People seem to use this box to describe what they are looking for
in a relationship. So, here it goes...
I am looking for connection. I recognize that comes in many forms,
and I think I am open to most of them. Here is the thing. I've
spent a lot of my life categorizing my relationship needs as boxes.
I figure out what needs I have, make a box for that ("Let's label
this box "Girlfriend!"") and then going out and trying to shove
someone into that box. This, it turns out, is a bad approach. For
me, at least.
I've had a lot more luck recently going out, finding connection,
and then carving out space in my life for what that connection
grows into. I do find myself craving more serious, committed
relationships as I get older, although friends/massage
buddies/makeout friends/people to go out dancing with/ships passing
in the night are all pretty awesome.
I'm also open to a bunch of relationship models. While I have been
very happy in monogamous relationships in the past, and could see
myself happy in them again if conditions were right, monogamy isn't
something I am interested in negotiating with anyone at the
My approach to poly is non-hierarchical. This does not mean that I
expect all of my relationships to have the same commitment level.
Far from it. Rather, no relationship I have will have asymmetric
authority over other relationships I have. I have had bad
experiences with hierarchical relationships, have several friends
who have had bad experiences with them, and I believe the
relationship model to be harmful to everyone involved.
I recommend reading the book "More than Two" to anyone who wants to
find out more!
Very happy to discuss this more with anyone who wants to chat about