I only want to talk to people who are positive about online dating, if you think the percentages, match questions, writing messages or other practical functions of the site are negligible then we aren't compatible.
If I’ve addressed a topic I consider important, I am not going to be nice about any attempt you make to lower my standards.
I am a polyamorous femmegeek tomboy hybrid, I LOVE comic book conventions. I've been attending Philly Wizard World since 2008, Wicked Faire since 2008 or 2009, and Dorian's Parlor since June 2010; Steampunk World's Fair 2013, and Gilded Festival 2013, I'm passionate about steampunk. I had a fantastic time at DragonCon 2015, I'm going to PonyCon in 2016, and will be performing in the Philadelphia Renaissance Faire April 23, 24, 30, and May 1.I'm also really excited about being "accepted into Magischola Wizarding School" (It's a wizarding LARP in Richmond, VA, they have a Kickstarter).
In case you missed it, I am polyamorous, if this bothers or intimidates you, take this into consideration because this is the long term arrangement, it's not a phase, and it's not something I'm doing until I find someone to "settle down with".
I. Don't. Settle.
I'm not into swinging, dating couples, or cuckolding, I'm selective, I take my relationships seriously, and I'm committed to my partners knowing what's going on because I communicate with them.
I'm a skeptic, but if there's going to be a revolution, I hope it's a Bohemian one, because I'm willing to fight for Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and Love. My biggest personal contradiction is that I'm cynical and jaded, but I'm probably a relentless romantic in denial because I really do believe that the greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. I relate heavily to the Audrey Hepburn quote "I was born with an enormous need for affection, and a terrible need to give it."
Some days I can quote Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, and Gloria Steinem, on others it's Animal House and Ren & Stimpy. I like camping, hiking, and the outdoors, but if the Charmin bears aren't shitting in the woods neither am I.
I love storytelling; good communication* is something I do not take lightly- I have much to say and I am never impressed by those who have nothing to say. I love the arts- literature, music, museums, theater- especially theater, I pine for the stage.
I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and honest to a fault. Nothing earns my trust like honesty (full, open disclosure without loopholes, blind spots, or playing 20 questions), consistency, and dedication to the free will of maintaining a relationship that we both want and are consenting to.
I am looking for quality boyfriend material, someone who has time to date and is open to having a relationship.
I'm looking for non-hierarchical, loving relationships with men who are confident, fun, honest, and articulate; I get along well with female partners/metamours who are also confident and honest, and who are good-natured toward other women- I practice polyamory that allows all partners involved to experience the full spectrum of physical and emotional attachment- no second-class partners, no power trips, no assuming that we are unique credits to our gender and "other" men/women are awful. I believe that love happens and lasts when we weigh the positive traits of a person we like with more value than we weigh their flaws, otherwise we can never see the true value of a person let alone be romantically compatible with them.
Mystery and anonymity are turn offs.
For the D&Ders out there- I am looking for a man wants someone to quest with not someone he will quest for, I want to be your partner, another adventurer in your party, not the quest giver and not the damsel in distress. I don't need a man with a hero complex and a misguided, outdated sense of "honor". And on that note, I'm not interested in guys who are NPCs, if your profile talks about how "words/text can't really describe you" or how you "can't be summarized", then you are an NPC. It means that you are an incomplete character, your personality has not been written or developed, you are the lazy extra in the crowd.
*I define "good communication" as: carefully considered articulation of one's thoughts, plans, feelings, and opinions; complete honesty and full disclosure without "semantic loopholes", as well as clear standards of definitions for words and concepts. This also means direct statements that provide clear answers, especially about things that you do/not want to do, I prefer candor over roundabout excuses that I have to translate to be considerate of you.
I flunked out of Temple University's Speech Pathology Program a few years ago because of my anxiety and depression. I like working, I can't afford to go to school anyway, and my mental health really can't manage both.
I used to work at a museum, I was a gatekeeper for a dinosaur exhibit and child whisperer, it's a tough act to follow. Now I work at a popular bar in Old City, and I really love it, I would also love to work full time without having to have two jobs. I also work with a company that hires me to dress up like a princess to entertain at parties for children, it's awesome!
I'm trying to find another partner who meets my standards rather than expecting me to lower them. I look at match questions, if you're concerned about how groomed I am, whether I'm going to burn a flag, or any other nonsense that puts you below 85%, you are expecting me to lower my standards, which isn't going to happen.
*For the definition and usage of the term "dickstump" visit this blog
"Liking" people in Quickmatch, then cancelling the "Like" when I see the person is a smoker.
Movies: (By Year)
The Philadelphia Story, Cover Girl, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Funny Face, Some Like It Hot, Animal House, The Muppet Movie, The Blues Brothers, Labyrinth, Spaceballs, Tank Girl, The Fifth Element, Big Fish, Howl's Moving Castle, The Stepford Wives, MirrorMask, Stranger Than Fiction, Let Me In, The Cabin in the Woods, Brave, Guardians of the Galaxy
Shows: Mork & Mindy, The Muppet Show, I Love Lucy, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, The Addams Family, Parks & Rec, Star vs. the Forces of Evil, Steven Universe, Classic Nicktoons/Cartoon Network.
Music: Arcati Crisis, Lindsey Stirling (I want to LIVE in her world), The Dresden Dolls, Psyche Corporation, 1920s music (as heard on WHRO), This Way to the Egress, Laura Shay, Idina Menzel, P!nk, Bette Midler, Billy Joel.
Food: I love when people want to cook for me or take me out because I hate cooking. My favorite restaurant is That's Amore in Collingswood, NJ (some of THE best Italian food I've ever had). My food favorites are cheesesteaks, pasta, pizza, Chickie's & Pete's crab fries with cheese, GooGoo Clusters, Whirly Berley candy bars, and Franklin Fountain root beer floats
Comic Books: X-Men, Gotham City Sirens, Harley Quinn, Black Canary, Zenesope's Fairy Tales and Wonderland series.
Entertainment- books, music, movies, people!
Food- this seems obvious, but no, I really LOVE food! I take eating more seriously than some other people it seems- I don't eat food that I don't like, I like to relax while eating, and I communicate very clearly about when I need to eat within a two hour range, mostly because I used to starve, while working in a restaurant!
Freedom, Truth, and Love
Friends/Loved Ones- I'm a social addict, I thrive being around a lot of people. The emotional support is also invaluable to me, because remembering the kind words of friends is one of the best ways to stop some of the nonsense that clutters my thoughts sometimes.
Abreva- I have gotten cold sores/fever blisters since I was a child.
How our culture values "niceness" and "Guess Culture" over honesty and direct communication, and where people stand in that spectrum...
That OKC's previous equation featuring a Mandatory value for match questions was MUCH more accurate (giving an enormous 250 points to questions of this rank, as opposed to a 50 point value for "Very Important" rankings). Unless "Very Important" values are now some new, but still proportionately high value above "somewhat important" then there isn't a reliable way to discern a user who would earn a legitimate "A" in compatibility from a user who would score a "B". It's basically dating's worst grading curve.
Why people on this site don't fill in the "smoking" option of the details section. Seriously, it's like people will tell you the most trivial details about themselves but think that filling in their smoking habits is a waste of time?
Why people covet their jealousy, are selfish enough to expect one person to fulfill their every need, and settle for less than the maximum amount of love they can give/receive by only believing in "the one"...
How, contrary to popular studies, I believe my life is better because my parents broke up when I was a child...it's my father's second marriage that messed me up. ...Consequently I spend a lot of time thinking about how to not mess up kids' lives, and it is actually one of the few fears I have.
Sometimes I go to awesome conventions and end up on podcasts like this one, Pedestrian Podcast is amazing, in case you haven't heard.
I also, recently tested positive for Human Papillomavirus (HPV), the strain I have puts me at risk for cervical cancer. I thought I was making safe decisions, which means I have to reset my boundaries to be safer, I'm more afraid that it was transmitted via someone I trusted in a long-term relationship and not from someone I was only with a few times. And think twice before you tell someone you're clean, there is no test for men, you could be spreading it and not even know.
Here is a good opportunity to specify (again) that I am polyamorous, and it's not going away.
I sometimes have anxiety attacks or mild depression, I am currently in therapy. My therapist sucks so I end up doing a lot of the work and psychoanalyzing on my own, which sometimes means fixating on my problems to work them out. I spend a lot of time trying to stay mentally healthy, sometimes this means sleeping a lot, or not drinking alcohol. It also means that I pay a lot of attention to my mood, I think a lot about why I feel the way I do and what fuels the thoughts that go through my head, I value being rational and reasonable as much as possible.
I'm messy and I'm always late.
You are Polyamorous (as in open to loving multiple partners), and your wife/girlfriend is also poly. Seriously, your partner HAS to be on board or I can't have a romantic/physical relationship with you. When you are/she is in denial about this, I'm the one who gets hurt/voted off the island. I have a high standard of poly-positivity, this includes being open-minded; able to share; an articulate, informative communicator; self-confident; honest and forthright about relationship expectations/limitations (rules/ lack of rules); and responsible for your own time management and scheduling.
I'm looking for a partner who can keep double booking, plan cancellations, and checking in with others for every plan to a minimum. A shareable electronic calendar is an extremely valuable tool, start one, stick to it, and hold people accountable when they don’t update it.
Intelligence is sexy. I also love to laugh and making other people laugh, I'm not afraid to be ridiculous for comedy, so I hope you're willing to be silly too.
If you want to date me you'll have to say so, and if I want to date you I'll say so. Also I have a narrow view of the definition of "date/dating", the purpose is to determine if attraction is possible and desired and pursuing that attraction in the form of a relationship.
You are sex-positive AND believe in consent. My enthusiasm is usually clearly expressed, I am not afraid to initiate or reciprocate physical contact if I’m attracted to you. I like when men are not afraid to be affectionate with/close to me, all of the best first kisses I’ve ever had were initiated by my date.
Match percentages matter! Your profile page is your dating resume, and your message is your cover letter. Being poly doesn't mean that this isn't a competitive field, if you don't want to put the effort into this site, then you probably don't want a relationship with me.
I'm into Dr. Daniel Jackson (SG-1), John Sheppard (Atlantis), David Tennant- Tenth Doctor and Rory Williams-Pond (Doctor Who), Gambit (X-Men: The Animated Series), Gomez Addams types.
If you're looking for a babysitter who is not going to be weird about your alternative lifestyle. I'm great with kids, all fears about kids expressed in this profile are strictly internal based on my own psychological wounds from having damaging adults in my life. I have a pretty high success rate of kids being magnetically drawn to me and they decide I pass for acceptable "adult supervision".
Please do not message me if you are any of the following:
A smoker, racist, homophobic, extremely religious/spiritual, sex-negative/slut-shaming, or a misogynist.
Conflict-avoidant, indirect, passive communicators tend to hate me or the rest of my former polycule. We never asked anyone to sell their soul to become friends with us, we're either compatible with you or we're not. As adults, one of the perks is deciding who we actually hang out with.
I don't want to get high with you, I don't want to hear about your penis, and I don't want to be propositioned for one night stands, threesomes, modeling, or anything to do with 50 Shades of Grey.