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Wallythelawyer

46 M Newport News, VA

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:36am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Not at all
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Virgo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from law school
Job
Law
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has a kid
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Okay), C++ (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I am fun loving, super funny, extrovert. I have little to no back hair, and no stalking convictions. First, if you are a tatted, pierced, freaky gal, don't think I won't be interested in you. I would be VERY interested (can't seem to get you gals to give me a look - hey, I have A tattoo. . .its a start. I like going out dining and dancing, and I like the outdoors, hiking, camping, etc. I am looking for lady to spend time with. I am a liberal from sexual to political matters and you probably should be too. I am a bit of a thrill junkie, am the anti-dull, and anything but plain vanilla. You may very well go out on a date with me, and never want another (unlikely but anything is possible,) but you will have a good time, and will be entertained. . . I guarandamtee it.

Here are some real life testimonials from actual woman who have met me on dates:

Lisa A. "Don't call me, don't contact me, I just want to forget. . . pls. The next time you hear from me, it will be through my lawyer!"

Melissa J. "I thought meeting you at a place where I have friends hanging out would be a safe bet. . . I am never going to live this down. WHO ACTS LIKE THAT IN PUBLIC?"

Jackie P. "Uh, I hate to ask, but there is like $50 missing from my purse. . . "

Donna B. "So I decide to sleep with you and you try and stick a finger up my butt. . . who the hell does that!"

Carmen D. "Wow, you actually wore that on a date, THAT. . . did you make a special trip to the GoodWill just for me? Was it the last f'ing thing left on the clearance rack on the 2nd day of the month?"

Myra S. "My mother was trying to give you a kiss on the cheek, THE CHEEK, but she appreciated the tongue cleaning you gave her dentures. OMG, she's almost 70 and she's my MOM. . . could you lose my number please, please, please."

Dina B. "[After our date I deleted my profile]. . . I've decided to give dating up for a long while. I'm apparently a bad judge of character and I think being alone is preferable."

Tina S. "You said you had to run and get some money to pay for dinner. . . where did you "run," Nome Alaska.. . . you owe me $78.50 and cab fare you *sshole."

Anonymous "I am so glad I didn't give you my real name, soooo very glad."

If you laughed at the above, we might actually get along.
What I’m doing with my life
I am trying to make all new friends in Hampton/Newport News where I just moved. I lived Southside, so I need new peeps on this side of the river. Also, building up my law practice which I rebooted after my divorce three years ago) Just this summer (2013) bought a 35ft sailboat and I am spending time renovating it this winter. And, just because I am a lawyer, don't think I am rich. Two divorces wipes a guy out for a while, and I am currently boat poor, and happy about it :)
I’m really good at
They really should add a section "what I am really bad at." Boy, I could write a book about that. . . Anyway, I am a great conversationalist. I love talking to people, anyone, and I pretend to listen as well as I talk. I am a charmer, and make people comfortable. I like to be the life of the party in a good way. I am also very handy. I am an accomplished carpenter, moderately talented auto mechanic, fairly accomplished computer technician, a great chef/cook and have a good sense of style. I was, back in the day, athletic (hey, high school still counts, dammit) and coached kid's soccer for a couple of years.
The first things people usually notice about me
My humility. I am the most awesomely humble person in the world. My humility is so unbelievable awesome that it will blow your mind! I had to point that out because no one seems to notice on their own for some strange reason. Other than that, visually, my hair. I am rockin the locks, no grey. Personality, my wit. (3/25/14 - thanks to Donna, who all night long on a date gleeefully and sadistically pointed out I have a small dust of grey now at the temples, I can't say "no grey" anymore. Thanks for wrecking my life Donna!!!!)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite books: Lord of the Rings Trilogy, anything by Ann Rice. Movies: Fight Club, August Rush, Something about Mary, Hangover (we should all have our own naked trunk Asian!), Dodgeball. I like all good movies, Chocolat, Vicki Christina Barcelona, the list goes on. Oh, both are great, but Star Trek over Star Wars. ..that's important. Love good food, and all good music, especially classic rock, and 90's alternative. I am a bit of a foodie, and love good restaurants/good food.
The six things I could never do without
Family
Cheese, really good cheese
Good movies
Good books
Culture
Intellectual stimulation and humor.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
The hangnail in my left toe. .. why always the left effing toe! Looks the same as the right toe...clip the nail the same way. I don't think I show any right toe favoritism. . . hell, I am a Democrat, you would think I would coddle the left toe, give the toenail lots of free love; some free education, food stamps, basic toe welfare. . .but NO, my left effing toe is always hangnailing on me. WTF!
On a typical Friday night I am
Tweaking my OkCupid account, wondering why I don't have a date. Dunno, maybe I seem too sincere. . .
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am a hot mess and other than cross dressing and dudes, I am kinky as hell and up for anything. . . you don't have to be, but just throwing that out there and if you are, throw the word "vanilla" in a sentence casually and clue me in.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–52
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You are a together, no drama, fun, hip chick, with an off sense of humor, looking to spend time with an easy going, charming, funny gentleman OR if you looked at my profile, thought I was a complete jerk and wanted to tell me so!