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28 M Venice, CA

My Details

Last Online
Today – 10:23pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Used up
Mostly anything
Very often
Atheism, and laughing about it
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Dropped out of space camp
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Has dogs

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My self-summary
"And then a buffalo will stare stupidly into your soul while slowly chewing grass and softly farting."

I bring a certain amount of sarcasm to the table, you may bring popcorn.

If I fill this out how I originally planned it would allegedly come off as "strange" and "standoffish" (actual words used with what I had up here previously), if I don't write anything I am "bland" and "lacking depth" (which also was said when I took it all down and left up the words "I like pop tarts and stuff").

Neither received positive results, so back to the drawing board I go.

I hail from Venice Beach California, you most likely have heard of it, been to it, or seen it on TV or a movie, but these days I'd prefer it if most hadn't . Gentrification greatly bothers me. There are few things worse in my mind then seeing a house where your friend and her mother use to live rented out to a bunch of prius driving shmucks, your local bakery which used to crank out fresh bread daily turned in to a condo/yoga gym/ vegan restaurant, or your post office being sold to a Movie Producer for his new base of operations (Yes I'm talking about YOU Joel Silver you conceited, no necked fuck ). In other words, I hate hipsters and chances are I probably hate you.

Additionally, I am fairly certain "YOLO" is "Carpe Diem" for stupid people, and if you think you have "Swag" promptly go walk in to oncoming traffic until that delusion has been broken by the cold, hard reality of a sedan hitting your dumb ass.

No one should ever.. and I mean EVER wear a Trilby hat, Trilby's are incorrectly identified these days as a fedora, first off that is not a fedora. Warren Beatty wore a fedora in both "Bonnie & Clyde" AND "Dick Tracy", Humphrey Bogart wore a Fedora in "Casablanca", Harrison Ford wore a wide brim Fedora in Indiana Jones. A Trilby is not a fucking Fedora. To those who wear trilby's? Don't, seriously. I don't care who you are, what you look like what age you are... no, no no no no no no no no no no no no noooooooo.

Moving on

At this point you're probably thinking "Gee, what a happy little ray of sunshine this guy is." I'll admit I come off as a bit jaded but I am certain I have a soft, lovable care bear spot somewhere in my cranky, crass crust. I just have a very very low tolerance for most groups of people. At one point I truly thought I might be an introvert, but then I realized I am fully capable of engaging in conversation with random strangers, it's just most people make it very unappealing to do so.

I do however LIKE things.. and I will list some of those things just so you know I am not the human manifestation of Oscar the Grouch (although I do admire a Muppet with such conviction)

I enjoy various activities, some you may have heard of or maybe even partake in, some you have not. Some you would find entertaining yourself (like reading or going on hikes with my dogs or just kicking it on the hill on the boardwalk on a sunny day with a beer), others that would make you cringe and say "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?" (like dumpster diving for random cool things that people stupidly throw away and bombing large hills with nearly vertical slopes on my skateboard or hitting the snake run while drunk at midnight.) See? Diversity.. gotta have it.

I see a lot of women on here claiming to either BE nerds or ARE nerds and say they LOVE nerds.

I am NOT a nerd. And I cannot classify myself as one.

I have nerd like interests, For example I have a large and extensive (albeit useless) vault of knowledge about Comics, mainly Marvel and their plot lines... don't even get me STARTED on X-Men or Deadpool as I will go on a rant. I also have a strong fondness for the Muppets, Jim Henson in general and ALMOST anything Disney in terms of Animation and the history of the theme parks and good ole Walt himself. But that hardly makes me or ANYONE with my shared interests a nerd. One of my biggest pet peeves are women who claim to be nerds when they are clearly not and /or women who claim to "love" nerds when what they really mean is they like good looking guys in thick rimmed glasses and an ironic T-shirt.

If you happen to actually BE a nerd.. I frankly don't care one way or the other, your personality and attitude is what will attract me and not specifically how you have a fondness of dressing up like Princess Toadstool or what strange obsessions with Battlestar Galactica you may or may not have. Being nerdy or not being nerdy is not a deal breaker any which way for me.

So just to clarify

I am NOT a "dork", a "nerd" or a "geek" and neither are about 94% of the people who claim to be. But I don't mind if you are and can partake in nerdy activities with a healthy dose of enthusiasm.

I enjoy going to shows/concerts/gigs or whatever you cool kids call them these days. Punk and Ska is my shit for sure. Lets go to a show together if you are down.

I am easily amused with small knick knacks and doo dads and perfectly content with wandering around toy shops and hardware stores, flea markets and yard sales. I detest going to malls and shopping for clothes, or shoes because quite frankly I find that shit boring, expensive and I haven't a lick of sense when it comes to shopping in what one would call a proper setting nor do I have any taste in what is called "style".

I love whiskey, I love beer, I love brewing beer and learning how to make corn whiskey. (shhhhh).

Well, there is my self summary, I hope it wasn't too arrogant or self promoting but hey... it's hard to talk about yourself and NOT come off as a conceited jerk.

There is obviously more I could put here, but I think it better just to ask me if you truly give a shit... but I am not putting any more here for all to see and who then try and relate me to Holden Caulfield when I do so.

I fancy myself a swashbuckler Cyrano De Bergerac type anyways, Maybe even a Spider Jerusalem.
What I’m doing with my life
At the moment? I am a dog trainer for my own company, DogTown Dawgs.. I have been called the Punk Rock Dog Whisperer more times then I can count which kind of pisses me off since I think Ceasar is a chump with far too big of an ego and tries to pass off the idea you can fix a dog and all his/her issues in an hour long TV session... plus I just don't like him as a person.

I am a dog trainer because ages ago I wanted to be a vet and even worked as a Tech (for the most badass doctor EVER, Dr. Deborah Oliver ) and thought behaviorism could be a stepping stone to get in to vet med...

The reality? I just don't have the time or the grades in the mathematics department to meet that goal. Still, I am damn good at my job and get the results desired as long as the owner is willing to listen and work with their pup.

But I am getting bored with this... it's not what I want to do forever.

Friends and I have started a project that focuses on alternative modes of entertainment. It started off as a coffee table book about punk rock on the west side of L.A. from the early 80's to the mid 90's, but then due to various factors we decided to expand it to many different avenues and change it from a book to a bi-monthly magazine. We want to create a means to showcase not just punk music, but all the genres that have taken a backseat to prog rock, electronica, pop and rap/hip hop.

Ska, Blues, Jazz, Metal, Funk etc etc.... if it makes our feet move we want to cover it. We also want to include artists who are making different forms of inspiration, painters, graffiti artists, sculptors, welders and so forth. Additionally we want to give attention to various types of alternative sports. Boogie Boarding, downhill skate boarding, Roller Derby, Parkour (urban freeflow), shit that makes your blood pump just watching it.

Overall, we want to make a magazine that shines the light on people who are doing something different and make this world a bit more rad.

And that is what I am doing when not working, writing and finding source material for our magazine.

I live alone (with my two dogs and my mentally handicapped red eared slider turtle), I have an operating car that was built in the past decade, and and I am not a momma's boy. (Something which seems to be in demand I have noticed on many profiles is the previous list, just figured I would put it out there so there is no confusion.)
I’m really good at
I am told I write very well and convey anger and emotion to paper in it's proper context... I am pretty damn good at drunken shenanigans and having mindless fun regardless of budget.

Fuck if I know, they all could have been lying to me anyway.
The first things people usually notice about me
Generally my hair, it's kinda hard to miss due to it's assortment of colors at any given time that are not normally found growing from a humans scalp, not to mention the haircut (spikes and Mohawks tend to grab peoples attention, who knew?).

But from what I have been told, when spoken to or even when provoked my personality tends to stand out and seems to be abrasive just because of how I deal with certain issues and people and even authoritative figures abusing their power.
I get fucking pissed when I see cops harassing the homeless or high school kids for no reason. As such I get in to a lot of verbal and legal spats with Pacific Division Police because of my vocal view points.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
This is such an asshole question because it would take me a while to sit down and actually list off all the things I enjoy like a pretentious douchebag.

So here are some pickins of things in the media world I personally find nifty.

I love punk rock (Suicidal Tendencies, G.B.H, X-ray Spex) and ska (Aquabats, The Toasters, Undercover S.K.A.), Doo wop (The Penguins, The Five Keys, The Drifters) and blues ( Etta James, Otis Redding, Muddy Waters)

I love cult films and obscure and rare movies of ALL kinds both family and of questionable taste (Gummo, Crybaby , Rocky Horror Picture Show, Thrashin, The People Under the stairs, TOYS, Song of the South, Little Monsters).

I love political literature and informative novels and standard kids books. (Ghetto Nation, A Confederacy of Dunces, To kill a Mockingbird, Goosebumps, Pig Will and Pig Wont, The Very Hungry Caterpillar)

I like shows from all parts of the past 30 years both currant and past for both kids AND adults (The Banana Splits Hour, MASH, Peewees playhouse, Small wonder, Reboot, Married with children, Fosters home for Imaginary Friends, Scrubs, Sons of Anarchy, Dr.Who, The Amazing world of Gumball, Wilfred)
You know... shit that amuses me.

For food?
I can and will eat virtually anything with the exception of brussel sprouts, Lobster, squid and Beets.

However some of my favorite foods consist of sushi (cliche yes but I do like fish and fish dishes including the ever popular choice that is sushi), Gyros, Dolmas and damn good country cookin when you can actually find some, which out here in Los Angeles is almost never.
The six things I could never do without
Lets face it.. we all could go without quite a lot... Most of the shit we own can be (and will be) eventually replaced.
And while I do NEED my phone in terms of work, I could live without it.

The things I could never do without are not things but beings... living entities.

My pups for instance, Dropkick Murphy and Flogging Molly.

I have lived out of my car before due to not being able to find a place that would accept my dogs even though my pups are better behaved then most tenants. If they don't ride.. I don't ride. Ya dig? You also may be wondering why I have no photos up of my dogs. For the same reason no one with children has photos up of their kids on this site.. you people are creepy.

I could be cliche and say "my friends and family", and it's true.. I need those fuckers, buuuuut truth be told as much as I adore my family and all their wonky ass behavior and love my friends who are even MORE wonky in their behavior, I at times need to just get the fuck away from all of them and alienate in my house for 3 days at a time unless I go to work, during this alone time I take full advantage of walking around bare ass naked.

I could never do without privacy

I'll throw air and water in here just for common sense.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why the hell I thought joining this site was a smart move for my dating life. It really hasn't been. I joined in hopes of meeting someone close enough to my area I could get to know, but not SO close that everyone I know already knows who they are. In this town word travels fast and there is more gossip then a sewing circle.

Something I have noticed on many profiles on this site is women stating to talk to them if "you are not a creep" "have something to say" or "if you want to".

Talk about a bunch of lazy chicks... You're on a dating site, can't you be a tad more specific as to what or who you want to contact you?

And most of you women never even reply anyhow judging by the "replies selectively" or "replies rarely" banner on the upper right part of the screen. Great statistics, gives guys the moxie to even bother trying.

Also, why is it that every other woman on this site is in school to be a cosmetologist/hairstylist , want's to be a cosmetologist/hairstylist, or IS a cosmetologist/hairstylist?

It's a comforting thought to know that while I wont get my mail on time even if it was sent from 5 miles away or if I need to wait in the DMV line for 4 hours because they only have one person manning 7 stations, I can at any time get a facial and a perm with little to no wait due to the large number of alleged future and currant cosmetologists/hairstylists in the Greater Los Angeles, SFV and Orange County Area.

Thanks ladies, I'll take that manicure now.


things I think about when not on this stupid site

The Grand scheme of things including (but not limited to) Life, time, history, the universe (all that BIG BANG shit).

Personal actions, hate, happiness (all that Freudian shit).

Why the hell women play stupid, lollygagging games then whine about not finding decent men.

Why the fringe haircut is considered "sexy".

Wood chucks and how much wood they can in fact chuck.

The relevance of why any self proclaimed supreme being (god) thought it would be a good idea to create a creature in his/her/it's image that would eventually invent cheez wiz, reality T.V. and Dubstep.
On a typical Friday night I am
Depends... sometimes out at a show, sometimes at home doing nothing, sometimes at home doing nothing with friends, sometimes at my sisters place, sometimes at a friends place, sometimes just mobbing the boardwalk with no plan at all.

Nothing is set in stone, so by that alone I guess nothing is typical.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I want to write a script and develop characters around the songs from the Album "Zoot Suit Riot" by the Cherry Poppin Daddies.

In other words... I want to write a musical.

I also have this thing for Disneyland, I genuinely like to go a lot. It's somewhat embarrassing but fuck you it makes me happy.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–29
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You feel the desire to do so, if you are bored, if you enjoy whiskey and cheesy movies, if you dig childish antics and doing things and going places simply because they can be done, if you like jabbering about politics or current events or just someone to have a counter point, if you want to meet someone new who is a sucker for pretty women with wit and opinions.

If you think Cthulhu would make a better savior then Jesus.

If you know who Cthulhu even IS.