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55 Van Nuys, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 33–56
  • Located anywhere
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Sep 17
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Atheism and it’s important
Dropped out of University
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Fluently), English (Somewhat), English (Somewhat), Spanish (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Starting to rethink my user name. Yes, I enjoy smoking marijuana and I use it in my work. That's right, I'm a comedy writer and I get high and do my work, and if you have a problem with that, good bye, Judgey Judgerson! But I like to think there's more to me than being a pot smoker. Would be pretty sad if, anytime I ran into somebody, their only thought was, "Oh great, here comes Pot-head."

YOU: Sweet, fun, cute, laugh at almost everything I say (because how can you help yourself?) You give as good as you get. Not really sure what that means but I heard it once on TV and always liked it. I think it means you don't take any guff. Republicans tend to make you queasy. You could give two shits past a nickle if two gay people get married. The way you see it, it's none of your damn business. If I mention a famous person I happen to know, the look on your face tells me you are not impressed and may die of boredom. You have your own thing that you do and are quite good at it. I'm actually a little jealous. If I asked you to give up your thing you would tell me to go screw. (I would never ask that) You are happy to share your knowledge with me but don't act like you know everything. And if I start acting like I know everything you put me in my place straight away. You are not religious because you are not a dope.

ME: You never mind about me. This is MY dog & pony ride.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE sex! And I LOVE hot, nude girls! But I have no interest in going to your website, or joining some club so I can see all your sexy photos. I'm sure they're great! But I'd rather meet somebody I can possibly start a relationship with. I just ended a sentence with the word with. I did it again! Twice in a row!

I also love good conversation with that certain someone I care about. Great, ended that one with about. I'm finished here.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Wasting it. What an easy questionnaire!

No, I'm playing around! Right now I am writing an internet comedy show. How does a job like that pay? Let's just say I'm not living at The Ritz. Ha ha! Eventually I hope to get a bunch of cartoons on television (I love writing cartoons!) but right now, I'm just scraping by like most Americans. But, recently I have gotten back into PERFORMING comedy, and not for the money, just because it's something that I really enjoy. I just read that last sentence and it made me whence. I'm going to stop now.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Badminton. Think you can beat me? HA! And I make the best salsa verde you're likely to find anywhere. I make a pretty excellent red sauce too. My tacos are tasty and my pizza is good. And I make a killer Philly cheese steak. (Literally, it will kill you. Do not eat more than one a month at the most!)

I'm not comfortable with this whole bragging thing, I have to say. It's one thing to brag about your salsa, but to talk about yourself as a performer, as an artist... I can be pretty good at the comedy thing. There, I said it. Don't like it. Feel like a douche. Let's get back to the salsa verde. Up for a salsa-off? You will lose.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Who is that goofy-lookin' bald guy and why does he arouse me so? (LOL)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Illusions by Richard Bach. A Prayer For Owen Meany by John Irving. Crackpot by John Waters.

Apocalypse Now, Cool Hand Luke, Blazing Saddles, Defending Your Life

Mary Tyler Moore Show, Odd Couple, Taxi, Carol Burnett, Cheers, MASH, Modern Family, Larry Saunders, Fernwood Tonight..

Jackson Browne, Bill Withers, Marvin Gaye, John Prine, Ray Charles, The National...

I am a Mexican food fanatic! Have to have it at least three times a week. Also like Thai food, Italian food, Indian food, Chinese food, sushi... And there's nothing wrong with good ol' American barbecue!
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Comedy, marijuana, Mexican food, my dog; Baxter, television, Nestle Toll House Ultimate Chocolate Chip Lovers Cookies. ...Just noticing, no mention of any kind of human contact in that list. Disturbing.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How I can become the world's greatest living human being. That, or dick jokes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At home smoking killer green bud, eating homemade tacos, drinking Welch's Grape Soda, watching Shark Tank on TV, my faithful dog; Baxter, beside me on the floor. Looks kind of pathetic written out like that, but there ya go.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I love lesbian porn.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You think we might get along pretty well together.