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28 F San Marcos, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 5
5′ 7″ (1.70m)
Body Type
Mostly vegan
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them

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My self-summary
Current events: My new job means a new city! Time to build new friendships all over again...

Why do I hide my identity? Because it's a good choice. When I feel like it, I share my identity with individuals. There's just no need to offer myself up for judgement to the Internet in general. I think of myself as a mixed ethnicity Californian, but I am sometimes assumed to be Asian or Hispanic. I am not a fluent Spanish speaker, but I do speak video game decently. =P

I'm going to use a few shortcuts in this description and leave my paradoxes as a side note. I'm a quiet atheist. I am a casual gamer female. I majored in a social science and minored in art. I love ideas and abstract thinkers. I feel deeply and work hard. I believe in polyamory ideals, but I am content with my partner whether or not we decide to in twine our lives with another couple's in the future.

I am "bisexual" (or pansexual or heteroflexible, whatever) when I am in intimate (trust-based), committed (which for me means time investment on both sides) relationships with other poly minded people I am also sexually attracted to. If any of those ingredients are missing, I am not generally open to intercourse.

I am trying to figure out how to describe the kind of life that I and my partner are enjoying and building together. The kind of paradise that is made. The key words for me are safe and authentic. Maybe the key words for my partner are the flip sides: fun and games. I found one of my soulmates and I am deeply in love with him. He is an intelligent, playful, easy-going, nonconformist, amazing person, and I just got lucky enough to find him before the rest of society noticed. I think he will make an awesome dad. I have no doubt that his inner calm will attract others as he is able to come into his own space in the world.

I am in a transitional time of building my own family, career, and space in the world as well. I dream of sharing a home, tasks, and resources. I believe in complimentary differences and basic equality in intimate relationships. I see the value in sharing responsibilities and accentuating strengths. I am strongly oriented towards tribal communities that are not really supported in today's society.

So what am I looking for? Ideally, a few more local, amazing, likeminded people to be the kind of friends you see all the time. And maybe, just maybe, we would be so compatible with, say another couple, that we could join forces in life and love, share resources and tasks, share laughter, support, and successes, buy a home even, raise our kids together... who knows how good it could be when you believe in multiplying instead of only subtracting. Somewhere out there, other people are thinking similar things and are daring to aim for more. This is just one more way that makes that slight chance of connecting not just a dream, but a possibility.
What I’m doing with my life
I am living my life and loving my loves.

I am actively pursuing the next step in my career, but ever since I received my Master's degree in 2011, I just carry on and keep getting things done. I hope to stay involved with issues I care about, especially social justice. And I hope to get even more involved. I will continue to deepen my relationships, invest in my health, and challenge myself to grow. What that probably looks like from the outside is a broad interest and fleeting focus, lol.
I’m really good at
Having too many lofty ideas to follow through with.
The first things people usually notice about me
...depends on the kind of people they are.

You might notice my humanoid appearance and state and deem me moderate or above average or deficient. You may experience me as friendly and open to interacting. Or maybe I will seem awkward. Or distant. You might categorize me as unthreatening and therefore mistakenly assume that I will be a follower, or even submissive. You may notice that I don't blend in with the herd very well. Or maybe you'll catch me at a moment when I am. Maybe you will find me intelligent and, occasionally, articulate. Maybe you'll think I am soothing or laid-back. Or formal and intimidating. If you're lucky, maybe you'll find me enthusiastic, passionate, joyful, and intense. Maybe.

I am all these things and it really depends on who you are. I like to think I'm pretty awesome. But you might need to live in the same awesomeness dimension to appreciate that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I enjoy serial sci-fi, fantasy, and Radiolab.

I always wish I had more time to read. I love Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!, The Selfish Gene, and The Philosopher in Arms, which was formerly Lion's Heart and Lion's Soul by Karen Wehrstein, now on There are a bunch of web-lit serials I read regularly. And where would I be without The Ethical Slut to inspire me?

Movies, movies... so many movies... If I have time to watch a movie I'll probably enjoy it greatly. Action, drama, documentary, children's movies, geeky movies... Just don't ask me to do horror.

I <3 Firefly and Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog... so very much. I love most geeky things... I'm an adorkable geek and proud of it! If you're an unorthodox nerd or geek, I'll probably be proud of you too. ;)

People are the reason I love music. I like a lot of it, but musicians, people, love... these things make music come alive to me and become as important as breathing. People make it possible for me to hear the world sing.

Luckily, I have Ping and Pandora to help me try to describe what kind of music I like. It's a long list.

I am always thrilled to meet other vegetarians. Vegans inspire me.
The six things I could never do without
~Good conversation- which usually requires someone who is reflective and who knows how to have an interesting, ever-changing conversation, despite the fact that a topic has come up before. The paradox to good conversation is good silence. Ahhh...
~Authenticity- You may be able to fool me, but you're also deluding yourself if you think that you can hide from who you are and still somehow have relationships. I think the paradox of authenticity is knowing when you don't need to give too much of yourself away, for example, to the untrustworthy.
~Social skills- are tricky, I admit! But we are social creatures and that's what makes life fun. =} I find the paradox of social skill is to be skilled in making others comfortable with you and knowing when it's more important to be uncomfortable and make others uncomfortable.
~Accountability- I cannot grow for you. I cannot make you healthier. And no matter how hard I try, I cannot convince you that you are truly special to me if you cannot believe it yourself. Obviously, you don't value this nearly as much until you have to live with a person who doesn't have this quality. I don't know what the paradox of accountability is. The reality that free will is an illusion probably. Something true that should not be acted on.
~Happiness- as a habit, a lifestyle, a moral obligation! For me, the paradox of deep happiness is also being comfortable with deep sorrow. <3
~Meaning- For we are the meaning makers. On the flip side, hoorah, uncertainty! =D
I spend a lot of time thinking about

all sorts of ideas, as shocking as that must be at this point. ;)

The newest Pokemon game.
My own growth and journey.
How awesome my life truly is, and yet how I need to keep making it more awesome.
The value of conflict and uncertainty.
My loved ones and our relationships.
Gender, power, privilege, and discrimination.
What defines lasting change in the world and how to achieve it.
These poorly constructed questions on okcupid!
Gir quotes, Adventure Time, or other things that make me laugh.

Lots of stuff!
On a typical Friday night I am
I think this question is more about what you spend time doing, and thus, value doing. Although I'm not the most consistent, and I need weekly action more than a daily frenzy, here are some things I have done, some of which I still do.

Yoga. Hiking. Running. Kayaking. Snowboarding. Learning about Ham radios or survival medicine. Reading a lot of books. Rereading my favorite books. Reading authors who post and interact with their readers online. Rocky Horror Picture Show. Comic-con. Wandering around my neighborhood or local shopping center by myself. Singing or dancing in my car. Writing. Table top role playing. Karaoke. Being the singer in Rockband. Gardening. Taking care of my succulents. Bird watching. Meditating. Visiting different religious communities. Driving around southern California. Cosplay. Art walks. Painting. Drawing. Fabric art such as batik. Learning something new. Trying to start a workout routine... again.

Obviously, I don't keep all these time consuming hobbies up... but I like doing stuff. I've gotten to do some and I hope to do a lot more.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I fear an overuse of spellcheck has caused my spelling to decline!

Oh noes! First world problem!!!
I’m looking for
  • Everybody
  • Ages 24–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends
You should message me if
...If a blunt response is fine. I don't have a lot of time to answer questions. You have the Internet for research.

**If you are or know a local couple who would like to be friends!** Good friends are important, so it's worth a shot. Although the possibility of an awesome poly constellation, "open" or "closed," appeals to me, that depends entirely on what kind of people we meet and how connections develop. I would be very happy if we could find another couple to live with, not necessarily sleep with.

Fellow polyamorists, humanists, moderates, critical thinkers, geeks, and nerds are still welcome to say hi, as usual. I will do my best to make time to respond!