I'm a doctor... not like an actual real doctor, but more of a manager at Lowes type of doctor... But with only an associates degree... You get it. Most people would call me a hero, but only because I'm really good looking. I'm super rich if you don't factor in financial success. I'm definitely modest and shy. My favorite food is humble 3.14159... And if you don't get/like that joke just stop reading now. My favorite saying is "don't take life too seriously, you'll never get out alive." My favorite person who said that quote is me.
What I’m doing with my life
Waiting to hear back on my audition tape for America's Next Top Model. Until then, I've enjoyed working at Lowes as a manager. To be honest, I really do enjoy working in home improvement. My life is pretty much exactly like Tim Allen's. We're both very handsome, work in home improvement, and have a neighbor.
I’m really good at
I will tell you what I am NOT good at... Fucking Sudoku. Sudoku is just some asshats way of telling 'not-smart" kids that they'll be reliant on calculators for the rest of their lives.
Things I AM good at that may apply here: Cooking, Making people laugh, being adorable-ish, killing spiders, getting things off the top shelf, opening jars, remembering that you didn't put your keys in your purse because they are actually on the table, finding the car in the parking lot, doing laundry, random household maintenance, holding the door for others, and not holding back tears at the end of Marley and Me... yeah, it gets me and I'm sorry I'm not sorry.
The first things people usually notice about me
People tell me that I look exactly like Ryan Gosling... if he were to play Sloth from the Goonies.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite Movies include: Warrior, Remember the Titans, Gladiator, Wedding Crashers, and many many more! I love movies.
Favorite music: Drake needs Jesus! I'm glad Tony Romo dislocated his shoulder twice in one year... He dumped Carrie Underwood... Are you fucking serious????
Favorite TV Shows: Dexter, Modern Family, How I Met Your Mother, Big Bang Theory, Brooklyn 99, GoT, Suits and Burn Notice.
The six things I could never do without
1. My good looks
3. A Good Beer
4. My Motorcycle
5. My hatred for the Ohio State Fuckeyes
6. Taylor Swift... Bet you didn't expect that!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
What my miss America speech and talent would be if they let me compete... Sexist assholes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Curing cancer... Not the disease, the zodiac sign.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
When Ohio State plays USC, I root for ISIS. I wouldn't support OSU if they were playing the Nazi's.
You should message me if
Let's be honest, this online stuff is inherently weird. I hope you were at least able to laugh a little and diffuse the awkwardness. You don't have to message me, just know going forward in life that you deserve to be happier than someone who couldn't find the humor in this profile.