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30 Collingwood, Ontario, CA Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Pangender, Non-binary, Woman

Genderqueer, Genderfluid, Pangender, Non-binary, Woman

You might like

I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25–50
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
May 21
Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer, Sapiosexual
5′ 3″ (1.60m)
Body type
Full figured
Strictly other
Other, and somewhat serious about it
Aries, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of two-year college
Rather not say
Seeing Someone
Strictly non-monogamous
Has a kid, and might want more
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), Spanish (Poorly), Other (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"I am fiery energy frozen for the moment in flesh, burning in my own ways...''

I could be summed up as Bi/Pansexual, Solo-Poly, Eclectic Pagan/UU, Occasionally Gothy, Randomly Geeky, a Singer-Writer & a Parent. By the way, *I bite* and I like it when others bite me back. If any of these thing are deal breakers, good luck on your search. If you want more details (maybe even too many), keep reading...

So yeah, I'm bisexual - or more accurately pansexual - and polyamorous. I'm almost always dating more than one person to one degree or another. I insist on being very open about my life - even my close family members know. I've discovered this is just the way I'm wired. I don't even attempt to do monogamy any more. I don't believe one person should or could be my "everything" because that puts more pressure on a relationship than is reasonable and we are all flawed human beings who don't magically fit together like puzzle pieces. I'm an Ethical Slut (see test results tab).
I've also started to say I'm 'solo-poly' because I want intimate committed relationships, but I'm not so focussed on co-habiting or otherwise enmeshing my life with anyone else. I *won't* do the hierarchical or couple-focussed relationships popularly portrayed in the media, where there are "Primary" and "Secondary" roles handed out and everyone follows strict rules about who they can date/kiss/etc. (*Ick*)
I have a few people I'm currently involved with - some casual, some very serious - including my amazing (currently long-distance) girlfriend of 6 years, a (married) boyfriend of over 4 years (also long distance), and a new someone (who is sadly moving away soon), plus a few long standing friend/lovers. Everyone knows about everyone else and that's how things have to be in my world.
I'm on a few different poly/dating sites and generally open to finding more people to connect with, on the theory that you can never have too much love in your life, but not seriously looking. I also run some online poly groups on FB & FL for the Toronto and Ontario communities, including a monthly list of poly events in Ontario.

I read. Everything. A lot. Always have. I rarely leave the house without a book or at least a newspaper. I'm fascinated with everything from novels with a sci-fi/fantasy or vampire theme, to psychology, religion, mythology and more... I'm addicted to the written word! You'll probably find me geeking out equally over stuff like Human Rights/Feminism/Queer theory and "classic geekery" like Star Trek, LOTR & comic books. I'm also a fan of gaming in the form of LARPing, table-top RPGs, card/board games and the occasional video game.

I'm Pagan. I study as much as I can (but less than I'd like) about ancient religions and I tend to take bits from different traditions/cultures as I go along. I believe in karma, reincarnation, spiritual energy, archetypal consciousness, and plenty of other things that are outside the mainstream... I often do energy work with chakras and kundalini energy, which really mostly consists of a mixture of body awareness and intuitive massage/pressure points. I honour many Gods and Goddesses with a focus on Graeco-Roman, Norse, and Celtic myths and culture. I also like the Unitarian-Universalist perspective of personal spiritual construction and I miss the congregation I used to attend. I like having partners that either share my beliefs or have strong convictions that mesh with my own (or at least don't disrespect them).

Such is who I am. If you get to know me, many interesting things might happen...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I had a baby in early 2013, so I'm mostly doing the New Mommy Thing right now. No, I'm not working and I don't know what, when, or if I will be doing anything in the future in regards to the "working world". I have enough of an income to get by on and I really don't care about money in any other capacity, my own or other people's.

I live with family for now because it make sense, so I end up doing a lot of "family" things like swimming, camping, going to parks or taking random road trips. I do most of the food shopping and cooking for the household too which I actually really enjoy. When I do get out on my own, I love browsing second hand stores and yard sales for interesting books, clothing, or other unique items.

My girlfriend and most of my other friends & partners are down in the GTA. I love going see them as much as I can and I really miss living there. I used to attend a lot of public events in various subcultures when I lived in the city. Unfortunately there are fewer events and fewer Pagans, Geeks, and poly/queer/kinky people near me now and it's hard for me to travel to events. I do try to go camping at one or two Pagan festivals every Summer though and I'm trying to find/organize local meet-ups and events to keep myself busy/sane.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
...Singing. My own songs, karaoke, pagan chants, random tunes while walking down the street - whatever pops into my head... I play a *little* bit of guitar - mainly I learned to try to transcribe my own songs. I'd rather sing karaoke than drink at a bar - it's a better rush for me (and it's hard to sing well while drunk). I really want to start a Pagan/Goth rock/jazz band if I can ever get the right people together.

...Artistic stuff. I'm perpetually writing - novels (in progress), opinion pieces, short stories, poetry, and lately a lot of original lyrics and song filks... Been working on a concept for a while based on Celtic Mythology that would do well in graphic novel format (a.k.a. comics). Any artists out there who might want to collaborate? I've been known to sketch or paint when the mood strikes me but not quite well enough for some of the images I want to create. I'm into a bit of photography too and I'm generally on the creative side all around.

...Listening. I'm a healer by nature, or so I've been told; a counsellor even. I tend to be a good shoulder to cry on for all my friends so if you want someone to talk to, I'm your girl. I also have an over-exaggerated urge to help people which may be why I've studied in the feminist social work field. I believe conversation and communication are the keys to human understanding. Touch is a close second and I'm told I give pretty good massages too. ;-)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My hat maybe? I'm often wearing a black felt fedora or some other chapeau. Otherwise, I can look pretty different from day-to-day and place-to-place, adapting to my mood or destination. (See my pics...) I usually stand out wherever I happen to be since I prefer gothy outfits and/or other eclectic fashions.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This turned into a giant wall of text when I tried to mention *all* my favourite things, so I'll try to narrow it down to only a few...

I have Celiac so everything I eat needs to be gluten-free. Since many restaurants are hit and miss that way, I do a lot of my own cooking. I occasionally bake Gluten-free peanut butter/chocolate chip cookies or yummy banana bread muffins. I like to mix-up my own Cinnamon-Mocha coffee in the mornings or relax with a Moroccan Mint herbal tea; I like anything mint &/or chocolate actually.
For breakfast, I love spinach & feta omelets or banana-walnut pancakes. My favourite dinner is home-made shepherd's pie; the original recipe was my Nana's but I've come up with several variations over the years in including a sweet and spicy version using lamb & yams. Other meals I often make include rice pasta with thick meat sauce, salmon with a maple-soy glaze, egg fried rice, sweet potato fries, and various Indian-inspired curries.
Restaurant-wise, I like Thai and Indian since they quite often have more gluten-free options. Some diners and big chains serve a handful of items I can eat if I don't mind paying more or eating less. In a pinch, I'll indulge in a Wendy's salad, baked potato &/or chilli since they're one of the few fast food places with decent healthy options.

As a short-hand, assume if it's geeky, dark, musical, &/or weird, I'll like it. I was actually once a background actor in a movie that hits most of those marks called SUCK:
Some other notable faves include Repo The Genetic Opera, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Sweeney Todd, Moulin Rouge, Cabaret, Chicago, The Blues Brothers, Robin Hood: Men in Tights, Clerks, When Harry Met Sally, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, Evil Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Fight Club, Kinsey, Shortbus, Interview with the Vampire, The Craft, Ginger Snaps, V for Vendetta, Coraline, The Nightmare Before Christmas, Labyrinth, The Princess Bride, Serenity, The Fifth Element, and anything Star Trek or Monty Python.

I read mostly fiction, particularly books that fall into the now-rarely-used genre of "Speculative Fiction". This would include all manner of Science Fiction & Fantasy, as well as Vampire novels and other forms of Gothic fiction and many varieties of Graphic Novel/Comic Books.
My faves range from classics such as H. P. Lovecraft & J.R.R. Tolkien, through big names like Robert Heinlein, Anne Rice, Marion Zimmer Bradley, Douglas Adams, Mercedes Lackey, & Anne McCaffrey, to the lesser known(?) like Charles de Lint, Tanya Huff, Laurell K. Hamilton, Diana Gabaldon, & Peter David, and modern giants like J.K. Rowling, Terry Pratchett, Neil Gaiman, Alan Moore & Joss Whedon. Also, anything Star Trek.
I also read some more conventional literature (mysteries, historical fiction, best sellers) if the plot or other subject matter speaks to me, as well as some non-fiction, mostly in the areas of Politics, Human Rights/Feminism, Anthropology, Poetic Philosophy, World Mythology, Pagan books, and Parenting. Some I'll recommend include:
Christopher Ryan, Ph.D. & Cacilda Jethá, M.D. - Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality
Barbara Coloroso - Kids Are Worth It: Giving Your Child The Gift Of Inner Discipline
Naomi Klein - No Logo
Khalil Gibran - The Prophet; The Earth Gods
Christopher Penczak - City Magick

Quirky comedy, deep lyrics, awesome vocals, and something I can sing/dance along with are what I like best.
Stage musicals are great. Andrew Lloyd Webber's Phantom of the Opera starring Colm Wilkinson was the first big show I saw and I eventually memorized every note of the cast album. i don't get to see as many how as I'd like though.
I especially love classic jazz and blues like Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald, Etta James, Billie Holiday, and Sarah Vaughan, and modern jazzy vocalists like Diana Krall and Adele are awesome too.
I enjoy a wide smattering of rock from many eras and sub-genres, including The Beatles, The Mamas & the Papas, Alice Cooper, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Aerosmith, AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Queen, Guns N' Roses, Bon Jovi, Heart, Garbage, Nirvana, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Green Day, Marilyn Manson, Disturbed, Rammstein...
My favourite musical era might be the 80s, especially Cyndi Lauper, David Bowie, Pat Benatar, Depeche Mode, Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Cure, The Smiths; anything New Wave or Goth.
Other more modern faves of mine include Barenaked Ladies (especially when Steven Page was still involved), and many awesome singing ladies like Jewel, Pink, Tegan and Sara, Enya, Loreena McKennitt, Bif Naked, Melissa Etheridge, Sarah McLachlan, and Sheryl Crow.
You'll also impress me if you listen to any of the following: The Wet Spots, Voltaire, Jonathan Coulton, Eben Brooks, The Arrogant Worms, Moxy Früvous, Lisa Patterson, Inkubus Sukkubus, Melanie Doane, Shibaten, Cherry Poppin' Daddies, Eartha Kitt, Lee Aaron, Lords of Acid, Nightwish. More people know the Doctor Demento fave "Weird Al" Yankovic, but he's pretty awesome too.
I also love live music, from bar bands to big concerts (when I can afford it). I grew up going to music festivals and other gigs with my musician father. Some of my absolute favourite artists are friends or family friends; I won't mention them all though.

Ok, this is just impossible to keep current or prevent the wall of text, but shows I've been addicted to (past and present), own seasons of, &/or that I'm willing to watch over and over include:
* Science-fiction shows - Doctor Who (mostly the new stuff), Torchwood, Firefly, Star Trek (all eras), Earth: Final Conflict, Stargate, Farscape, Sliders, Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, Lexx, Heroes, Quantum Leap, The X-Files.
* Supernatural shows - Being Human (the British version), Blood Ties, True Blood, Lost Girl, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Forever Knight, Hercules, Xena, Highlander, Dead Like Me, Early Edition, Being Erica [I was an extra in S1E12 of this too].
* Crime & Legal dramas - Dexter, Murdoch Mysteries, Monk, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, Law & Order, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, Law & Order: Criminal Intent, Law and Order UK, Ally McBeal, The Practice, Boston Legal, Drop Dead Diva (which has some supernatural elements too), Veronica Mars.
* "Sexy" Dramas - Big Love, The L Word, Queer as Folk, Metropia, Californication, Orange is the New Black, Weeds, Sex and the City, Secret Diary of a Call Girl.
* Other random dramas - Boston Public, House, Rome
* British comedy - Blackadder, Mr. Bean, Monty Python's Flying Circus.
* Satirical News - Rick Mercer Report, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report.
* Animated comedies - The Simpsons, American Dad, Family Guy, Clerks: The Animated Series, Daria, Futurama, Tripping the Rift, Undergrads.
* Old nostalgic kids shows - The Muppet Show, Fraggle Rock, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Sailor Moon, Saved By The Bell, Rocky & Bullwinkle, Tales from the Crypt.
* Some Sitcoms - How I Met Your Mother, Community, The Big Bang Theory, Little Mosque on the Prairie, Dharma & Greg, That '70s Show, Arrested Development.
* Older comedies - M*A*S*H, Mork & Mindy, Three's Company, Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
- Love, freely given without restrictions by like-minded lovers
- Family, both of birth and of choice
- Friends, to keep me sane
- Good food; preferably home-made, must be gluten-free
- Books/newspapers/internet - something to read!
- Sleep, with lots of intense dreams to inspire my creative urges
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, The Universe, and Everything... Well, it seems that way sometimes when my brain doesn't want to go to sleep.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
...wishing I was out having fun, lol... Since I have a little one now I stay home more nights than not, but when I do go out, here's my idea of a great night or evening (not necessarily a Friday):

...going out for dinner - maybe something Indian or Thai...
...seeing a movie - preferably a (good) sci-fi flick or something independent/weird...
...playing pool (even though I'm no good at it)...
...singing karaoke (which I *am* good at)...
...scaring normal people on the TTC (if we're in the city)...
...hitting the (preferably Goth) clubs and dancing all night...
...sitting in a coffee shop all-night chatting and playing cards/boardgames...
...wandering around the city or through a park with a camera... the swings at a deserted playground and seeing how high we can go...
...watching a thunder storm from *just* inside a shelter...
...spending all night talking somewhere until the sun comes up...

I'm also trying to organize a Collingwood Coffee Meet-up for the "interesting" people on FL. Look it up if you're on that site. ;-D
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have a lot of social anxiety issues I'm working through. I probably won't be the first to make contact, so please take the initiative if you're interested.

And I apologise in advance: I honestly suck at replying to emails in a timely manner. If you make the effort to write an intelligent paragraph or two though and we seem to have a bit in common, I will try to reply.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are at least some of the following:

* Local to the Collingwood area or possibly Toronto/Barrie. (I don't drive but I do travel there occasionally.)

* Not jealous. Honest & willing to talk about complex relationship stuff. Poly relationships can be more complicated than some people expect. You must share well with others to be in my life.

* Creative &/or intelligent with some shared interests. In other words, if you're GEEKY!

* Pagan or on a liberal spiritual path. UU? Buddhism? Cheerful irreverence? Accepting atheists and agnostics also allowed to apply. ;-p

* Musically-inclined or at least into good music. Willing to come watch me sing karaoke and maybe join in. Can an amazing singing voice be a fetish, er, "interest"? If so, I'll add it to my list...

* Weird! Rocking the "Geeky Look" in glasses and/or something off-beat can be totally hot and I love fun/interesting hair styles! I also have an incredible weakness for long-haired men, especially in kilts... Or cute girls in short skirts/kilts... Or anyone in tight pants for that matter. Black eye-liner, leather, velvet, vinyl, fishnet, piercings, & tattoos all tend to catch my eye too.

I'm NOT interested in meeting people via random/cold messages for casual play, random hook-ups, one night stands, or "No Strings Attached" friends-with-benefits arrangements. I'm all for my friends having benefits, but there should be more to a "friendship" than that. Politeness is encouraged.

If you want to contact me:
- Write me something to show you've actually read my profile.
- Let me know what we have in common. Ask interesting questions.
- Give me a reason to want to get to know you. ;-)