I work a lot and I don't really have much time at all to date or meet people-- With that in mind, I prefer to date locally.

On to the profile:

Things have been going well in my life, and I feel that all my pieces are in order. I have a wonderful job that provides me with what I need to be independent.

I think it's time now to bring something more to my life when it comes to dating. Although I'm not actively seeking a relationship, I would be open to one if the right person comes along.

That being said, I am NOT looking for any sort of one-night-stand or sex based encounter. Please do not suggest it. I would like to meet people to "see where things go", with the possibility of something longer-term.

I hope this is clear, if you have any further questions, please submit them in writing.

TL;DR: I'm not DTF

I'm a legal assistant at a law firm. I never thought this is what I would be doing with my every day, but love my job. Although I sometimes want to stick my head in an oven, I at least have the health insurance now to take care of me if I actually do...

But wait! There's more!!

Fun fact: I also have a 9 year old child. No...No, I didn't kidnap him, he's actually mine... Like...I made him...Like...he's real.

Yes... He lives with me...I get asked that a lot. I've been trying to get him to move out, but with this economy, he can't really seem to keep a steady job. Freeloader.

I KNOW that this little tidbit bothers a lot of people, but seriously... seriously... get over it.

Pro tip: A lot of people tend to think that I'm looking for some sort of "replacement father" for my son. That's just nuts, and it bugs me. If you go out with me, you are going out with me...not my kid- You are not going to meet him- ever. I keep my social life and my home life two VERY separate things. It's the most used cop-out with me, so try to avoid it. It's so tired.

TL;DR: I have a kid, but you will never meet him

Buffets.

I'm an introvert until you really get to know me. It takes me a long time to warm up to people unless I really feel a connection. I have a very readable face-- you can clearly tell what I'm thinking at all times.

I'm giving. I remember birthdays, I remember facts, I remember stories.... I care.

TL;DR: I'm not very affectionate

First of all, let me say this. Looking at profiles, I notice that people list the same five books and the same five authors over and over. No one thinks you're deep, no one thinks "oh, he must be one classy guy"... Looking at the list, I see a pretentious douche bag that hasn't picked up a book since 9th grade English.

With that in mind:
Movie: Jurassic Park is my all time favorite movie.
Shows: The People's Court
Music: Led Zeppelin
Book: I like fiction/non fiction about the brain and psychology disorders.
Food: Sushi

TL;DR: I have great taste in everything

Listing things that I could never do with out is difficult. There are a lot of things that I don't need in my life-- To make it easier, I will list things that I HATE, and CAN live with out.

DISCLAIMER:*I've noticed that there are quite a few people reading my profile with no sense of humor. You need one to understand me, you need one to understand the following list*

Things Alex CAN do without:

1. Parking Enforcement Nazis- You know of this first hand if you live in my area.

2. People who are extremely lazy, and use it as an excuse for doing NOTHING.

3. One-Uppers.. You know the people who when you say something, they try to "top you", even though it's a conversation- not a competition of "who had the better weekend"

4. Religious nuts

5. Pickles

6. When people leave food in my car.

7. People that want me to 're-post' stupid things on Facebook.
Jesus doesn't give a shit if I forward something to 100 of my closest friends.

8. People who give me lip about smoking

9. People who comment on how dirty my car is, but then they
leave more things in my car for me to clean up.

10. People who insist you eat/try something that you know you don't like.

11. People that ask "why?", when I already gave them a straight answer. This is usually about my food allergies-- "You want some ____?" - "I'm allergic to it"- "Why?"

12. People that ask me extremely personal questions before meeting me.

13. People who won't admit how cool and awesome David Lee Roth is.

14. People that ask me "What is Alex short for?" It's short for Debbie, you douchebag.

15. People who ask me "Why did you move to Los Angeles/West Hollywood?".... Why shouldn't I have moved here?! I love traffic and living in a place where my career field is over populated. I like paying twice as much for groceries as I did back home and I also hate breathing clean air. I moved here cuz it's amazing... Now, If I moved to some bumpiss place like Texas or Iowa, then you should probably ask me "...why..?"

16. Glendale

17. Everything about Glendale

18. Surprises.

19. Mustard

20. Mayonnaise

21. Blisters

22. Having to share a bathroom with someone that uses all your products and doesn't tell you-- I was once in the shower only to discover that I was out of both shampoo and body wash. I ended up using Dawn dish-soap to wash my body and hair. I was never the same again.

23. People who message me knowing that they do not fit my very easy-to-understand criteria...(see 'you should message me if' section.

24. People who understand what I mean when I say something, but still find the need to correct me.

25. Jollybee- It's in the carson mall (and probably other horrible places) Seriously. Fuck this place.

26. Iceland
*as of 12/12/2011, Iceland is "tolerable"
**Just kidding, Iceland sucks ass.

27. People who don't confirm plans.

28. Dogs that poop.

29. People who don't say "thank you" when I say "bless you". I'm not a religious man, however, I am a polite one. Say "thank you", goddammit!

30. Long lines.

31. Soho House in West Hollywood- and anyone who has ever been there.

32. Steampunk....I fucking can't stand steampunk.

33. I hate when people say the "E" sound after the word Hawaii. This drives me nuts, I don't care if it's correct.

I keep adding and adding to this list. I enjoy it. I've retitled this section "Things Alex Just Fucking Hates"

On a positive note, I guess I can name things I like too:
I'm going to avoid the obvious douche bag answers like "water" and "air"

1. Health Insurance
2. My awesome, awesome family
3. My amazing car
4. My dog <3
5. Shoes. Lots and lots of shoes.
6. Camel 99's

TL;DR: I will pick you and everything you love apart, but at least it'll be funny.

1. Happy Hour

To be honest, I almost never have plans... Either I will text people 10 minutes before I feel like actually doing something-- or I will just end up staying home and taking an awesome nap.

I'm REALLY good at Free Cell... I currently have a 127 game winning streak, and the screen shot to prove it...Probably my biggest accomplishment.

My two biggest fears are Coyotes and Maggots.... I also get very wary around balloon and balloon-animals-- but more about childhood trauma later <3

I'm obsessed with Martha Stewart.

1. You are mentally stable. Even if we are just hanging out as
friends, I don't want to hear about your ex girlfriend, drug
addiction, how much you hate life and your lack of job. I don't
have time for an unhealthy relationship of any sort.

I would prefer to not date guys who are in "recovery". This is from experience. Don't argue with me about it.

This happens a lot. A LOT.

2. You have some sort of personality and are able to hold a
conversation.

TL;DR: Don't be a psycho.