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48 Royal Tunbridge Wells, UK Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 11:09am
White, Other
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Graduated from university
Entertainment / Media
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Has a kid

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
One of my female friends described me as 'romantic and idealistic with a short fuse'. That's fairly close to the mark. The short fuse bit happens increasingly rarely...
I'm a writer, a journalist, an occasional (these days) broadcaster. I’ve been a foreign correspondent (fantastic fun), lived on a boat, played in bands, got up to all sorts of crazy shit for which I probably should have been arrested but either through being smart or plain lucky managed not to and generally had a good time.
These days I have a communications agency which is what makes me a living. I live in a beautiful house out in the sticks but like to spread my wings and hang out in cool cities, enjoy the ambience, the food, the culture… I am a big fan of airbnb – way better than booking a hotel.
One of the things I really like about journalism is the way it brings you into contact with the widest group of people imaginable, especially when working abroad. It probably reflects my attitude towards people. My relationships are coloured by interests and personality rather than background. I made a lot of friends while working in SE Asia and our shared interests always seemed to bridge any differences.
I enjoy reading immensely – I think many writers are avid consumers of the written word. It’s almost a prerequisite. I’m quite bookish. I love ideas. However I find intellectual snobbery pretty offputting. I think almost everyone I’ve met has been able to teach me something – even my seven year old who was adamant that zero is an even number (he was right as it happens, though I argued that zero isn’t a number because it denotes the absence of number – he likes maths, I read philosophy). His mother and I have been separated for six years now but I’m very hands on. It’s occasionally fraught but we generally work things out eventually.
Goals wise I’m not very materialistic but I am fortunate. I like to have fun and new experiences but my tastes are pretty down to earth. And I like to feel I make a difference.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Vascilating between frenzy and torpor. I have a dozen different projects on the go. They do get done. Some are soul projects, others work projects and some are for sheer love. However there are moments when doing so many different things starts to leave me feeling frazzled.
I live in the depths of the countryside in a beautiful 600 year old house. It's too big but I love it. It's the perfect nest from which to fly to every corner of the earth.
By profession I'm a journalist, for filthy lucre I advise companies on their communications, for soul I build things and try to make the world just a little bit better and for sheer love I write, record and broadcast. Right now I'm in talks with a publisher about a series of children's books. Looking good but let's see. [Update Aug 14 - they've made an offer, so subject to negotiations....! :D ; Update Nov 25 three publishers now interested O.o ] And I have to confess I'm itching to get back to where it's all happening to do some reporting. If I can figure out how to make a reasonable income from it and not get blown up...
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
writing, recording, talking, persuading, problem solving and a few things I'd never write about on here
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Eyes, probably, that I'm in good shape and they seem to think I look better in person than in photos... However I don't seem to have many conversations that start 'what was the first thing you noticed about me?' Personally I think that's healthy. Feel free to disagree ;)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Withnail and I, Easy Rider, Night on Earth, Bunuel, Almodovar, Nouvelle vague, blah blah, lots... I also like old British films; Whisky Galore, Passport to Pimlico, I'm Alright Jack! plus classics like Bullitt etc etc

Tales from the City, Jitterbug Perfume, Tom Paine a political life... swathes of biography, beat, countercultural, Austen, Fitzgerald, I have more books than I have space. I find boxes of books I'd forgotten I had... I've also done OKC book experiments since a lot of my high matches have similar and interesting taste. I got quite a few to recommend me three books from which I'd choose and buy one. As a result I finally read Slaughterhouse 5 (masterful) and discovered Murakami (impressed). I write, therefore I read... I read, therefore I write. Lots.

Five Leaves Left, Stand Up, Liege and Lief...oodles of rock, blues and folk. Lately loads of good jazz; Davis, Coltrane, Monk... even early music like Tallis and Allegri. I'm a musician - I like great musicians.

I'm pescatarian, a cowardly way of saying I'm a rubbish vegetarian who eats fish... I cook. I cook quite enthusiastically. I even write about food from time to time and my last radio series was about bread, as it happens - though it was more about what bread tells us about us than it was a series about bread itself. I have even faced down a crowd of Thais on the streets of Bangkok and ate something unbelievably hot without crying while they all stared at me. I did walk very quickly to a shop to buy beer afterwards.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My laptop, which is very sad, my guitar, books, the radio, trees, my son (these need re-ordering)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Oooooo. Now that's a big question. Some of the stuff I spend a lot of time thinking about I'm very careful not to bore people with - international relations, the sustainability of the welfare state, democracy, the reorganisation of education, stable-state I said I'm pretty selective about getting into this with most people. I don't like getting to the eyes glazing over phase.
I've travelled a lot, met an extraordinarily wide selection of people and they've given me a world of things to think over.
I'm also very interested in history, espectially the Long Enlightenment 1632-1832. Try reading Boswell's London Diaries - sounds boring but reads like a column from GQ - all celebrities and sex (and Dr Johnson).
Right now I'm also trying to chill out enough to get ideas for a next novel and the next in a series of childrens' books.
I do think about normal stuff too - food, women, music, lying on my back in a field of long grass watching the clouds pass, that sort of thing, but my thoughts can be a crowded place sometimes. As a result, from time to time, I meditate and try to think about absolutely nothing. (I try....)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Having fun...
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
For some reason a remarkable proportion of the women I have high matches with like Neil Gaiman, Milan Kundera and Haruki Murakami (I've had some great book recommendations) and a lot of them seem to be poly (also v cool).

One of them was also kind enough to send me this: I think it's an amazing way of looking at how one relates to other people. It challenges a lot of the cultural norms we grow up with but, really, why not? Check it out. Think about it.

I wish OKC had options other than straight/bi/gay - even just to leave it blank... straight just sounds boring and proscriptive... meh, one can overthink stuff
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I guess this is where I get to say what sort of people do it for me...
Incredibly intelligent is a good start. I'd describe myself as sapiosexual. Once we've jumped the initial 'you look nice' hurdle your making me work to catch up is beyond sexy. OKC does seem to be particularly good at matching me to super-smart women, and you know what; even if we don't sizzle on an animal level finding thought provoking people to hang out with is also an end in itself - so if you felt the need to message and say 'I don't see us getting involved but I'd love to chat...' that's totally cool.
You'll almost certainly be creative as well - you'll write or paint or play music or some such and you'll get why I have to write and play music (and report). It's part of what makes it worth being alive.
You also get hugely excited by what an amazing place our world is...and could be...and find people endlessly fascinating.
Physical type? Well a large proportion of my exes are petite and dark haired. Redheads I also find gorgeous. But hey it's not a prescriptive thing - ultimately someone sufficiently fascinating will shine though.