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WTFDudeWTF

38 Seattle, WA Man

Man

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–44
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:46am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.77m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism
Sign
Capricorn, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English, French (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Hi.

I know you are thinking, "Why the hell did this dude write me an awkward message like that? Can't he be normal and just tell me he thinks he's met me before?"

And now, in retrospect, I suppose I should have, but it's a little too late for that. See, when I wrote the message, I was expecting you to think, "Ooh, he really is smart, and as I am reading his message, for some reason I have the urge to take my clothes off."

I sent it, and I waited, and pushed the refresh button on the browser over and over again.

No answer.

So I thought, "That little joke I wrote must have been really funny, maybe she just can't see through her tears of laughter, I'm sure she'll calm down eventually and be able to write me back."

A day went by, then two, then three. I needed to sleep, but I hit the refresh button one more time, before collapsing in a puddle of exhausted disappointment and tears, heartbroke again.

"Oh God!" I wailed, "She was the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world, and I blew it!" "We both loved habenero peppers and Radio Head! And I blew it!"

Going back to where our relationship began, I re-read the message I sent; "Jesus Christ, Dude!", "That wasn't smooth at all. That was fuckin' stupid!"
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Horology until I fulfill my dream of becoming a gigolo. (Bad pun but semi-accurate description).
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Petting Dandelion, he is afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
-autodidacticism
-running for miles
-wandering the Olympic Mountains
-I'm pretty useless outside of bed, honestly.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am older than I appear, and younger than I am.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
books-------
I read 'em. I like to read them and talk about them with someone who has read the same. I like books with wars, death, sex, work, nuclear detonation, love, agony, innocence, injustice, cops, race, gender, genetics, history, spirituality, transhumanism, fashion, technology, the future, short stories, propaganda, cultural dominance, manifestation and fluffy orange kitties.

music-------------------
Downtempo, electronica, piano, electro-industrial, sax, underground hip hop... ...and dancing.

food-------------------------------------
I like food and sex and money. We have a lot in common.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I do without everything already, but I don't want to be far from the mountains ever.

and of course Dandelion. He has whiskers and triangle ears.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Wars, death, sex, work, nuclear detonation, love, agony, innocence, injustice, cops, race, gender, genetics, history, spirituality, transhumanism, fashion, technology, the future, short stories, propaganda, cultural dominance, manifestation and fluffy orange kitties.

"I should get a girlfriend, but I won't like her if I do. I know! I'll go on OKCupid and analyze and answer a bunch of questions and find some pretty dark eyed girl so I know it will be a sure thing. We'll meet up, and fuck after the first date, (although she never does, but I am too damn hot to resist). We'll hang out and do all that beautiful people stuff, and she'll do her best to make me happy, but when she does, I'll start ranting about the wars and police brutality and over-sized parking fines, and everything else I can't control. Soon, she'll start to realize what a stubborn curmudgeon I am, who hates Christmas and Valentines Day for real, but does tell really funny jokes, except the one that wasn't very funny, more like something an asshole would say. Then she'll run away and find a hipster with a fashionable short beard and knit scarf who likes to sit around dive bars, swig micro brews and take selfies of themselves and their food while listening to yet another group of Seattle hipsters with fashionable short beards and knit scarves strum their guitars playing pseudo-folk music. I'll stalk her facebook pics, and see her smiling with him, and his pho crusted chin pubes, and think about how alone I am, and how she really was a nice girl. Out of ideas, I'll consider my options: go to a bar, or try OKCupid again. Well... Let's see.... ooh... ...Hmm, interesting, *This* question will finally separate me from the rest! 'What do you care more about: suffering animals fighting for gay rights or starving children fighting for abortion rights?' I better answer this one right..."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
A date wheel swap, hand alignment, battery change, or sizing, probably.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You don't think I'm some desperate floozy who will just hop in bed with you because U R so hot N sexy.