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UnBerkeleyGirl

51 F Berkeley, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 4:28pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Full figured
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of Ph.D program
Job
Education
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I wasn't going to put three words to describe myself at the end of this self-summary, but someone once described me as smarty, arty, and tarty, and I thought "I'll take that!" But really: Passionate: that's the word that best describes me. I throw myself headlong into things I care about, whether they are my work (I teach college English and I love it), my creative hobbies (jewelry-making and writing erotica), my kids, or my friendships. I love to read and think and talk about what I'm reading. I would love to be with someone who shares those passions with me.

If the connection is there, I think a lot of little details can be negotiated or overlooked. Sometimes that connection is intellectual; sometimes it's physical. Sometimes it manifests itself through a shared sense of humor, and sometimes through a similar outlook on life. I'm hoping to win the jackpot: a connection on all those levels, transcending chemistry and becoming alchemy, and I look forward to having the feeling that all the blood in my veins has been replaced with liquid fire when we kiss. I like to talk about ideas and current events as well as to get silly and goofy. I don't believe in living an unconscious life, but I love to shriek with laughter and find a reason to do so often. I have a well-developed taste for the absurd and a serious love of kitsch.

I have been wearing Chanel 19 every day of my life since I was twenty. I like to think that some day, many years from now, when I have been dead a long time, someone will smell it and think of me. I'm not the slightest bit spiritual and have a zero tolerance policy towards jargon. Although I like the outdoors, I'm a real urbanite.

I'm gregarious and vivacious, social and flirtatious. Animated and warm and have a highly individual style. But I'm comfortable in my own skin and have the ability to not be lonely just because I'm alone. Friendships mean a lot to me and I feel lucky to have so many good friends in my life. I have maintained several friendships with exes and am close friends with my ex-husband; I think life is too short to be spent angrily.

I would like to be in a real relationship, one in which, in addition to the toe-curling sex--and plenty of it--there would be things like watching your nephew in his school play, or watching someone's friend's sister's attempt to break into the comedy business, shopping for your new patio furniture together, or providing a shoulder for you to lean on after you return from visiting your father in the hospital. I am the world's most awesome girlfriend: thoughtful, kind, generous, affectionate, funny, and always up for an adventure. Your boss will be charmed; your friends will tell you how lucky you are. I am not looking for someone who shares every one of my interests, and I don't expect to share all of yours. I'm looking for someone to complement me, not someone to complete me.
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a college instructor, working at a small liberal arts university, where I hope I get to make a difference in people's lives. The hours are long, the pay is dreadful, and I adore my job. Turning people on to something I care passionately about is a great reward.

I'm also raising two children, ages 15 and 20. The older one is off at college during the school year, and the younger one lives with me half-time.

I make (and sometimes sell) jewelry and write (and sometimes publish) erotica.

I keep discovering more things I never thought I would like being fascinating and exciting. Last summer I took a great trip to Central Europe for almost a month, after years of no international travel, and I've realized I need to include more of it. So the next goal is Spain or Morocco, or Malaysia. Perhaps this time with a partner. This is a great time of life!
I’m really good at
Remembering obscure song lyrics. People sometimes call me up (okay, so by "people," I mean my sister) and ask me what song some odd snippet is from and I almost always know.

Making a mean pesto, a great mojito, and a strong cup of coffee.
My chocolate chip cookies are legendary.

Finding thoughtful ways to show my affection and appreciation.

My job.
The first things people usually notice about me
Well, visually, I dress a bit quirkily and wear a lot of jewelry.
My smile.

Once you get past the immediate physical, I have a well-developed sense of humor and a blazing wit.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
So many of these I can't think of what to put down.
But NOT "Eat Pray Love"---if you think that's every woman's favorite book, you don't have a very good sense of me!

I'm an instructor of literature, so it goes without saying that I love to read. I'm usually working on several books at once: a novel for my book group; a novel I just want to read; a book a student has loaned me (I love my students and consider it a huge compliment that they often make cds of their favorite music for me or loan me their favorite books); a book I'm teaching or getting ready to teach; and some non-fiction.

I love novels: from the eighteenth century on up. I can't give a list of all my favorite books--it would be too long and what would be the point--but here are some things I've read in the last year or so that have stayed with me. I'd love to discuss any of them with any of you who've also been taken with them. I just finished "The Goldfinch," by Donna Tartt, and decided that I am willing to wait another ten years for her next book if it's as engrossing and satisfying as this one. I just re-read "Washington Square," and realized after an absence that I actually like Henry James. I recently read "Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk," and loved it so much I'm trying to plan a class around it. Adam Ross' first novel, "Mr. Peanut" made my head spin (but that's a feeling I love to have)! I loved Jonathan Franzen's newest, "Freedom." I read "A Short History of a Small Place," by Pearson, and found myself laughing my head off and wishing I was southern and lived in a world where people prided themselves on their ability to express themselves creatively and imaginatively. I devoured both of Hilary Mantel's books about Cromwell, "Wolf Hall," and "Bring Up the Bodies," in a transport of amazement that anything about the Tudors still had the capacity to thrill me. The books calling to me from my nightstand include "The Last Policeman." I like any novel which takes a risk: I love Austen and Auster, and everyone in between.

I don't read nearly as much non-fiction, but I probably read between 12-17 non-fiction books a year. I'm still basking in the afterglow from "The Faraway Nearby,"by Rebecca Solnit. "The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks," was a fascinating piece of journalism. I really enjoyed "The Age of Wonder," and the spellbinding "The Hare With Amber Eyes," by Edmund de Waal. Recent non-fiction favorites include "Far From the Tree," by Andrew Solomon, "What Do Women Want," by Daniel Bergner, "At Home," by Bill Bryson, and almost anything by Mary Roach. One of my all-time faves is "The Botany of Desire"--Michael Pollan before he became America's food guru.

I've been listening to audio books a lot more lately, and
podcasts have saved me from the tyranny of radio. I'm a junkie for: "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me," "This American Life," "The Moth," "Fresh Air," "A Way With Words," "Savage Love," and "Radio Lab," and I occasionally dive into "Stuff You Missed in History Class," and "The Royal Society" lecture series. My newest podcast love is "Lexicon Valley." Boy, do I heart my iPod!

Movies: I like many and can't think of a favorite right now, but as a rule, I don't like those big action-heavy, special-effects laden blockbusters, "chick flick" romantic comedies, sentimental love stories, or horror movies. Typically, I'm more an indie kind of movie girl, but I love classics from the 30s, 40s, 60s, and 70s. Of course there are exceptions to this general guideline. I sometimes think I am a twelve-year-old boy.

I don't watch tv. That is, I watch some tv shows, but I rent them (my philosophy seems to be, "why get it for free when you can wait a whole year until everyone's seen it and is on to the next thing, and then you can pay a lot of money to rent it!"). Brilliant strategy, huh? But it makes for a weird way to watch a whole season or even a whole series at once. Favorite gorge-fests include "Arrested Development" and "The Wire." I just scarfed down season 2 of "Orange is the New Black" over the first three days it was released.

I like most kinds of music, even, thanks to the tutorial my daughter has provided, some contemporary country--at least a little bit. Except rap. And I confess that Serious Jazz makes me feel kind of inadequate. I don't seem to care about music in the all-consuming way I used to when I was younger, and it bugs me that OkCupid doesn't consider live theater, which is much more my passion than live music, in any of its zillion and one questions. I also like going to art museums and Giants games.

Food: if it has garlic, I'm there!
The six things I could never do without
~Books, the actual physical kind, and a high-backed chair in which to read them.
~Red wine or a fancy cocktail in a glass that makes me feel like I'm pretending to be a grownup.
~Passionate sex.
~Slightly bitter lattes with good foam.
~A cozy comforter on a winter's night.
~"Joe Jackson's Jumpin' Jive" and Freedy Johnston's "This Perfect World"--the only albums that made me want to write a fan letter.
~The knowledge that just because something tells me to stop at six, I don't need to.
~The Oxford Comma.
~My regular walk.
~Trees to look at from an office window, reminding me that the outside still exists when I'm inside.
~A good, sharp knife.
~Music to sing along with.
~People who can keep up.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Connections of various sorts.
"Only Connect," is my motto (okay, so E.M. Forster said it first).

Why are all the kinky people also the poly people?

Why there is so much hatred driving American politics and do I want to move to Canada?

What is the name of that damn song--I used to know it!

What dead or mostly dead thing will a cat bring into the house today?

My next deep, slow, hot kiss--when will it take place, and with whom?
On a typical Friday night I am
Is there really such a thing as a "typical" Friday night? Every other Friday I'm with my younger daughter. Alternate Fridays may find me having dinner with friends, going to hear live music and dancing, catching a burlesque show or a movie, or curling up on the couch with either a video, a good book, or some back issues of "The New Yorker" and a few glasses of wine. Want to join me?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
The first "real" album I owned was "John Denver's Greatest Hits."
Wait . . . why are you running away?
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 40–62
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You don't have an irony deficiency and you can keep up.
You believe more in a chemistry which can't be predicted even by the best algorithm invented, and you are funny, smart, and warm.