Firstly - This 'Personality' profile... Complete and utter bull-honkey. I don't know how it comes up with these things. I'm totally well mannered. [/rant]

When I was a kid, my dream career was to be the exclusive dentist to the astronauts of NASA's Shuttle program. Dreams can get no mo' awesome.

I'd like to think that I'm witty or profound. I'm sure that given a certain amount of Malört and proper lunar positioning, I can accomplish both of these things simultaneously.

I'd also like to think that you have a short attention span. If I haven't won you over yet, I never will. Perhaps I can lure you in with promises of baked goods or candy! Here goes nothin'...

About me:

I possess a proven, 100% reliable cure for the hiccups.

I jockey around a desk for a large not-for-profit organization. I'd call it a career, but I could probably make more money as the Assistant to the Manager of a hot dog cart. Although the pay isn't the greatest, I really enjoy the company of my coworkers. Alas... Currently seeking new opportunities.

However, I try not to let work dictate my whole life. In my off time, I can be found spending time with friends, with my nose in a book, working on a new interpretive dance routine, or brewing beer.

I enjoy photography, film, craft beer, homebrewing, napping, soaking up useless trivia, cheating on crossword puzzles, and spending time outdoors. I probably spend way too much time matching up my socks after laundry, but it's an incredibly productive use of my time.

Quick! Look over there! *runs away*

Adventuring! Is that a word?

I'm currently attempting to teach my roommates' puppy to play dead. I hope that raising children isn't this terrible.

Filling out online profiles. Coming up with excellent usernames. Fixing things that don't need to be fixed. Squishing spiders in the office. Singing off-key standards while wandering my apartment. Having conversations with young children. Making lists. Making lists of my lists. Organizing lists. Crossing things off of lists. Tetris. Staring at ceilings.

Also camping, walking a straight line, consuming an inhuman amount of Diet Mountain Dew, making people laugh.. Even at great cost to my own physical and/or emotional well being.

And apparently drawing blanks.

My beard. Or perhaps that I'm wearing scuba flippers and a tuxedo. I don't know, you tell me.

I read non-fiction constantly. Anywhere between five and ten books at a time. My kindle is full, and my library card is well used.

I saw that new Batman movie recently and SPOILER ALERT, Dumbledore is still dead.

I never watched The X-Files as a kid, so of course I'm now right in the middle of watching all nine seasons back to back on Netflix.

I spend way too much time listening to NPR for my own good. As far as musical tastes go, I'm all over the map. Carly Rae Jepsen is currently stuck in my head.

I love couscous and anything meaty or breakfast related. I've never eaten a festival gyro out of a trash can, but I know someone that has. True story.

- My glasses.
- Pen & paper.
- Clean socks.
- NPR.
- My phone.
- My toothbrush.
- Sriracha. That's right. A seventh item. It's that important.

Pants, mittens, napping, etc.

Generally, spending time with friends. Be it a low key gathering, time at a bar, or a bonfire.

I love camping, so I can generally be found trekking to somewhere or already set up for a couple of nights under the stars.

And there's always the standby - Hours of Netflix, coffee, and laundry.

I shower in the nude. Seriously.

Also, I was never vaccinated for Whooping Cough. Scandal!

You want to learn how to make beer! Or tie knots! Or treat frostbite!

Or maybe you just want to talk? I can't force you, but I'll try to make your effort enjoyable!