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23 Oakland, CA Transgender, Non-binary, Agender, Gender Nonconforming, Transfeminine

Transgender, Non-binary, Agender, Gender Nonconforming, Transfeminine

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18-50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:21pm
White, Other
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 7" (1.70m)
Body Type
Not at all
Atheism and laughing about it
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t have kids but might want them
English (Fluently), Russian (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Uriah, here.

Chicago transplant to the Bay looking' to connect with other queers & explore together. Slowly finding my footing in this part of the world. It's been three-ish years…

I'm transgender and my pronouns are the gender-neutral they/them/their, white, Roma/Romani, queer, disabled,

I'm interested in essays and poetry, Twitter and politics, food justice and cooking, activism, community, self-love and care. I'm deeply loyal, quick to open up, surprisingly sensitive, although a bit rough around the edges.

I find a sense of accomplishment and know-how while cooking that contributes quite a bit to my sense of well-being. I consider myself a home cook and a wanna-be chef, but I'm mostly interested in the intersections of food justice, sustainability, access, and the ability of food to both build and nurture community. I'm not a natural caretaker, but I take a deep interest in being able to provide sustenance for those around me. I love food and I love how it can bring people together.

The above makes me sound a lot more woo than I am, but sometimes you gotta ignore that self-doubt and just be real about how certain things make you feel.

I love to read, write, garden, cook, play games and solve puzzles. I debate, a lot, not because I'm interested in academics or abstractions, but because politics and history and society are real things that effect me and the people I'm close to. Sometimes when people disagree with me they act like I think this is all some sort of pissing game where I'm trying to prove how much I know and how right I think I am. It's not. It's life or fucking death for some people and if you think you're edgy or smart or boundary pushing because you don't challenge oppression or white supremacy, you're really not. That shit is supported by hundreds of years of concerted effort. So get out of here with that bull.

I struggle to self-summarize and say what I'm doing because so much of what I'm doing is internal work, building community or other semi-intangible things and our culture teaches us to quantify our lives in really problematic terms. I mostly spend my time being poor, working on a farm, cooking food for and with people, processing with friends, being real with my awesome housemates, always trying to do better and make real and important strides against my internalized racism, sexism, ableism, et cetera, and connect with new people and build my awesome community here in the Bay.

I'm a prison and work abolitionist. Anti-capitalist and honestly surprised you're not, too. Can you really not think of a less coercive system? Are you really that into what we're doing? I'm just not. I'm invested in the eradication of white supremacy and whiteness and toxic masculinity. Totally down to chat (in person) about what that looks like. Dedicated to anti-racist struggles and always looking to show up and do better.

Vaguely identify as transhumanist, but not in a shitty white geek way. I'm disabled and slowly dealing with my internalized shit on that front. Doing away with ableist language is by no means the last oppression I'm attempting to do away with, but it's definitely the latest. I'm queer and non-gendered. Non-monogamous. Kinky. "Leftist radical". Y'know...

Oh, I daydream about living in the woods with people who I love and love me and I totally get that is a super privileged daydream to have.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I came to California to take some time off from school to do some unschooling, relax, meet new people, and do some new and exciting things. Slowly making it happen.

I dropped out from The School of the Art Institute of Chicago. I was getting a BFAW until I decided that I am too poor to go into debt for an art degree. At the time, I was writing poetry, essays and making objects (metal and textiles) and I still have a deep interest in social practice art, mostly along the intersections of health, sustainability, food justice and community. Instead, I decided to come to California with a half-assed idea of doing something new. Mostly, I'm being poor(er) in a different part of the country, but I've started building a community of super accountable, awesome folks that I'm proud to call my friends.

I'm immensely interested in food justice and systems as a way to talk about community and as a form of poverty alleviation and a divestment from capitalist coercion. I'm living in Oakland and I'm working towards finding opportunities where I can help move politics towards a less white supremacist and oppressive place. Currently I'm working on a farm and being a part of that farm-to-table thing. I find this immensely ironic seeing as I spent my childhood waiting to get out of the small farm town I grew up in.

I'm interested in things like social justice, activism, amateur cartography, public transit and urban planning. I'm fascinated by systems and ethical data-driven decisions. I'm interested in how systems, data, planning, et cetera can coincide to both cement supremacies, or be utilized to work to end them.

I like to write about politics, art, culture and critical theory.

I'm non-monogamous and live with one of my partners. I'm always looking for other folks to be fun with/cook with/eat with/chat with/write with/do creative, fun crafty things with. The way I do non-monogamy tends to be different from a lot of folks. I practice nonhierarchical non-monogamy and I find the language we have to describe relationships is at best poorly conceived and at worst, nonexistent. I'm looking for more queers to have ongoing casual-ish relationships with.

Also, I'm eating all the food. Mostly my own, but I also like going out. Mostly for Ethiopian, Thai, Pan-Latin & pho. My diet is a weird mix of past and current dietary restrictions that I've maintained out of laziness or actually caring. No pork or beef unless a friend basically raises and kills it for me, not very many tomatoes or much dairy (except butter/ghee) due to dietary restrictions of a partner I live with. No mushrooms because I'm silly and don't like them, despite my best efforts. No olives because ew, but I totally respect you doing you. No mustard unless it's in a vingarette or if it's very lightly ground fresh mustard seed. That's basically the diet in a nutshell! I also mostly eat food from the farm I work on, avoid eating super processed stuff and generally probably sound a lot more picky/holier-than-thou here than I am. Like I said above, I'm super invested in food justice and the intersections of access, health and poverty and how the choices people make are often not so much a choice as it is forced upon them by society.

Trying to find my kink scene. It takes some time. And effort. Sort of finding it in the pup play community. I forget because I live in such a nonjudgmental household, but an acceptance of kink, non-monogamy, etc is pretty important for me. I'm openly kinky and obviously I take into account people's triggers, but I don't feel shame about my sexuality and I prefer to be able to talk about it in a healthy way with folks I'm close to.

I'm always looking for kick-ass restaurants. I love Thai, Korean, Mexican, Dominican, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Ethiopian, Filipino, French and Southern food. I'm especially missing Dominican and Puerto Rican food after moving to the Bay. I don't know where to find it. I also cook, although slightly less lately than I prefer. I like doing things from scratch and thinking up menus.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking. Writing. Debating. Music. Accountability. Sincerity. Analysis.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have lots of ideas, thoughts and opinions. I care deeply about my friends and my beliefs.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.

Unless of course you're someone who cares, in which case...

Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Lorca, Pablo Neruda, Bukowski, Dostoevsky, Camus, Lorde, Baldwin, Kafka, Cormac McCarthy, Ralph Ellison, Margaret Atwood, Douglas Adams, Sagan, Whitman, Nelson Algren, R. Bakker, W.E.B. Du Bois, Octavia Butler, Ursula K. Le Guin. Lots of bloggers. Most of Black Twitter is a godsend. Lots of critical theory.

The Proposition, The Spook Who Sat By the Door, Beasts of the Southern Wild, The Master, Do the Right Thing, Book of Eli, Taken, Once, Amelie, It's A Wonderful Life, Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, Pulp Fiction, Renaissance, House of D, Sunshine, Children of Men, WALL-E, Big Fish, American Psycho, Pan's Labyrinth, Gangs of New York, Becket, Fanny & Alexander, The Lives of Others, The Proposition, Wind That Shakes The Barley, A Soldier's Story, Papillion, Y Tu Mama Tambien, Master & Commander, Casino Royale, Ratatouille, Toy Story (1 & 3), Dark Crystal, The Iron Giant, Kirkikou et la Sorciere, Batman: Mask of the Phantasm, Wallace & Grommitt: Curse of the Wererabbit, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Triplets of Belleville, Crónicas, Hombre mirando al sudeste, Amores Perros, Survive Style 5+, Anything by Tarkovsky. I think Tarkovsky is the greatest artist of all time.

The Borgias, Mad Men, Breaking Bad (Seasons 1-2), Legend of Korra (Season 1 minus the last episode), West Wing (Seasons 1-4), Louie, Avatar: The Last Airbender, FMA: Brotherhood, Community (Season 2), Legends of Galactic Heroes, Darker Than Black, Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, Motorcity, Young Justice, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Vikings, Borgen.

Electronic, Folk, Bluegrass, Jazz, Blues, Classical, Hip Hop, Soul, R&B, Gospel/Spirituals. I obviously listen to more than this, but these are my mains.

Video Games
Psychonauts, Amnesia, Silent Hill 2, Silent Hill 3, Braid, Machinarium, Skyrim, Jet Set Radio Future, Panzer Dragoon Orta, Shadow of the Colossus, Sly Cooper, KoTOR, KoTOR II, Super Metroid, Team Fortress II, Portal (I & II), Black & White, Civilization V, Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, Windwaker, Majora's Mask, EVE Online, Transcendence (just started), Mark of the Ninja, Dust: An Elysian Tale, La Mulana, GTA V, Devil May Cry (newest), Hotline Miami, Dark Souls, Broken Age.

Thai, Korean, Mexican, Dominican, Cuban, Puerto Rican, Ethiopian, Filipino, classic French cooking and Southern food.
I could probably live off of pad thai and pizza for a very long time.

Theaster Gates, Adrian Piper, Rashid Johnson, Fred Holland, Lee Bontecou, Anselm Kiefer, Mike Kelley, Claude Cahun, Cindy Sherman, Jeff Wall, Christian Marclay, Tarkovsky.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Something to write with/on. Music. Good cooking. Good conversation. Good friends. Good sex.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Politics. Social justice. White supremacy. Toxic masculinity. How cute the chinchilla I live with is. How I struggle to express my feelings. Art and art literacy, how classist the establishment is and how little intentionality matters. Sex. Healthy sex. Divesting my interest in bodies and sex from sexist, racist and objectifying frameworks. Divesting my day to day from systems of white supremacy and patriarchy. Investing in my community. Investing in communities of color. Investing in healthy modes of thought. Technology's place in making the world better for everyone. Urban planning, its strengths, its weaknesses, and its place in racist governmental policy. Public transportation, its strengths, its weaknesses, etc. Science as a system of thought and how far empathy goes and the limits of empiricism. Word salad. All the proceeding words and their relation to word salad. Attempting to not seem academic/classist/racist with the previously written word salad. Failure. Divesting from my problematic expectations for my life and my success. Accepting success as a white, male-read, cis-appearing person is pretty inextricably tied to supremacy. Singularity. Science fiction and how often it's thinly veiled genocide. Data. Data science. Mathematics as a stand-in for "reality" and an aspirational read of my "intellectual capabilities". Food justice/systems. Community. Sincerity. Whether or not I'm presenting myself authentically. How cute everyone is. How cute my butt is. Cats and how I don't understand why I like them after my first one tried to kill me.

ALSO: Being poor. So very poor. Being poor. How poor I am. How little money I have. How I'm on the edge of ruin hahahaha oh god I'm so poor. Being poor with very little chances to get out of poverty. How this relates to whiteness, resentment and how that feeds into racism and classism and the perpetuation of policies that don't help white people but help hold others back even more. Being self-aware about this.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Food is usually involved. Food is almost always involved.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm an Eagle Scout and one of the Pinewood Derby cars I made almost made it to Nationals and they actually made a badge that was modeled after the car that is still given to winners in the region that I was a Boy Scout in. Also, I totally am not into the weird authoritarian, conservative, pseudo-militaristic culture of the Boy Scouts. I just really like camping, wilderness survival and learning lots of skills relating to making/living/homesteading it.

I'm not actually private what-so-ever, so I just viewed this section as an excuse to put something that I've never really told anyone.

Oh, since this has come up recently...
I hate John Waters. I think he's super racist and it makes me really uncomfortable that so many queers like him.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
Take out the if. You should just message me!

I'm Rroma and interested in meeting other Rroma to connect more with the culture and people that I've been pretty estranged from.

I also have a not so secret desire to start doing queer porn, so if you're interested in doing shoots with me or working out any other details or giving me any pointers, shoot me a message.... Also interested in folks for skill shares, hiking and cooking buddies and ongoing play partners.