1) Vinnie Pescado is not my real name.
2) I was born in a major city just a couple of miles North of
3) I can perform the sideshow stunt known as "The Human
4) I have a minor in Philosophy, but sadly remember very little of
5) I once made a telemarketer cry . . . and felt really bad about
6) I find both intelligence and kindness very attractive.
7) I have been known to fly to central Europe for lunch (It can be
done over a weekend without missing work on Friday or Monday). More
recently I have gone to Australia a couple of times for brunch
(again, without having to miss work on Friday or Monday). This year
has been Singapore, but it requires a vacation day.
8) I convinced my surgeon to let me keep the leftover parts from my
vasectomy (a short section of each vas was removed). I have two
small plastic jars: one labeled 'L' and the other labeled
9) I have operated (albeit briefly) a San Francisco Cable
10) Due to a small misunderstanding I once went on a five day
nudist rafting trip with a bunch of Mormons (technically one had
been excommunicated). I thought "clothing-optional" meant that
there would be some skinny-dipping hippies. Who knew? Live and
11) I am a licensed locksmith. I also have a California Assault
Weapons permit. Combine these with my occasional involvement in
pyro and my peculiar travel habits and you'll understand why my
brother once described me as a B movie waiting to happen. :P
12) I once snorted the ashes of a dead guy off of a cute girl's
13) My Erdős number is 2 - So I got me some geek cred.
14) Sometimes, when I am alone in an elevator, I will walk in a
circle, because it pleases me to know that I am transcribing a
I've decided that it might be fun to include a list of absolute
lies about myself as well. Not only do I expect this to be
entertaining, but I expect that it will prove to be a useful
indicator of reading comprehension. So the list that follows -
1) One summer when I was in college, I worked on a ship in the Gulf
of Mexico as a dowser for a major oil company. I would use a
dowsing stick to locate promising sites to drill. Apparently, I was
quite good at it.
2) I was born with a tail. It was removed when I was 8 months old.
Ever since I found out about this as a little kid, I was *pissed*
at my parents for not arranging to let us keep in in a jar of