Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Rather than try and fail miserably to provide an accurate
self-summary, I'm going to instead try and succeed spectacularly at
making something up.
I'm sixth in line to the British throne by way of an illicit affair
between Prince Charles and my paternal grandmother. This doesn't
come with all that much wealth or prestige (I don't even get
invited to family gatherings), but in the event of a series of
unfortunate events I could potentially find myself a head of state.
I find this frightening. On the other hand, the annual gift baskets
and small monthly stipend are a nice supplement to my income.
I once escaped a collapsing Mayan temple using only my wits, a
fedora, and a ten-foot pole. I speak six languages, one of which is
dead and another I made up while high on salvia with the help of a
mango tree. One of my oldest friends is an orangutan who runs a
well-known university library. One day I will discover the secret
of eternal life and am convinced coffee is the key.
For some reason, thunder tends to boom ominously and somehow
threateningly when I pass within ten paces of a church.
Also, apparently the first word I ever spoke was "cat."
Agh, fine, you want an actual sort of summary thing?
Heterocisgendergeekysnarkywhiteyfeministmcnerdface. ENTJ, if you're
into that sort of thing.
I tend to talk rather quickly when I'm in an engaging conversation.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Not working in the entertainment industry, or trying to.
Specifically I work at a firm which sits a bit more than halfway
between pure research and management consulting, so I get to work
with a lot of data but also see how the numbers get turned into
ways for clients to improve their business. I think it's pretty
Less professionally, I'm still sort of weirded out by this whole
"having my shit more or less together business" and am looking to
branch out a little beyond my existing core group of friends in
whatever capacity ends up happening.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Turning $10 worth of stuff from Trader Joes into 4 days of
Spelling like an Englishman.
Geeking out on surprisingly random topics.
Identifying songs I'm actually capable of singing at karaoke.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My blue hair and atrocious fashion sense.
If you're paying attention (or if I've had a couple drinks) you may
notice an accent.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Machiavelli's The Prince, Sun-Tzu's The Art of War, Good Omens and
Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy round out the
books. Two of the above are lies. I love Hunter S. Thompson's
writing style. I read a lot of sci-fi and fantasy, but occasionally
delve into non-fiction if it's particularly interesting. Currently
looking for my next book/series.
For movies, favorites change frequently but Shawshank Redemption's
a permanent top 5 fixture with, oddly, Big Fish.
I will listen to anything that doesn't suck. Songs guaranteed to
make me smile include but are not limited to: Libertango (Astor
Piazolla), Buster Voodoo (Rodrigo y Gabriela), Fly Me to the Moon
(Sinatra or Armstrong), No Leaf Clover (Metallica), Hey Pachuco
(Royal Crown Revue, live version with all the solos in the middle),
Brotherswing (Caravan Palace); I'm a sucker for strings and hard
rock/heavy metal but will try anything once. Thus, I love The Piano
Guys and Lindsey Stirling's stuff to bits.
T.V: The Stewart/Colbert Hour of Win, Monty Python, BBC's Sherlock,
Fringe (R.I.P.), House of Cards, pretty much any 90's cartoon
executive-produced by Spielberg, Doctor Who, Game of Thrones, MST3K
etc. Sci-Fi is good. Funny is good. Interesting but neither of
those is also acceptable.
Food: Love Indian, Mexican, Italian, Japanese, and grillables.
Weird dislikes include non-diced onions and vegetables cooked past
the point of crispness. I am slowly trying to learn more vegetarian
dishes and would love suggestions. Fond of craft beer, dark and
stormy's, (dry) gin martinis, and whiskey on the rocks.
Top 3 Python Sketches: Hungarian Phrasebook, Upper Class Twit of
the Year, Dead Parrot/Lumberjack Song.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
-Nerds, geeks, and witty people.
-My emergency survival kit.
-My ten-foot pole.
-Coffee. And none of that pre-ground shit either, I own a grinder
and french press and know how to use them.
Yes, I know that's seven, but so what?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Who knows. After three decades of pathological curiosity and
several career changes my brain is a mess of random, often
seemingly useless information and has been known to go from point A
to point Q without warning. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Recent thoughts (that need context) have been: wtf is up with
Japan, whether the many worlds hypothesis is true and if so how
much car cheese insurance would cost, and what the world looks like
to a mantis shrimp.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hip deep in jungle mud, searching for forgotten treasures older
than western civilization while avoiding poisonous animals and
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have an irrational dislike for capucin monkeys and Pachelbel's
Canon in D.
I nicknamed my car Janeway. In my defense, it was earned.
I know both Valjean and Javert's parts in Confrontation from Les
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
The older I get, the more I get sense of what it is I'm actually
looking for in a partner. These days it goes something like
You're driven but understand that weekends are for (whenever
possible) doing stuff or doing nothing, as the case may be. My job
does occasionally demand late nights and/or some weekend hours, I
but I try to avoid them as much as I can and hope you take a
You're whip-smart, quick-witted, have a similarly dry/British sense
of humour, and ideally are well-traveled.
You can either accept my geek/nerd tendencies as an amusing quirk
or join right in.
You want to go on adventures and have a cool list of stuff yet to
be done, but appreciate that sometime you just need to spend an
afternoon not wearing pants and either binge-watching Netflix or
playing PC/XBox/etc. (or just grabbing some people for board games
or Cards Against Humanity).
If you can pull this off, we should talk. But I might drool.
Note: I'll probably message you if I'm interested (eventually), but
I am always impressed by women who take the initiative. Especially
if it's an actual message, rather than a single word or sentence.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.