Attention females of Earth:
We have captured the life-form known as Weigel527. He appears to be in good health, with an athletic build, and has no visible scars or markings. The only anatomical abnormality we can ascertain is a strange protrusion originating from the middle of his face. He informed us that it’s called a nose. Upon further examination, we refer to it as his upper horn.
After various simulations, the specimen exhibits the following characteristics when interacting with those of his species: humbleness, honesty, patience, and politeness.
In addition to that, he makes other humans expel a chortling noise whenever he speaks to them for any length of time. We have been unable to pinpoint the source of this phenomenon, but we suspect that it is benevolent in nature.
Through the use of advanced brain scans and extensive cognitive testing, it has been determined that this particular hominid is sane and has the full use of all his mental facilities. He registers to be above average in intellect, by human standards, and though his primitive feelings are beyond our comprehension, he displays a great capacity for empathy and emotional understanding.
The subject has a borderline obsession with organization and alliteration, and he shows a somewhat shocking tendency towards timeliness. Furthermore, he has the ability to be insightful as well as thoughtful, especially when dealing with other sentient beings. He’s also a quick learner, a great problem solver, and has superior listening skills. In fact, we’re thinking about keeping him around to be our ambassador to Earth!
That wouldn’t be fair to him, however, so we’re looking to beam him down to a willing human female (per his request). If this is you, please press the message button at the top of the page and a transmission will be sent directly to our ship. Until then, may the force be with you, live long and prosper, and all that jazz!
*END OF TRANSMISSION*
We have captured the life-form known as Weigel527. He appears to be in good health, with an athletic build, and has no visible scars or markings. The only anatomical abnormality we can ascertain is a strange protrusion originating from the middle of his face. He informed us that it’s called a nose. Upon further examination, we refer to it as his upper horn.
After various simulations, the specimen exhibits the following characteristics when interacting with those of his species: humbleness, honesty, patience, and politeness.
In addition to that, he makes other humans expel a chortling noise whenever he speaks to them for any length of time. We have been unable to pinpoint the source of this phenomenon, but we suspect that it is benevolent in nature.
Through the use of advanced brain scans and extensive cognitive testing, it has been determined that this particular hominid is sane and has the full use of all his mental facilities. He registers to be above average in intellect, by human standards, and though his primitive feelings are beyond our comprehension, he displays a great capacity for empathy and emotional understanding.
The subject has a borderline obsession with organization and alliteration, and he shows a somewhat shocking tendency towards timeliness. Furthermore, he has the ability to be insightful as well as thoughtful, especially when dealing with other sentient beings. He’s also a quick learner, a great problem solver, and has superior listening skills. In fact, we’re thinking about keeping him around to be our ambassador to Earth!
That wouldn’t be fair to him, however, so we’re looking to beam him down to a willing human female (per his request). If this is you, please press the message button at the top of the page and a transmission will be sent directly to our ship. Until then, may the force be with you, live long and prosper, and all that jazz!
*END OF TRANSMISSION*
