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37 Adelaide, Australia Man


I’m looking for

  • Women who like men
  • Ages 18–42
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 12:48pm
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Working on space camp
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), German (Poorly)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Mostly harmless.


In more than a year on this site and in spite of several profile rewrites and trying numerous different approaches I have barely found anyone to hang out with more than twice. Everyone I ever talk to either loses interest (fair enough) or, and this is the frustrating part, is incredibly bad at replying. They go offline for weeks at a time, the conversation drags, they give two word responses to multi-paragraph messages, weeks turn into months where we STILL haven't so much as met up for coffee, and I start to wonder if anyone on here actually has the time in their life to meet anyone ever. I can't keep propping interactions up like this. Contact me if you actually plan to talk, and, assuming we get on okay, you would like to meet in person BEFORE the universe dies of heat death. Let's not waste each other's time.


Profile resumes.

I could write forever and still this would be incomplete, but it's interesting to try.

Edit based on recent feedback: I'll talk to pretty much anyone who isn't a bigot, a moron, or a religious fundamentalist so long as you're actually willing to communicate.

Are you:
An introverted basket case who just wants some company now and then?
A crazy ratbag looking for someone to corrupt?
A bit of an idiot?
Experiencing a shortage of massage and cuddles?
A sweet, gentle person who wants someone with whom to marvel at the wonders of the world?
An avid movie watcher who would like a body warming the couch next to you as you watch?
Simply bored and horny?
I'm looking for all these and more!

I am: Multifaceted ~ Loyal ~ Weird ~ Honest ~ Intense ~ Kinky ~ Uninhibited ~ Open-minded ~ Crazy ~ Rational ~ Tactile ~ Affectionate ~ Romantic ~ Non-judgmental ~ Thrifty ~ Generous ~ Kind ~ Verbose ~ Hilarious ~ Idealistic ~ Intense ~ Inappropriate ~ Communicative ~ Aspergic ~ Literal ~ Oblivious ~ Polyamourous ~ Random ~ Impulsive ~ Passionate ~

I like: kissing, reading, crotch watching, intimacy, intensity, imagination, being taken out of my comfort zone.
I hate: homophobia, slut shaming, transphobia, liars, prejudice, discrimination, dehumanizing mainstream porn.

There are always exceptions to everything, except when there are not.

I talk a lot about other people. This doesn't mean I prefer them over you, I just think about people a heck of a lot.

I can be, like, totes intellectual and shit.

I have zero interest in Harry Potter but I find Potterheads entertaining and endearing, along with members of fandoms in general. It's cool to be passionate about stuff. Geek on!

I love thermometers, mirrors, LEDs, scales, photovoltaic cells, energy efficiency, and neodymium magnets. Seriously.

I love the sound of road trains.

I sleep badly in my bed but well in cars.

I have strings of LEDs all over my house. They're pretty :3

I'm a child at heart. I bounce on beds, hide in boxes, climb trees, make elaborate banana splits, and run through sprinklers. But I can also be responsible. I'll put down my $800 phone before running through the sprinkler :D
Apparently I also giggle a lot.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

Yeah, I like dad jokes. Don't judge me!

I love cold weather and hate hot weather. I overheat like crazy if I'm even slightly active, and I like to be active. I go ice skating in shorts and t-shirt and it's still too warm.
Also, cold weather makes for amazing cuddles!

I dislike the OkCupid question format. Just because I'll accept any answer a potential partner gives does NOT mean it's irrelevant, not at all! Different answers are important for different reasons. Likewise, if I consider an answer very important who is to say I mean that in the same way that the quiz assumes? Most of the questions practically force you to discriminate against people for NOT discriminating, unless you allow any/all answers, that is, and then it tells you off for being wishy-washy.

When I rate someone's profile am I supposed to be rating them based on their appeal to me? Their spit and polish? Their character and moral fibre?

I overthink things. A lot. Or do I? I'll think about it.

I dislike wearing shoes. Or clothes in general for that matter. But especially shoes.

I'm sad that my preferred username of WhovianDebauchery is two characters longer than is permitted :(

Cigarettes are vile. I don't much care if you smoke them when not around me but do not approach me if you reek of them and DO NOT let your smoke get on me. That shit is disgusting. If you do, I don't think we can be friends. Sorry, not sorry.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking for those few rare people who make me believe that maybe the human race isn't completely fucked.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-Giving sensual massages.
-Writing D/s erotica, apparently.
-Befriending ALL the cats.
-Confounding stereotypes.
-Catching things before they hit the ground.
-Hugs. I'm Adelaide's free hugs guy and I get great reviews. The world needs more hugs.
-Spotting sexual inyourendo

I'm really BAD at:
-Being on time.
-Remembering where the hell I parked my car.
-Picking up on body language and subtext.
-Related: Understanding people. They're all fucking crazy! Wait, does that mean I do understand them? o.O
-Remembering things. I'm terrible with names and faces, and if I don't get to know someone pretty well to begin with then I'm liable to forget anything and everything we've ever spoken about, although I do remember feelings. So, good communication early on is VITAL.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My top hat & the fact that I look and act a decade or so younger than I am.

People tend to badly misjudge me. Appearances are deceiving.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Food: PIZZA! I adore it. Truly it is the food of the nonexistent gods. Also yiros, Italian, and Chinese fried rice.

I dislike spicy, chilli, sweet & sour, barbecue, capsicum, and Brussels sprouts. Other than that I'll try just about anything, and a personal favourite is grilled cheese and banana on toast. People who are squeamish or hesitant about trying new foods, or new combinations of existing foods, puzzle me greatly.

TV: Doctor Who (duh), Game of Thrones, The Big Bang Theory, Red Dwarf, Elfen Lied, Battlestar Galactica, and Firefly, plus various others. I'm very picky with my shows and haven't watched broadcast TV for many years - I refuse to be subjected to commercials and inflexible viewing schedules. Also, I much prefer having company when I watch movies & TV shows.

Games: I'm first and foremost a PC gamer but some games are simply better on console - fighting games, driving games, beat-em-ups, etc. I do not play MMOs. MMOs are evil things which suck the life from people. I mostly game when I'm bored. It's certainly not an obsession, although I do get impassioned about it.
Phone & tablet: pinball, Scrabble, racing gamesgames, Slay.
(PC) Deus Ex, Unreal Tournament, Civilization 4, Fallout 3 / Fallout: New Vegas, Killing Floor, TimeShift, Vampire - The Masquerade: Bloodlines.
(Xbox (360)) Dead or Alive series.
(DS) Tetris DS.
(Wii) Mortal Kombat: Armageddon, Top Spin 3, Tiger Woods golf.
Xbone: lolno
Sony: Sony is evil. EVILLLLLLLL!

Books: eBook user here. Why do so many people hate on them? I read on my phone or, more commonly, my tablet.
I'm working my way through Larry Niven's entire collection, and I enjoy horror and science fiction in general, plus Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children series.
A few favourites: Dragon's Egg & Starquake by Robert L. Forward, Weapon & Solo by Robert Mason, Prey by Michael Crichton, Einstein's Bridge by John Cramer, The Doomsday Effect by Thomas Wren, and The Opoponax Invasion.

Well now, this is interesting. Almost every singer I like is female, and almost every actor I like is male. Also, nearly all my friends are female (and many of those are gay or asexual). I wonder what that says about me.

I love music so much. It brings me to tears in the most wonderful way.
I have a decent range of tastes: celtic, dance, pop, rock, some classical, some metal, etc.
Mostly I listen to things I can dance to in clubs: Pink, Lady Gaga, Wynter Gordon, Rihanna, Cascada, Ke$ha, Basshunter, Skrillex, Scooter, and Katy Perry.
Others I like include Loreena McKennitt, Metallica, Ludovico Einaudi, Leonard Cohen, Pink Floyd, Foreigner, Sting, Black Sabbath, Christy Moore, Nickelback, Mika, Aqua, Pet Shop Boys, Sia, and many more.

I love music videos with slutty-looking women in them, like Ke$ha. Yum.

I often like to listen to one song over and over and over and over and...yeah. I've probably watched the video for Starstrukk more than five hundred times in two weeks.

I think Inception is highly overrated.

Actors: Jim Carrey, Jackie Chan, Johnny Depp, Nicolas Cage, Hugh Jackman, Eddie Murphy, Morgan Freeman, Robin Williams, Adam Sandler, Tim Curry, Jason Statham, Vin Diesel

Movie genres: science fiction / action / comedy / drama / animated / thriller / tearjerker / horror / cheesy b-movies, and some foreign stuff.

I bawled my eyes out watching Bridge to Terabithia in the cinema, and was still crying ten minutes after I left. It's one of the best movies I've ever seen. Much the same with The Perks of Being a Wallflower.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Freedom. Of mind, of body, of expression.
The ability to connect with people.
Shiny things.
The Game of Thrones theme music.
Fuck your arbitrary numerical restrictions!
Also, pizza.

A lot of people put 'sex' on here but that would be a bit silly for me as I've gone most of my life without it, albeit not necessarily by choice.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How honest I can be here without scaring everyone off.

Philosophy, the (lack of) meaning of life, psychology, how much it sucks that karma isn't real, obsessing over mistakes. Efficiency. Usability. Language & communication. Utopia. Dystopia. Banana milkshakes.

How people will provide information based almost entirely on how it's asked, for example how so many on here will publicly share their masturbation habits and sexual proclivities when almost none of them would put such information directly on their profile or any other public space.

Why people, women mostly, who are of perfectly average height think they're super short.

Why people are arseholes.

Why why why?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making the world a better place, brightening the day of a random stranger. Join me, and together we'll be unstoppable!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I like catgirls. Like, a lot.

I lost my virginity at age 35.

When I see cute things I squee like a teenage girl.

I once decided to kill myself.

The word 'twatwaffle' amuses me.

I identify very strongly with movie scenes about trust and protection, like with a strong person protecting someone weak or vulnerable, and the bond they end up sharing. These scenes make me bawl my eyes out.

I'm semi-paranoid (it's not really paranoia if it's justified).

I'm a brony.

I may have masturbated to your photos.

I'm an intensely emotional person at times, and extremely cold and aloof at others. This has both positives and negatives. I'll probably end up either really liking you, being completely indifferent to you, or not being able to stand your presence.

Sometimes I really, really need a shoulder to cry on, and I don't have one.

Too much?

"The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return"

Love and friendship are the driving forces in my life. There is nothing I wouldn't do for those few people close to my heart. I need people in my life who can appreciate this, and ideally share it.

I dislike many people, but hate few. Even those who have screwed me over and betrayed me, I know there is much good they can do.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
The more of these the better:

You appreciate good spelling and punctuation, you can correctly use 'your' and 'you're', and you agree that 'ur' and 'ppl' are abominations, not words. In short, be at least as good at English as my ex's twelve year old kid. This is actually rarer than you might think.

You're weird, slightly insane, broken, or fucked in the head.

You like massages and cuddles.

You use bigger words and/or you're smarter than me.

You go "nawwwww" when you see cute things.

You're sex-positive and hate slut shaming.

You're LGBTQIALMNOP-friendly and supportive

You think my profile should be longer.

You dislike cliches and stereotyping.

You don't believe in karma, or that "everything happens for a reason."

You don't describe yourself as "having morals and values." That always seems to mean "I'm prejudiced and judgemental."

You don't smoke, don't want/have small children, aren't a vegan crusader, and don't get pushy with astrology, religion, psychics, faith healers, or any related or similar bullshit.

You don't keep going unreachable for a week or more at a time. COMMUNICATE!

I'm generally attracted to weird, outrageous, highly intelligent women much younger than myself as those my age tend to be BORING. If you're the exception to the norm, feel free to apply within.

Beyond that...I love linguistic creativity, enthusiasm, nerdiness, honesty, and hilarity. And the Oxford comma. And sentences beginning with 'and.'

If you're brilliant, crazy, outrageous, manic, hilarious, wide-eyed with wonder, and don't smoke, I'll probably love you to bits.