http://lifestyle.msn.com/relationships/articleoprahmatch.aspx?cp-documentid=9073643&GT1=32023

Ok, after reading this article I have a few things to say about the nature of friendships. This Rabbi discusses the "rules" you have to follow when entering into opposite-sex friendships, and whether or not you can have any if you're in a relationship. Once and for all, people are all different, no set of rules can apply to everyone. I am so sick of these "experts" telling us how to live our lives, especially when they are so often way fucking wrong.

I'll respond to his so-called rules separately:

You can't go out to late night dinners together. You can have lunch together in a public place, but you should not order alcoholic beverages.
So that late-night Denny's run with your study buddy, the drinks with a pal, that's against the rules. Cause you know, if it's dark or alcohol touches your lips, you might start fucking like bunnies on the table at Friday's! God help you if it's dark and you have drinks, then the whole restaurant will turn into Sodom and Gomorrah!

You can't take long drives or long flights with the other person, even if it's for work.
I just got back from a week's vacation with a platonic male friend, we drove 18 hours there, 20 back and spent the week together. Guess what, we didn't sleep together.

You cannot place yourself in any situation where romance can grow.
What does that even mean? Romance can grow in damn near any situation, if it's going to grow. Doesn't mean it will.

You can't share secrets with a platonic male or female friend that you don't share with your spouse.
Give me a fucking break. How often do same-sex friends know all the intimate details of their friends' relationships? You're telling me it's different if I'm talking to a guy? You shouldn't hold information back from your S.O., you should work stuff out together. But when you do need a confidante, what matters is whether that person is good to go to for advice. Gender identity is not a predictor of worth.

You should not be friends with ex-lovers.
Look, if it's over, it's over. There's a reason things didn't work out.

I'm not saying every man and every woman can have opposite-sex friends. If there's one thing I've learned, it's that there are fucked-up people in every group. But most of my good friends are guys. When I'm dating someone, that person has to understand that I have a lot of guy friends. If a guy is so insecure that he can't trust me, having male friends is not the real problem.

On the other hand, if someone is cheating on their S.O. with their opposite-sex friends, that person was probably going to cheat anyway, they just picked a convenient target.

Relationships are going to be what they are going to be. Putting a label on things limits their potential, because then everyone has an opinion about what that category of relationship is supposed to be. "Friends don't do that" or "You can't be friends if you dated" or whatever other bs people come up with that they learned by reading Cosmo or GQ.

All relationships involve trust, love and understanding. Friends, lovers or partners; male, female or transgender; gay, straight or bi. So rather than place rules and restrictions on friendships, let's take things as they are and share the love. ::grin::