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52 Los Angeles, CA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 32-55
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 7:47pm
Straight, Heteroflexible, Sapiosexual
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
5' 2" (1.57m)
Body Type
Judaism but it’s not important
Post grad
Has kid(s)
Has cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), French (Somewhat), Hebrew (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Smart, sassy, sweet, sapiosexual, sarcastic, short, silly, self-aware, salty, and a whole lot of things that don't begin with "s."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a chef for the MyTable app and a freelancer for wonderhowto's food hacks site. Ask me what to do with that paper grocery bag you really didn't want to have to pay for at Trader Joe's!

Earlier in 2015, I quit my job teaching sixth grade at a local independent school. We had ethical differences: I have some, and apparently independent schools in LA do not.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Tying a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. I learned this trick to amuse my kids when they were little, so it's not quite what you might be thinking ;)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My smile. My rack. My fabulously bushy tail (that's a joke. I am not a furry. You do you, but not my thing )
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Authors- Alice Hoffman, John Irving, Colleen McCullough, JD Salinger, Christopher Golden, Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, Anita Shreve, Jennifer Weiner (I like chick lit, magical realism, and horror. Sue me)

Movies- My favorite weird genres are improbable romance (those that contain an element of magic and/or unlikelihood) and religious horror (especially fun, bad religious horror like The Seventh Sign). I love movies overall. Some longtime favs include Dirty Dancing, The Princess Bride, The Graduate, Young Frankenstein, The Final Destination franchise (except that last one; that one blew), The Faculty, Footloose, The Big Chill...really, anything with Kevin Kline, Up, How to Train Your Dragon, When Harry Met Sally, Grosse Pointe Blank, Point Break, Love Actually, Zombieland, 500 Days of Summer, Easy A, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Red, Scott Pilgrim vs the World, Shaun of the Dead, Chef, About Time, and all three Sharknadoes (plural, like potatoes).

Music- Jack White, Ben Folds, James Taylor, John Mayer, Bree Sharp, Fountains of Wayne, Storm Large, Wilco, Rilo Kiley, Amanda Marshall, Sting, The Police, Barenaked Ladies, They Might Be Giants, Common Rotation, Daughtry, Rick Springfield and yes, the occasional Barry Manilow. Don't judge me. ;-)

TV: Current - The Big Bang Theory, the new Hawaii 5-0, Top Chef, almost anything on Food Network, Mr Robot, Orange is the New Black, House of Cards, Game of Thrones, American Horror Story, American Ninja Warrior, The Following, Sleepy Hollow, iZombie.

Past- The Wonder Years, Life Goes On, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, Buffy, Angel, Firefly, Flight of the Conchords, Wonderfalls, Friends, Daria, Freaks and Geeks, Chuck, Entourage, Terriers, Fringe, The New Normal, Go On, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sons of Anarchy, Hello Ladies, The Newsroom, Glee, Phineas & Ferb.

Food- Beef, raw or cooked. Hash browns. Dunkin Donuts Iced Coffee. Sushi. Chicken tikka masala.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Iced coffee in the morning.
Music to sing to in the shower.
Thick-cut, applewood smoked bacon.
The internet.
My super comfy bed.
My car, Tobias (it's bright blue. Points if you get the reference)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Words. I love to write and I love to read, and I just plain love language and all its nuances in general. So proofread your profile and your message to me carefully, dude ;-)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I once pulled the fire alarm in a dorm in college so I could catch my then-boyfriend coming out of the building with the girl with whom I knew he was cheating. Don't cross me.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You read my whole profile, we match fairly high, you aren't looking for a one-night stand or a lifetime commitment, you don't use chat speak, you are generally a positive happy person, you aren't allergic to cats, you like food and don't have any allergies or restrictions (glutards and vegans need not apply-sorry), you think sex and guilt have no place in the same sentence, you have a good sense of humor and a better sense of yourself, and you think we'd have fun together.

You should *not* message me if you don't have a picture in which your face is visible, if you are outside of my stated age range, if you mention God or the Bible in your profile, if you are allergic to cats, or if we match really low. I won't respond.

Also, if you send me a message asking if I want to fuck (no, not you. Not ever) or if you can cum on my face (nope) or if I've ever had an 11" cock (I have one in my naughty drawer), I will forward your message to your mother.