I am a piece of nerd toast, hearty and robust in flavor yet still maintaining a level of delicate, perhaps sensitive, intricacy, textual and beyond. I believe that a self-summary is beset by the point that ones assumed content of character pales in comparison with the import of ones actions.

I am articulate, kind, and calculating.

I number my role models as falling somewhere between the ethical boundaries and personas of The Doctor (#10) and Gordon Gecko.

As so many folks in Portland can say, "I am in art/design school." Industrial design is in my heart and through my hands I sing its contents everyday. Lately, I have been slightly disenchanted with how many people in my field are so narrowly focused on turning a buck. This I where much suffering, of the "Civilization and It's Discontents" variety comes from. In the interests of turning a buck, more quickly, more frequently, design stumbles from what it could be to simply exist as a peon to the will of the few rather than the savior of many. We see it across the board, in education, in engineered obsolescence, in the socio-economic order, etc. and so on.
I have loftier ambitions. I believe with calculation and attention to detail in the context of the macro-picture, we can achieve something greater. There is energy all around us and within us. All we have to do, is not waste a drop. This is a task easier said than done, when the powers that be feed voraciously on ignorance and waste.
The items I create, both tangible and software-based, look to the common goal of education, unification, and conservation. Sure, I make exceptions. I mean, who doesn't? However, these are the principles that guide me.

Of late: Building and shooting pinhole cameras. Long departed am I from the oatmeal boxes of second grade school projects. Teak wood, satin varnish, brass hardware, and amply spread negatives: these are the things that arouse my passion. Well, these, and a few other activities that sometimes involve custom hardware.

I can fix things really well. When I used to get board, I would sometimes wander around hardware stores, just to see all the different parts and tools that are available for operations I had no idea existed.

Economics, Screen Printing, Writing, Research (yes, I know the Dewey decimal system), Poetry?, Marksmanship, Not using a credit card, Aspiring to be the 13th Doctor (i.e. being oddly where I need to be at exactly the right time to do extraordinary things better known as synchronicity), Proof reading, Relief Printing, Laser Cutting, Mold Making and Casting, Bookbinding, Woodworking, Making people feel better about themselves, Taking Names and Kicking Ass, Photoshop, Photography, Naming things, Questioning "Facts", Bringing out the sexy, kinky, and perhaps ("traditional" values-wise) more vile side of people

Not half bad looking, but a little heady (in my own little world) at times.

A) Word Virus: The William Burroughs Reader, Dharma Bums, Me Talk Pretty One Day, Sincerity and Authenticity, Dao De Ching, The Rum Diaries, Holidays on Ice, On the Road, Loaded, Our Dumb World (the Onion Atlas), Exploring Materials, The Design of Everyday Things, Andy Warhol: Giant Size, Wall and Piece

B) Rushmore, The Boondock Saints, Dune (the new one), The Fifth Element, Bulworth, What the Bleep Do We Know?, Zeitgeist, Maxed Out, The Corporation, The Devil and Daniel Johnston, Art School Confidential, Serenity, King Corn, Hellboy (and especially the second one), History of the Self, eXistenZ, Naked Lunch, Dawn of the Dead, 28 Days (and Months) Later

B.1) Update (ordered by effect):
Thrill:
Doctor Who, Breaking Bad, True Blood, Battlestar Gallactica, Firefly, The Daily Show, Sherlock

Scare:
American Horror Story

Educate:
Mad Men, TED, Planet Earth

Chuckle:
Futurama

Laugh:
Wilfred, South Park, The Venture Brothers

Feel Better:
Jeeves and Wooster

C) Magnetic Fields, Arcade Fire, Vampire Weekend, Death Cab for Cutie, the Raveonettes, Broken Social Scene, Iron & Wine, The Pixies, The Shins, Belle and Sebastian, Flaming Lips, Postal Service, Go! Team, Anything Classical and Anything Jazz (i'm a sucker for evenings at the symphony), Ladytron, Rufus Wainwright, Neutral Milk Hotel, Devotchka, Lily Allen, AMFM, The Moldy Peaches, Dent May and his Magnificent Ukelele, Johnny Cash, Blalock's Indy Rock Playlist

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------While doing this makes me less unique in the world, I feel a certain altruistic, generous spirit possess my person when I tell you here and now that simply stopping by www.blalocksirp.com will change your musical life. It is free, tasteful, and legit. Should you go, see what I am talking about, and want to email me and thank me for passing along this gem, please do. I'd love to know.--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

D) Pad Thai, Futo Maki, Chicago Pizza (Piero's), Orange Cranberry Relish, Green Thai Curry, Coconut Curry Corn Chowder, Cherry Limeade, Mashed Potatoes, Poutine (National food of Canada, look it up), Pesto (on virtually everything)

D.1) Pita Chips dipped in Pesto

D.1.2) Virtually anything dipped in Pesto is delicious.

D.1.3.a) Favorite alcoholic beverages include Le Fin Du Monde (Unibroue Brewery), Apple Champagne (Faeth Orchards), Aquavit (Northshore Distillery), Templeton Rye (Templeton Distillery), 1664 (Brasseries Kronenbourg), Kriek Lambic (Cantillon)

Update:
D.1.3.b) Languinitas IPA, Fearless Scottish Ale, Ninkasi Total Domination IPA

D.1.3.c) Whiskey Ginger

It recently struck me that perhaps "My integrity, food, water, light, freedom, the ability to trade for personal gain" were a bit too dry for such a website. Thus, the official Urbanbastard response to this one will henceforth be, "my memory foam pillow, friends with cats, Alkaseltzer immune boosters, my bicycle, the Co-op grocery store, a place to stay in the Windy City".

Update!
Things change. The new response to this question is as follows:
1.) Bernard, my cat
2.) Memory foam pillow
3.) Bicycle
4.) T-shirt Press
5.) Mac Computer
6.) Laminated steel short sword (ICOZ*)

*in case of zombies

Quantum Theory and Particle Physics, Money, World Affairs and their economic impact, Religion(s), Teaching.

The slow an painful decay of the average American vocabulary.

Industrial Design, which I am currently in school for.

My cat: his thought and feelings.

How I am either insane and am accommodated by virtually everyone I meet, or I have finally found the eternal source of chi which I am now able to bend to do my bidding. This cross references with my appreciation for two movies (Art School Confidential and 8 Mile) and my public speaking ability. I am aware that it is my ability to call out my own faults that cements my strengths. However, in tandem, I must perform self-checks to assure myself that I have not crossed over into self-assured/realized dickishness. I like existing within the world and yet understand that you must break away from common moorings in order to self-realize: a tenuous situation when you remember manners.

Stencils. I have come to the realization that the revolution will not be televised, it will be painted.

I gas up my demolition derby car, don a jean jacket with super awesome confederate flag embroidered on the back, swill a bottle of wild turkey, and set out to do wholesome American things like vote contrary to my financial interests, use the word "fag" in reference to something other than a pile of sticks or a cigarette in England, and ridicule those who have endeavored to better their understanding of the world through education. Or maybe I do the opposite of this.

Update:
Answers now include:
Going on a Warriors themed bar crawl
Sanding a coconut
Lathing a piece of mahogany
Riding my bicycle, naked

I grew up reading nonfiction. I loved only nonfiction. I had trouble understanding what redeeming elements my classmates were able to pull from fiction. Why would someone read to get a story when they could read for information?

I am very different from my younger self.

Also, I'm prepared for the Zombie apocalypse to the point that I actually feel sorry for the Zombies. Unless it comes in the form of an air born pathogen, then we're all boned and I feel for no one.

Also, I may or may not be slightly autistic. No tests were ever done; however, recent (design) research into the topic has yielded pattern similarities coming to light. Then again, this is easily dismissed as research hypochondria.

You are more than just a sack of flesh and bones with an engulfing, luminescent machine in front of you.

You like to build things.

You believe life is an adventure and/or game, and enjoy sharing the road less traveled with company.

You like board games and have a mind for strategy.

You think bikes are awesome and a logical direction as a part of the future of commuter transit solutions.

As you ask a single question, you think of 2 more simultaneously.

You like getting gussied-up and visiting a cultural event of sorts (design open house, opera, symphony, museum night, etc.)

You like to share (and switch).

You have questions.

You have answers.