am

If I'm in Capitol Hill, my Friday night invariably turns into a drag queen safari. Not complaining.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I would like to know what Yakuza henchmen are screaming at me right before they attack me with knives. Don't you?
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–35
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
If you can't handle me at my "wurst," then you're not getting any sausage.

If you ironically appreciated all the van Damme-ery.