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35 Denver, CO Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:52pm
6′ 4″ (1.93m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Trying to quit
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sagittarius, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Strictly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend, but I'm a little glowing friend, but really I'm not actually your friend, but I am...

I'm weird, I'm awesome, and I am unapologetically myself.

I'm an ENFJ, and after a bit of research, I realize just how rare that is (roughly 3% of the population, and only 2% of men), among other things...

When I was a kid, I heard someone use the saying, "I put my pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else." I didn't want to be like everyone else, so I've been putting my pants on both legs at a time ever since.

I'm a divergent thinker with an insatiable thirst for knowledge. I am pragmatically quixotic. I love to make people laugh and to find humor in the mundane and the everyday world. I do nice things for people because I like to. I love my friends like family.

If you need a break to laugh at the ridiculous reality of online dating, the Onion and I have your back.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Singing a Johnny Cash-style rendition of REM's "It's the End of the World as We Know It." (yes, really.)

Learning to play and sing the entire Decemberists catalogue with my trusty guitar, one song at a time.

I have aspirations to become a famous German philosopher and poet, but I realize that's a Nietzsche market. (ba dun tiss)

I am in the process of taking over the world. I assure you that my rule will be peaceful and benevolent, and riddled with corny jokes.

I'm in an awesome period of transition from student life to "real life." I just graduated from UCD in December with a degree in music (recording arts, specifically). I just got hired on as the full-time Box Office Manager on campus, and I am positively in love with my job (it totally allowed me to meet DANNY ELFMAN!). I've been a musician for most of my life, and I can play the drums, guitar, bass, and sing (and have been known to do up to three of those things simultaneously).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Lots of things. Ask me.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My nostrils. They're breathtaking.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books -- Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Saffran Foer, The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield, How To Archer by Sterling Archer, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series by Douglas Adams, The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster by Richard Dawkins.

Movies -- The Big Lebowski, Office Space, Ghostbusters, The Sword In The Stone, Beetlejuice, Stop Making Sense, Memento, Spaceballs, Pulp Fiction, Dogma, Ernest Goes to Jail (yes, I went there), Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Lord of The Rings Trilogy, Big Fish, Almost Famous, Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and so on.

Shows -- I don't watch a ton of TV, but I do enjoy Futurama, Archer, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report (RIP), ATHF, Mythbusters, Whose Line Is It Anyway?, Arrested Development, Top Gear UK (as if the US one was ever a candidate), South Park, Parks and Rec, and a few others.

Music? In no particular order - Radio Moscow, Beck, Lana Del Rey, Blind Pilot, The Shins, The Decemberists, Talking Heads, Peter Gabriel, RHCP, Alt-J, The Avett Brothers, Smashing Pumpkins, Broken Bells, Noah and the Whale, Rene Marie, David Bowie, TV on the Radio, Queen, Of Monsters And Men, New Mastersounds, STRFKR, Jane's Addiction, Ray Lamontagne, Jurassic 5, Miles Davis, Chemical Brothers, Florence + The Machine, Beastie Boys, Chromeo, Jose Gonzalez, Spoon, Van Morrison, Gorillaz, Stanton Moore, Wilco, Herbie Hancock, Sublime, The Black Keys, The New Pornographers, Breakestra, Tom Petty, Blackalicious, Boards of Canada, Nina Simone, Zero7, Dire Straits, The Beta Band, Thievery Corporation, The Xx, Paul Simon, Jamiroquai, Tool, Sia Furler, Band of Horses, and many, many more.

I have musical man-crushes on Dave Grohl, David Byrne, Peter Gabriel, Beck, and Paul Simon.

I don't really like black metal, modern country, or dubstep.

Food -- I like pretty much all kinds of food, with the exception of seafood (gasp, a Denverite that didn't list sushi here!). I didn't eat it much when I was growing up, and never really developed a taste for it. Favorites include Mexican, Italian, Indian, Mediterranean/Middle Eastern, and bacon cheeseburgers with green chile cheese fries.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My amazing family and friends
My animals
My drum set
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
-The song "Hotel California" is basically a bad Yelp review and a 3 minute guitar solo.

- Why there are dudes showing up in my match feed, and why they're all such low match/high enemy %. Do I really have that little in common with the competition?

- What do you mean I am "less wholesome," OkCupid?! Who the hell decides that?!

- Two cannibals are eating a clown. One turns to the other and says, "Does this taste funny to you?"

- When people ask me where I see myself in 5 years, I tell them that I don't have 2020 vision.

- They should include prizes inside boxes of tampons. "Hey, I know your period is here, but here's $2 off some ice cream."

- Why there is braille on the drive-up ATM.

- Who that "seeing eye dogs permitted in this building" sign is for.

- If a tree falls in the woods and no one is there to hear it, will a hipster buy the soundtrack to it?

- How the phrase "tubing the Poudre" totally sounds like an innuendo.

- Why doesn't Channing Tatum use some of his money to buy a first name?

- If tomatoes are fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?

- Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?

Also, tacos.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
the shover robot. I am here to protect you.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If I had a dollar for every time I had no idea what was going on, I would be asking people why they were handing me dollars.

I was addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers, but I was finally able to quit cold turkey.

I also used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but I turned myself around.

I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.

I programmed my GPS to navigate me in Bonnie Tyler's voice. It keeps telling me to turn around, and every now and then it falls apart.

I was saying "Booo-urns."

Also, whenever I sing falsetto, I automatically do jazz hands
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.'re an "all-in" type of person when it comes to dating, because you're unable to do it any other way.'re looking forward to being Left Shark for Halloween this year. would enroll in a dance class just so you could ask the instructor to teach you how to Dougie.'re my 100% enemy. Let's fight to the death. think that "horse tornado" is a great term for a carousel. make up ridiculous songs and sing them to your pets agree that baby ocelots should be called ocelittles. think that a good relationship should resemble Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros' "Home"
or Van Morrison's "Crazy Love."
( have found a better cover/remake of a forgotten 90s hip hop tune than this.

...just do it. My inbox gets lonely, and I can be shy sometimes.