Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


30 Philadelphia, PA Woman


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Men
  • Ages 24–35
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 4:27pm
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Gemini, and it’s fun to think about
Dropped out of university
Rather not say
Open relationship
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am not concise, I talk a lot.
I only want to talk to people who are positive about online dating, if you think the percentages, match questions, writing messages or other practical functions of the site are negligible then we aren't compatible.
If I’ve addressed a topic I consider important, I am not going to be nice about any attempt you make to lower my standards.

I am a polyamorous femmegeek tomboy hybrid, I LOVE comic book conventions (I've been attending Philly Wizard World since 2008, Wicked Faire since 2008 or 2009, and Dorian's Parlor since June 2010; Steampunk World's Fair 2013, and Gilded Festival 2013, I'm passionate about steampunk.

In case you missed it, I am polyamorous, I'm not into swinging or cuckolding. I was in a long-term relationship wfenza for four years (I guess that means I've got references?), and am in a new, amazing relationship with RainCuddles. If this bothers or intimidates you, take this into consideration because this is the long term arrangement. What you should be thinking about is what you have to offer, I like variety but I also enjoy having a lot of what I like- in the words of Madonna/Breathless Mahoney "I'm so happy with what I got, I want more!".

On a good day I can quote Albert Einstein, Marilyn Monroe, and Gloria Steinem, on a not so good day well I guess it's Animal House and Ren & Stimpy. I like camping, hiking, and the outdoors, but if the Charmin bears aren't shitting in the woods neither am I.

I love storytelling; good communication* is something I do not take lightly- I have much to say and I am never impressed by those who have nothing to say. I love the arts- literature, music, museums, theater- especially theater, I pine for the stage.

I'm a skeptic, but if there's going to be a revolution, I hope it's a Bohemian one, because I'm willing to fight for Freedom, Beauty, Truth, and Love.
I am fiercely loyal to my friends, and honest to a fault. Nothing earns my trust like honesty (full, open disclosure without loopholes, blind spots, or playing 20 questions), consistency, and dedication to the free will of maintaining a relationship that we both want and are consenting to.

I am looking for quality boyfriend material, someone who has time to date and is open to having a relationship.
I'm looking for non-hierarchical, loving relationships with men who are confident, fun, honest, and articulate; I get along well with female partners/metamours who are also confident and honest, and who are good-natured toward other women- I practice polyamory that allows all partners involved to experience the full spectrum of physical and emotional attachment- no second-class partners, no power trips, no assuming that we are unique credits to our gender and "other" men/women are awful.
Mystery and anonymity are turn offs.
For the D&Ders out there- I am looking for a man wants someone to quest with not someone he will quest for, I want to be your partner, another adventurer in your party, not the quest giver and not the damsel in distress. I don't need a man with a hero complex and a misguided, outdated sense of "honor". And on that note, I'm not interested in guys who are NPCs, if your profile talks about how "words/text can't really describe you" or how you "can't be summarized", then you are an NPC. It means that you are an incomplete character, your personality has not been written or developed, you are the lazy extra in the crowd.

*I define "good communication" as: carefully considered articulation of one's thoughts, plans, feelings, and opinions; complete honesty and full disclosure, no semantic loopholes and clear standards of definitions for words and concepts; direct statements that provide clear answers, especially about things that you do/not want to do, I prefer candor over roundabout excuses that I have to translate to be considerate of you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am a writer and a performer. I write fiction- mostly fantasy and horror, some historic fiction/steampunk (no, I'm not published). I perform in plays and was recently in a burlesque troupe. And I will be performing at the Philly Ren Faire at Fairmount Park in May.

I flunked out of Temple University's Speech Pathology Program a few years ago because of my anxiety and depression. I like working, I can't afford to go to school anyway, and my mental health really can't manage both.

I used to work at a museum, I was a gatekeeper for a dinosaur exhibit and child whisperer, it's a tough act to follow. I work at a popular bar in Old City, and I really love it, I would also love to work full time without having to have two jobs. I also work with a company that hires me to dress up like a princess to entertain at parties for children, it's awesome!

I'm trying to find another partner who meets my standards rather than expecting me to lower them. I look at match questions, if you're concerned about how groomed I am, whether I'm going to burn a flag, or any other nonsense that puts you below 85%, you are expecting me to lower my standards, which isn't going to happen.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Writing, making costumes, crafts, acting (I'm told), talking (it still surprises me how inadequate some people are at talking), working with kids, trivia and word games like Catch Phrase, being exuberant, entertaining kids (Especially by dressing up like a princess), listening to people without judging, making people smile, speaking honestly and directly- including saying things that provoke males to be dickstumps*.

*For the definition and usage of the term "dickstump" visit this blog

"Liking" people in Quickmatch, then cancelling the "Like" when I see the person is a smoker.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People usually notice that I am loud, energetic, and talkative but easy to talk to. As for aesthetics, I suppose they notice my height because I'm 5'2 with a big personality.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: His Dark Materials- Philip Pullman; Wicked- Gregory Maguire; Feminist Fairytales- Barbara Walker; Dance of the Dissident Daughter- Sue Monk Kidd; The Importance of Being Earnest, Oscar Wilde; The Canterbury Tales- Geoffrey Chaucer. Authors in general- Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Alan Poe, William Shakespeare (Comedies).

Movies: (By Year)
The Philadelphia Story, Cover Girl, Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, Funny Face, Some Like It Hot, Animal House, The Muppet Movie, The Blues Brothers, Labyrinth, Spaceballs, Tank Girl, The Fifth Element, Big Fish, Howl's Moving Castle, The Stepford Wives, MirrorMask, Stranger Than Fiction, Let Me In, The Cabin in the Woods, Brave, Guardians of the Galaxy

Shows: Mork & Mindy, The Muppet Show, I Love Lucy, Doctor Who, The Twilight Zone, The Addams Family, Parks & Rec, Classic Nicktoons/Cartoon Network.

Music: Arcati Crisis, Lindsey Stirling (I want to LIVE in her world), The Dresden Dolls, Psyche Corporation, 1920s music (as heard on WHRO), This Way to the Egress, Laura Shay, Idina Menzel, P!nk, Bette Midler, Billy Joel.

Food: I love when people want to cook for me or take me out because I hate cooking. My favorites are cheesesteaks, pasta, pizza, Chickie's & Pete's crab fries with cheese, GooGoo Clusters, Whirly Berley candy bars, and Franklin Fountain root beer floats

Comic Books: X-Men, Gotham City Sirens, Harley Quinn, Black Canary, Zenesope's Fairy Tales and Wonderland series.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Writing Supplies- I can't just leave my thoughts and imaginings buzzing around inside my head, I can either stay up all night writing or sleep poorly from dreaming all night, but mostly I just love telling stories!
Entertainment- books, music, movies, people!
Food- this seems obvious, but no, I really LOVE food! I take eating more seriously than some other people it seems- I don't eat food that I don't like, I like to relax while eating, and I communicate very clearly about when I need to eat within a two hour range, mostly because I used to starve, while working in a restaurant!
Freedom, Truth, and Love
Friends/Loved Ones- I'm a social addict, I thrive being around a lot of people. The emotional support is also invaluable to me, because remembering the kind words of friends is one of the best ways to stop some of the nonsense that clutters my thoughts sometimes.
Comfortable shoes
Abreva- I have gotten cold sores/fever blisters since I was a child.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Writing, books, costumes, steampunk, zombies, school, horror movies, comic books...
How much I hate being called "cute" and "cutie", don't do it, this is usually the part of my profile where I can tell someone isn't reading this...
How our culture values "niceness" over honesty and where people stand in that spectrum...

Why some men ignore what my profile says, and how I can either educate or ignore them in return...

That OKC's previous equation featuring a Mandatory value for match questions was MUCH more accurate (giving an enormous 250 points to questions of this rank, as opposed to a 50 point value for "Very Important" rankings). Unless "Very Important" values are now some new, but still proportionately high value above "somewhat important" then there isn't a reliable way to discern a user who would earn a legitimate "A" in compatibility from a user who would score a "B". It's basically dating's worst grading curve.

Why people are so concerned with *my* body hair...

Why people on this site don't fill in the "smoking" option of the details section. Seriously, it's like people will tell you the most trivial details about themselves but think that filling in their smoking habits is a waste of time?

Why people covet their jealousy, are selfish enough to expect one person to fulfill their every need, and settle for less than the maximum amount of love they can give/receive by only believing in "the one"...

How, contrary to popular studies, I believe my life is better because my parents broke up when I was a's my father's second marriage that messed me up. ...Consequently I spend a lot of time thinking about how to not mess up kids' lives, and it is actually one of the few fears I have.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Going on a date, seeing a movie or a play (preferably the latter), making costumes, performing, spending time with my friends.

Sometimes I go to awesome conventions and end up on podcasts like this one, Pedestrian Podcast is amazing, in case you haven't heard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
The least important, least private thing on this list is that I am messy. I've always been messy, I thrive in creative chaos and feel disoriented and isolated when my room is clean or when spaces are too bare. On top of that, I don't learn my lesson because my belongings seldom get lost or broken, 85% or more of the time I know where my stuff is which is less true when I put things away.

I don't answer some of the match questions that pertain to sex, because I don't need unsolicited messages from people wanting to replace or compete with my sex toys, or messages from people who think my sexual preferences are a "challenge" they want to take on to change my mind. These topics are things I prefer to discuss with people who I trust and feel comfortable with like friends, and with people I am sexually interested in.

Here is a good opportunity to specify (again) that I am polyamorous, and it's not going away.

I sometimes have anxiety attacks or mild depression, I am currently in therapy. I spend a lot of time trying to stay mentally healthy, sometimes this means sleeping a lot, or not drinking alcohol. It also means that I pay a lot of attention to my mood, I think a lot about why I feel the way I do and what fuels the thoughts that go through my head, I value being rational and reasonable as much as possible.

I have HSV-1, yes that's herpes, you might call it a "fever blister" or "cold sores" but let's be mature, this is not just sexually transmitted, most people don't know they have HSV even if they have outbreaks, just do everyone a favor and don't let little kids share cups with you or whatever.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are all of the things that follow on this list AND you want to cook/buy dinner for me (It totally worked for my current partner of four years!)
You are Polyamorous (as in open to loving multiple partners), and your wife/girlfriend is also poly. Seriously, your partner HAS to be on board or I can't have a romantic relationship with you. When you are/she is in denial about this, I'm the one who gets hurt/voted off the island. I have a high standard of poly-positivity, this includes being open-minded; able to share; an articulate, informative communicator; self-confident; honest and forthright about relationship expectations/limitations (rules/ lack of rules); and responsible for your own time management and scheduling.

You actually have time to date. To me, there is a big difference between "I have a busy schedule, so I don't know when I'll get to see you/won't get to see you much" as opposed to "I really like you and we (might) connect really well, but I'm too busy for you/won't ever try to find time for you". If you're the former, I've worked jobs with unpredictable schedules, so I really understand when people have busy or unpredictable schedules, but please be proactive about scheduling your free time. People work, people have school, family commitments, other partners, etc. I'm looking for a partner who can keep double booking, plan cancellations, and checking in with others for every plan to a minimum. A shareable electronic calendar is an extremely valuable tool, start one, stick to it, and hold people accountable when they don’t update it
Of the ways I do consider myself high maintenance, expectations on date activities is not one of them. I like hanging out in a comfortable home watching movies and playing board games, as long as we're taking turns at each other's houses, and occasionally going out to do things when weather/finances/scheduling permit.

Intelligence is sexy. I also love to laugh and making other people laugh, I'm not afraid to be ridiculous for comedy, so I hope you're willing to be silly too.

If you want to date, I prefer that you say so. If you’re looking for friendship/poly community, then say that. If you’re not sure, then I am going to assume you are comfortable being friends, if I am interested in dating you at that point, then I will tell you.

You are sex-positive AND believe in consent. My enthusiasm is usually clearly expressed, I am not afraid to initiate or reciprocate physical contact if I’m attracted to you. I like when men are not afraid to be affectionate with/close to me, all of the best first kisses I’ve ever had were initiated by my date. (If you tend to be on the shy/introverted side: holding my hand, sitting close to me, hugging will get the message across that you like me, otherwise silence and physical distance will suggest that I’m too aggressive and going to scare you.)

Match percentages matter! Your profile page is your dating resume, and your message is your cover letter. Being poly doesn't mean that this isn't a competitive field, if you don't want to put the effort into this site, then you probably don't want a relationship with me.

I'm into Dr. Daniel Jackson (SG-1), John Sheppard (Atlantis), David Tennant- Tenth Doctor and Rory Williams-Pond (Doctor Who), Gambit (X-Men: The Animated Series), Gomez Addams types. It's probably worth mentioning that my current partner wfenza is easily a mix of C.K. Dexter Haven (Cary Grant, The Philadelphia Story) and Algernon from The Importance of Being Earnest. I think that Ben Wyatt, Andy Dwyer, and Ron Swanson could easily add up to the perfect man, but only in the right personality combinations which I'd be willing to explain in a conversation.

If you want to hire a Princess to come to your child's party/event!
If you're looking for a babysitter who is not going to be weird about your alternative lifestyle. I'm great with kids, all fears about kids expressed in this profile are strictly internal based on my own psychological wounds from having damaging adults in my life. I have a pretty high success rate of kids being magnetically drawn to me and they decide I pass for acceptable "adult supervision".

Please do not message me if you are any of the following:
A smoker, racist, homophobic, extremely religious/spiritual, sex-negative/slut-shaming, or a misogynist. Also, conflict-avoidant, indirect, passive communicators tend to hate me or the rest of my polycule. We've never asked anyone to sell their soul to become friends with us, we're either compatible with you or we're not, we're adults, one of the perks is deciding who we actually hang out with.
I don't want to get high with you, I don't want to hear about your penis, and I don't want to be propositioned for one night stands, threesomes, modeling, or anything to do with 50 Shades of Grey.