I sit at the severely upgraded toaster I use as a computer and stare into the digital oblivion. Why am I here? Don't know. Where did I come from? A mystery as well. I am a piece of nerd toast which has grown mature with a spread of jam of only the hippest flavors. Of course, through the flavor, the initial constitution of my being can never be changed.

I am complex, kind/fair, and well educated

i have a degree in English and am a licensed teacher for junior high and high school. I have no debt. I have many friends. So, naturally, I said, 'Screw this shit," and became my own boss, working doing screen printing. I would still make a great teacher, however, first, I have to make some real money so I don't end up eating Campbell's soup for dinner for the next decade. Right now my website is in the final stages of basic development. Next comes marketing. I would like help at points but feel this is better because it educates me mercilessly and hardens my resolve.

other answers include:
Writing, Printing Shirts, Filming, Editing Film, Being the best damn human being I can be. In terms of employment and education, I work as a freelance writer for fun and do data acquisition and analysis for my bread and butter. I enjoy being gainfully employed and being my own boss to boot. Work is hard at times but I enjoy it so much that I really don't care.

Update!
I went back to school for a BS in Industrial Design. It's a freakin' pain in the ass a lot of the time but it will serve me well.

Trade, Printing Shirts, Writing, Data Acquisition, Cooking, Marksmanship, Not using a credit card, Going above and beyond the call of friendship, Being oddly where I need to be at exactly the right time to do extraordinary things better known as synchronicity, Industrial Design, Falsifying Research

Not half bad looking, but a little heady (in my own little world) at times.

A) Word Virus: The William Burroughs Reader, Dharma Bums, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Sincerity and Authenticity, Dao De Ching, The Rum Diaries, Holidays on Ice, On the Road, Loaded, Our Dumb World (the Onion Atlas)

B) Rushmore, The Boondock Saints, Dune (the new one), The Fifth Element, Bullworth, What the Bleep Do We Know?, Zeitgeist, Maxed Out, The Corporation, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Dawn of the Dead, Art School Confidential, Serenity, King Corn

B.1) Futurama (all movies and seasons)

B.2) Battlestar Gallactica.....mmmmmm......my sweet sweet crack......yeah, you go Starbuck! No, no watch out, she's a cylon! No, no, wait, sorry, my bad. But wait. OOooohhhhhhhh. I see. She's a collborator. Well then, what a bitch.

-------------------------------------------------­​---------------------------------------- If you haven't seen Zeitgeist, go to www.zeitgeistmovie.com and watch it for free. It is well worth your time even if the message doesn't jell with what you believe. Shit, did I use the word jell? Is that lame? Does anyone else use that term or has it fallen to the wayside of the modern audio lexicon? -------------------------------------------------­​----------------------------------------

C) Magnetic Fields, Belle and Sebastian, Flaming Lips, Postal Service, Go Team, Anything Classical and Anything Jazz, Ladytron, Rufus Wainwright, Neutral Milk Hotel, Devotchka, Lily Allen, Great Hits of the 50's of all sorts, AMFM, The Moldy Peaches, Johnny Cash, Blalock's Indy Rock Playlist

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------While doing this makes me less unique in the world, I feel a certain altruistic, generous spirit possess my person when I tell you here and now that simply stopping by www.blalocksirp.com will change your musical life. It is free, tasteful, and legit. Should you go, see what I am talking about, and want to email me and thank me for passing along this gem, please to do so. I'd love to know.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

D) Pad Thai, Futo Maki, Chicago Pizza, Orange Cranberry Relish, Coconut Curry Corn Chowder, Cherry Limeade, Mashed Potatoes, Pesto (on virtually everything)

D.1) Pita Chips from Oasis dipped in Pesto

D.1.2) Virtually anything dipped in Pesto is delicious.

D.1.3) Favorite alcoholic beverages include Le Fin Du Monde (Unibroue Brewery), Apple Champagne (Faeth Orchards), Aquavit (Northshore Distillery), Templeton Rye (Templeton Distillery), 1664 (Brasseries Kronenbourg), Kriek Lambic (Cantillon)

It recently struck me that perhaps "My integrity, food, water, light, freedom, the ability to trade for personal gain" were a bit too dry for such a website. Thus, the official Urbanbastard response to this one will henceforth be, "my memory foam pillow, friends with cats, Alkaseltzer immune boosters, my bicycle, the Co-op grocery store, a place to stay in the Windy City".

Update!
Things change. The new response to this question is as follows:
1.) Bernard, my cat
2.) Memory foam pillow
3.) Bicycle
4.) T-shirt Press
5.) Mac Computer
6.) Laminated steel short sword (ICOZ*)

*in case of zombies

Quantum Theory and Particle Physics, Money, World Affairs and their economic impact, Religion(s), Teaching.

Industrial Design, which I am currently in school for.

How lucky I am to have the only cat I have ever known to like all the ingredients in a breakfast burrito. We eat them once a week together.

How I am either insane and am accommodated by virtually everyone I meet, or I have finally found the eternal source of chi which I am now able to bend to do my bidding. This cross references with my appreciation for two movies (Art School Confidential and 8 Mile) and my public speaking ability. I am aware that it is my ability to call out my own faults that cements my strengths. However, in tandem, I must perform self-checks to assure myself that I have not crossed over into self-assured/realized dickishness. I like existing within the world and yet understand that you must break away from common moorings in order to self-realize: a tenuous situation when you remember manners.

I have lost my taste for going out drinking. It used to be fun and now it just wastes my time and sullies my precious bodily fluids. I like movies, a lot of movies. Television isn't bad either. I still like to read; however, lately, between Harry Potter and the latest John Grisham "novel", I haven't been terribly enthused about anything in particular. "Not terribly enthused," means I haven't picked up a book in a while for fear I will learn to settle with boy wizards and legal drama. Blah. Sedaris is good, but there is never enough for more than a week.

I grew up reading nonfiction. I loved only nonfiction. I had trouble understanding what redeeming elements my classmates were able to pull from fiction. Why would someone read to get a story when they could read for information?

I am very different from my younger self.

Also, I'm prepared for the Zombie apocalypse to the point that I actually feel sorry for the Zombies. Unless it comes in the form of an air born pathogen, then we're all boned and I feel for no one.

You are more than just a sack of flesh and bones with a machine in front of you.