Born in NYC. Raised in the South. Returned to birthplace to spawn.

I'm a mild-mannered, neurotic history student living in a tiny, messy Manhattan apartment. I'm unsure of the worth of my studies due to their connection to personal demons and...holy shit, I just realized I'm Dustin Hoffman in Marathon Man.

Swearing at inanimate objects, the crossword puzzles in The Onion, wearing flip-flops in cold weather, editing Wikipedia articles about Southern rappers, waxing lyrical about fast-food restaurants, disturbing Kubrick stares, explaining news stories to my roommate.

Not sure, but I have been mistaken for a few different foreign nationalities by tourists in NYC.

I'm a huge pop culture nerd/snob who spends way too much time deciding what to put in these kinds of lists.

The music I listen to depends on when you ask. At any given time I could be all about anything from Sonic Youth to Project Pat to Sepultura to Ace of Base.

I'm into sarcastic 20th century writers like Vonnegut, Nabokov, Flannery O'Connor (if I ever have a daughter, her middle name will be Flannery), Palahniuk, J.G. Ballard. SOCIETY IS SUCH BULLSHIT, MAN. My non-fiction interests include British soccer, the American Southwest, and all sorts of left-wing stuff of varying contexts.

Far too much of my consciousness has been shaped by off-color television comedy. The Simpsons, South Park, SNL, Adult Swim, Jackass, etc. Current favorites are Parks and Recreation, Workaholics, Louie, and Delocated. I cannot stand the show It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and I reserve the right to make unfair judgments about its fans.

A lot of the time I enjoy reading the reviews of movies more than actually spending two hours sitting through them. But some of the movies I like to actually watch are Office Space, Pulp Fiction, Step Brothers, Barton Fink, Collateral, The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou...

whether I hate New York or I really just hate Manhattan.

Years ago, I was fired from my job for punching a co-worker. It strangely turned out to be one of the best decisions I've ever made.

you wanna hang with me and Mr. Netflix. I'm actually broke and in-between jobs, so I can't really do much else at the moment. Maybe you have weird, free things you like to do?