I know you are thinking, "Why the hell did this dude write me an awkward message like that? Can't he be normal and just tell me he thinks he's met me before?"
And now, in retrospect, I suppose I should have, but it's a little too late for that. See, when I wrote the message, I was expecting you to think, "Ooh, he really is smart, and as I am reading his message, for some reason I have the urge to take my clothes off."
I sent it, and I waited, and pushed the refresh button on the browser over and over again.
So I thought, "That little joke I wrote must have been really funny, maybe she just can't see through her tears of laughter, I'm sure she'll calm down eventually and be able to write me back."
A day went by, then two, then three. I needed to sleep, but I hit the refresh button one more time, before collapsing in a puddle of exhausted disappointment and tears, heartbroke again.
"Oh God!" I wailed, "She was the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world, and I blew it!" "We both loved habenero peppers and Radio Head! And I blew it!"
Going back to where our relationship began, I re-read the message I sent; "Jesus Christ, Dude!", "That wasn't smooth at all. That was fuckin' stupid!"