I color outside the lines.
I’m a moderate liberal; I watch The Daily Show but fall asleep before it’s over.
I work out every morning and pretend it’s for the endorphins.
My waffles rate a special page in Zagats.
I trained my dog to bark at Reality TV.
I’ve earned enough miles to date an Eskimo.
I know all the lyrics Stephen Sondheim ever cut.
I’m masculine enough that I don't need to think about it.
Not sure which was more unforgettable, skydiving or my first tequilla shot.
My nephews invite me to their games and I cheer like I have a clue.
When marriage equality passes, I'm going to buy the world a coke.
I always liked that Jack-in-the-box named Charlie.