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30 M Southampton, UK

I’m looking for

  • Everybody
  • Ages 18–99
  • Near me
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 10:05pm
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Cancer, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Doesn’t want kids
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
[I'm not single and not looking. New friends always welcome though]

I wrote the following in what I would guess is the order of importance for people wanting to know me. I've expressed a few moral and political stances, but I don't require people to agree with me on everything I write.


I'm introverted, reserved and often described as 'quiet'. I tend to prefer talking to people I know in small groups than being in large crowds of people I don't know.

I find most things interesting. I'd rather have a conversation about stamps or trains than listen to idle gossip about who is sleeping with whom. I do have a blind spot for sports though, which tends to make my eyes glaze over.

I'm more likely to enjoy a positive conversation about what someone loves, than a conversation about what (or who) someone hates.

I'd rather have a conversation with someone I disagree with but who has a good/interesting argument for why they believe what they do, than have a conversation with someone who shares my beliefs but without having ever thought about why they believe what they believe.

My Myers-Briggs Personality Type is INTJ.


I have a simple morality based on valuing happiness, thus I consider all people are equally valuable in moral terms because we all have equal capacity for happiness, as well as for suffering.

I'm entirely opposed to pointless suffering, by which I mean any suffering that does not serve any purpose. I don't think anyone should be caused or allowed to suffer purely and solely for the purposes of retribution.

Sometimes we (regrettably and hopefully not often) do need to behave in a way that causes someone to suffer, but only if we have very good reasons to do so.

More on my moral positions -here-


My politics is (in theory) reducible down to the preservation of liberty; the state's purpose is to help us live together in such a way that we can all live in (so far as is possible) according to our own goals, beliefs and values.

More on my political positions -here-


I don't believe in any form of deity, nor in anything supernatural, but I don't think people can be assumed to be stupid if they do believe in such things. That being said, my opinion of obvious superstition is not favourable.

In most ways, I'm your pretty standard secular atheist, but I'm not technically a materialist... more on that at my website
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I graduated from a philosophy degree at the University of Southampton back in 2007. I now work at the University of Southampton in the admissions department.

In my spare time I enjoy a lot of different things. As well as the usual nights in with friends, parties and nightclubs I also enjoy camping, LAN parties, board games, roleplay-games and wargames :o)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Favourite Hobbies

Computer games, especially Adventure Games (Monkey Island), RTS (Starcraft), any world-building game (Civilisation), or RPGs (Fallout). Board games like versions of Risk and Settlers of Catan. Wargaming, in particular Gamesworkshop games like Necromunda or Blood Bowl. Roleplay games, especially White Wolf's World of Darkness line(mostly Vampire: The Masquerade and Hunter: The Reckoning).

Exploring unusual places, especially caves and abandoned mines. Clubbing at various events in Southampton and London. House Parties tend to be fun.

I'm also quite interested in Philosophy, Theology and Sociology.

Favourite Music

I've got fairly wide tastes in music. As a child, I liked a lot of Classic Rock from The Beatles to Led Zeppelin. As a teenager, I was more into Industrial Rock bands like Marilyn Manson or Disturbed. At university I got more into Goth bands like Siouxsie and the Banshees or Sisters of Mercy. I also listen to some Glam Rock and Synthpop type bands like David Bowie and Human League. There's a lot of very good music out there so it wouldn't make sense to me to listen to only a handful of genres.

Favourite Films

Some of my favourite films are the ones I watched as a child and can be nostalgic about, like Flight of Dragons, Labyrinth, Last Unicorn, Watership Down and the Dark Crystal. I think I've got more sci-fi, like The Matrix, and fantasy, like Pans Labyrinth, in my DVD collection than anything else but there are definitely films that aren't either that I think are great, like Doubt or Boy in the Striped Pyjamas. I'm a fan of some of the better comic book adaptations, like Nolan's new Batman films. I tend to think I've got fairly wide tastes; most films are fairly enjoyable if you're prepared to enjoy them for what they are rather than hold them up to the standards of your favourites.

Favourite TV Shows

My taste in tv mostly mirrors my taste in films. I like a lot of sci-fi shows like Star Trek (the later ones more than the older ones), the new Battlestar Gallatica (although I didn't like the ending), Doctor Who (again, new series more than the old), etc. I admittedly can't think of many high fantasy/sword and sorcery type tv shows that I enjoy watching. Fantasy stories set in the modern era is a bit different, shows about the supernatural like Being Human, Ultraviolet or Angel/Buffy can be fun (I realise that those are all very types of shows in a very broad genre!). I'm not sure where Lost fits (fantasy?) but I'm a bit fan of shows like that. Life on Mars deserves a mention but, again, not sure what genre I'd describe it as :oP I also watch a fairly typical range of comedy... Futurama, Peep Show, Extras, Spaced...

Favourite Books

Tolkien's Lord of the Rings and Frank Herbert's Dune are probably my two favourite books, both being fairly iconic books for the fantasy and sci-fi genres respectively. James Herbert's Domain is probably my favourite horror book, although I don't tend to read much in that genre any more. I enjoy reading a lot of Games Workshop's Black Library novels; I enjoyed Ian Watson's Inquisition Wars trilogy as a child but I think Dan Abnett's books are the best of the bunch at the moment (although I'm not keen on the way he writes women). Outside of W40k, I quickly worked my way through the majority of Iain M Bank's culture books after being introduced to them. I also quite liked the first three Vampire Chronicles novels by Anne Rice, although I don't normally read much vampire fiction and I'm led to believe the rest deteriorate in quality.

There's also a few non-fiction books that I'm quite keen on, pretty much all of them philosophical. Immanuel Kant's Critique of Pure Reason was one of the most influential books I read during university. I found George Berkeley's 'Three Dialogues' quite fun too. Jeremy Bentham's 'Principles of Morals and Legislation', David Hume's 'Enquiries and Dialogues Concerning Natural Religion', Thomas Kuhn's 'The Structure of Scientific Revolutions' and Thomas Hobbes' 'Leviathan' all deserve mentioning too.
You should message me if
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I'm seeing someone and not looking for anything more. New friends are always welcome though. :)


One or more of the following descriptions seems to fit:

1) You're a bit geeky and want someone to play miniature war/board/computer games with.

2) You find politics and/or philosophy interesting and fancy chatting about it with someone.

3) You like Goth/Industrial music and want to meet someone to spend time with at club events.

4) You like camping and exploring and want to meet someone to go exploring abandoned mines, old caves, ghost towns and derelict buildings with.

5) You're a poly person who thinks that I seem interesting and we seem to have broadly similar attitudes/values.

I do not want to meet people who are overtly and unapologetically sexist, racist, transphobic, homophobic, anti-feminist (etc). I don't expect people to be perfect embodiments of social justice but I don't want to spend my time feeling offended and angry either.

Okchoices tags:  Genderqueer,  Heteroflexible &  Polyamorous