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45 Oakland, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–99
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Jan 2
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body type
Other, and laughing about it
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Seeing Someone
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay), Portuguese (Okay), Sign Language (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
An outrageously flamboyant woman with two husbands was a key childhood role model of mine....Many possibilities that are unthinkable for most of us, I grew up thinking they're normal.

I've seen and experienced many beautiful things in Polyamory-land. But I also feel there tends to be a lot of unacknowledged feelings and “avoidant” tendencies, to diffuse intimacy so as to avoid deep attachment and commitment that would actually be healing of old “attachment wounds” we all inevitably have, and deeply fulfilling, but are scary. I've seen some of that in myself, and I want to be done with it. I'm seeking a slow and delicious courtship dance leading into a dynamic companionship that will stick around.

The mono-affectionate conventional relationship norm doesn't make sense to me, though. I want revolution in everyday life (as well as on the institutional level). I'd like to be lovers with someone who matches my zest for co-creating very lively intentional community. This has a dimension of intellectual ferment, and it's also a matter of ecstatic communion.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm attempting to contribute something towards the flourishing of anti-authoritarian social revolution.

I facilitate workshops / parties around communicating what we want in terms of non-sexual touch. Some people come to them just to practice saying NO to touch they don't want. (You must get an active verbal YES before touching anyone). Typically, though, there is a super-abundance of affection for those who seek it, and in all kinds of newly discovered forms.

I try to foster situations of generosity and solidarity, to give us a sweet little taste of free association. May our appetites for this taste grow ravenous! Let us bite the hand that feeds us the artificially flavored crap of the current social (dis)order, so that we might savor even stronger flavors of joyous anarchy and shared resource communism. Why shouldn't this be our staple after all, in infinite varieties and in much greater helpings?!

I also write, take part in various educational projects, and actions against war, budget cuts for education, and the general absurdity and screwy priorities of capitalist civilization.

Getting out into beautiful natural places is essential for me, and I love sharing this experience with others. I've spear-headed a collective land project northwest of Yosemite towards this end. It operates as remote getaway and alternative retreat center of sorts, three hours east of the bay area.

I play clarinet in a marching band that does a lot of Balkan Romani stuff and New Orleans Jazz, and little bits of lots of things, including some Fela Kuti, old revolutionary Spanish and Italian songs, some Latin stuff, and a Palestinian song.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cuddling, communicating, kissing, massaging, listening, conversing, drawing people out of their shells, petting cats and getting even difficult ones to like me, cooking, social networking, learning languages, Botany, Mycology, memorizing and singing long ballads that I play on guitar, planning good backpacking trips.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My long braids, and my playful quirky renegade sense of the world.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Some Books: Letters of Insurgents, by Freddy Perlman; The Man Who Fell In Love with the Moon, by Tom Spanbauer.

Some Films: Themroc (1973), The Sweet Movie (1974), How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989), Delicatessen (1991), Libertarias (1996), Sin Noticias De Dios (2001).

Some music: I'm obsessed with punk female vocalists. I love a lot of diverse music and have a pretty huge collection, over 200 GB of Funk, Afrobeat, punk, ska, hip hop, Japanoise, folk, experimental, jazz, free improv, old anarchist songs, blues, some electronic, Mexican rock, metal, rock, a ton of ethnic stuff, including over 8 GB of Roma & Flamenco. Lately I've been listening to a lot of old Angolan pop, The Oriental Brothers (from eastern Nigeria), and Congotronics.

I need more good dance music (...if anybody wants to trade mp3s...hint, hint). Sometimes I get bored with recorded music...I like to sing with people, and I have memorized, for example, a dozen obscure, absurd, psychedelic old Dylan ballads which I play on guitar. I love rounds and improvisational singing games.

I play clarinet with a marching band (see above).

Some food: Ethiopian & Burmese, when going out. Thai curries and a spicy Iraqi pesto-like sauce, called “S'choog”(sp?), when I'm cooking.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I thought I could do without answering this question, but OkC keeps telling me my profile is incomplete.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Lots of things....I can be a bit of a nerd and a polymath....I was valedictorian of Berkeley City College once, for example...

Lately I geek out on communication around touch and intimacy a lot....

When it comes to radical social analysis, I focus on body-mind-political psychology, not just the institutional dimension.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
seeing friends, making dinner, dancing, going to a general assembly, backpacking, casting absurd spells, anything...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Though I can't wink one eye without flinching the other, I'm learning to differentiate and "wink" with the front, right, back, and left sides of my anus, independently. It's a Taoist "sexual gung fu" thing.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You feel an affinity with me. I'm open to hearing from anyone who resonates with me, for friendship and cuddling. For that slow and delicious courtship dance I mentioned above, note that I'm mostly attracted to women. But men who are bi-sensual or bi-sexual are welcome to get in touch with me.