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29 M Kalamazoo, MI

I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–32
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 9:28am
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Aries, but it doesn’t matter
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I work in mental health. My friends complain about how customers condescend to them on the phone or don't leave enough of a tip. I'm like "yeah so we pulled a couple of shivs off this one dude the other day."

Recently I took up spending some time at the gym and spending much MORE time outside running. I've decided that I hate treadmills so I ran outside all winter (also balaclavas make me look like a fuckin' ninja). My first ever real race was a half marathon, because go hard or go home. If you know of any good ones that give out finisher medals that I can wave drunkenly at people going "look! Admire meeee!!" well then hit me up, brother.

Plz don't run me over.

I used to cook for a living and was pretty fantastic at it. Now I don't think I could compete on something like Chopped! unless my mystery ingredients were some frozen pizzas and a bottle of Jack Daniels.

I once tried (could say failed) going Vegan for a month and survived on practically nothing but Clif bars and quinoa.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I play "music" in a "band." I'm the bassist, which is the chillest job you can have in a band outside of 'lead singer's girlfriend.' We're called Two Hand Touch, you can check out our slightly-mysoginistic Facebook page.

I work third shift a lot. So, obviously I'm not out for brunch very often.

I'm always down to play some disc golf. Or hike some trails. Or run some trails, if you don't mind that I'll probably have some headphones on or be way behind you pulling 9:00min/miles.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Shooting pool. Sailing. I'm fairly literate, I guess.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
If you're short, probably that I'm tall. If you're used to guys who wear blazers or worn out jeans, probably that I dress like an asshole.

MY EYES (gag).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love the Fast and the Furious franchise because I am twelve years old. The last movie I saw in theaters was Grand Budapest and I thought it was so beautiful and intricate, so many sets looking like delicate surreal toys (weird plot, too).

I actually get a ton of time to read. I'm working on a lot of Clive Barker (Imajica, Hellbound Heart, etc) and I have a serious love for James Clavell's novels even if he has a big stiffy for Ayn Rand. I read The Godfather at least once a year.

Other than a love affair with Prince, I have the worst taste in music. Do not let me touch your radio.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Good food,
clear skies,
bad movies,
long playlists,
sleepless nights,


And vests. If they have hoods on them, all the better.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How short H. Jon Benjamin is. Basically how much his body doesn't match his entrancing, beautiful voice.

I'm growing ever more paranoid as to the ulterior motives of my drummer - he seems to be doing his damnedest to get me to like Maroon 5.

5/17/14: I listen to Maroon 5 when I work out now, and actively am in competition with Adam Levine in many aspects of life, though I suspect he does not know of this.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Typically? Wake up. Arm day at gym. Hill sprints after. Shower. Work all night. Sometimes if I'm not working a Friday night, I'll head out to a bar or a show with some friends and feel weird about having a beer at what is essentially my lunch time.

My favorite answer to this is what boils down to "I might go out, or I might stay in!" Well, obviously. I read this and I roll my eyes so hard I can see into the past.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Fuck the Oxford comma. Semicolons are your way to true love and happiness.

I play drinking games with peoples' profiles.
Sometimes Raising Hope makes me want to call my parents.

I spent the first ten years of my adult life being particularly flabby and feel really weird about recently being able to finally check 'athletic' as my body type. But weird in a good way.

Idk... I'm ticklish?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you don't take yourself seriously. I can see you being serious already. Knock it off.

If you're Lizzie Caplan. Or can pull off a convincing Jessica Rabbit. And maybe that last bit belongs under "Most Private."

If you can teach me to play and sing Nothing Compares 2 U.

Something I noticed about OKCupid is that everyone puts down hiking as a hobby. There can't be this many people who go hiking. I've been hiking, it's not that goddamn crowded.

Message me. I dare you.
And to give me the full OKC experience, message me in a parody of the most mysoginistic message YOU'VE ever received, for a fun change of pace. Like, maybe you should tell me I would be prettier if I smiled more?

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."-Wayne Gretzky or Michael Jordan. It was one of them.