What? You're still reading?
I thought that if I worked really hard, I might become fit and healthy, transcend my disabilities, and just maybe, become attractive enough to find the love of my life.
Well, I guess Two out of three ain't bad.
If you're a male and reach 50, it's pretty much all over. The only people who want to know you are scam artists. Even here on OKC. Who somehow figure you must be desperate and gullible. Who will fall for anything. The truth is, the older I get, the less I give excrementally.
I'd still like to be in love. To find someone who I can fall into and who can fall into me. As degrading as this process is, I feel I'm pretty much out of other options. I am speech impaired. Oh I can talk somewhat eloquently in a quite place. Out in the wild however, you'd hardly hear me. So that puts speed dating and meat-market bars out of the question. In any case, I'm not just out to get laid. Though a bit of warmth and tenderness wouldn't go astray now and then.
But I'm a realist. I don't expect anyone to fall in love with me now. Even though I probably have a lot to offer.
So if you've read this far, I guess you're wondering who I really am?
My name is Batz Goodfortune. Yes, that really is my name. And they say the `good fortune' rubs off. I am a cyclist by choice. I tend to shun fossil fueled vehicles. People don't get the idealism. Usually people less healthy. I like the idea of traveling great distance, entirely under my own power. While pleasantly listening to beats of my own choice.
I am nothing if not an eccentric idealist.
I am supposed to be a musician and composer. Specializing in Electronic music. I'm still signed to an independent record label in Brisbane. I'm attempting to get back into that. Perhaps write a symphony or two before I die. No great hurry really. I work with computers and electronics and can make all kings of stuff in my lab. And before you ask, I am in fact a card carrying member of the mad scientists association. Though I leave world domination to my younger colleagues these days.
I earn a pittance but I owe nothing and own everything outright. Including my little house by the beach. Where I am something of a thorn in the side of my more affluent neighbours.
I opened my house and my heart to a 20 year old ADHD computing student and his developmentally challenged girlfriend. Neither of whom have any relation to me. I had no obligation but it was the right thing to do. As annoying and challenging as they are, I feel a sense satisfaction that I could help them when no-one else would.
I suffer greatest in the winter time. I thrive in the summer. Yet I relish each moment, good or bad, with gusto. For one day we will feel no more. And unlike some people, it would seem, at least I feel. I love my life. It's not perfect or particularly influential, most people don't get it, but every now and then, my day is brilliant.
I am an atheist. Or at least I don't need the prayers of man to give me a moral code. I'm not a follower but my friends often take after me. And I learn from my friends. Although I'm a cyclist and sometimes a skater, I don't follow sport. I feel that sport is something you do, not something you watch. But if you do it, then I support you. I am driven and sometimes obsessive but not anal. I don't suffer fools gladly but try not to spread the hurt. I try not to laugh at other people's expense but there are exceptions. As I do like to laugh. I have an absurdist sense of humor. I am something of a skeptic and try not to harbor any irrational beliefs. If I believe anything, it is in occam's razor. Reality will always bite you on the arse no matter what you believe.
I like to love. And I love unconditionally. But be warned... I don't do "Ordinary."