"In every real man a child is hidden that wants to play."
--Nietzsche

Here's a hint: don't read any of this more seriously than I intend.

I am equally: Wile E Coyote, Don Quixote, Shakespeare, Socrates, Romeo, Caesar and The Stig.

These are all people (and one coyote) that I admire, respect, seek to emulate, or could out-drive if I had to (except for one--points if you know which one).

If you're unfamiliar with the first two, and don't "get" the others, then you probably won't get me either.

If you think I'm mocking or snide, it's only because you can't see my Cheshire grin.
--Note the arched eyebrow that's all too telling of Quixotic Idealism.

Perhaps you're missing my inner modesty.
--it fuels my perfectly self-effacing manner, enables me to leap tall buildings in a single bound, and polishes my shining knightly armor until its nuclear glare blinds the sun itself.

I am here: to meet people and do interesting things.

I am not really here: to do people and meet interesting things, (I suppose).

I don't drink, but that doesn't mean you can't.

Traits to admire in me: I am Smart/Witty/Clever(er than most), Loyal to Friends, Champion of Lost Causes, Rescuer of Kittens (and ugly birds).

I'm also the finder of remotes, a tuner of cars, solver of problems, the best motorcycle rider ever, and the one true master of All and Nothing
(or nothing at all).

I am perfect in humility, and humble in perfection
(most of the time).

I wrestle thoughts, wrangle words, and commune with cats, cars, and cartoon characters.

Speaking figuratively, I am literally, 100%, without hyperbole or exaggeration, the best thing since bread was sliced.

Maybe.
To someone, somewhere
(other than Mom).

Definitely Top 10.
(Somewhere between Jesus and Elvis to most).

Traits I seek: similar to my own, with the discerning wit and keen perception required to realize when I'm joking, when I'm not, and when I should be; combined with the presence of mind to let me know when it's not clear which is what, or when I'm using the wrong fork to clean the cat box.

Hobbies: Philosophy (as in, the study of, not "my philosophy on cabbage is"), light to heavy debate, long, 4am discussions and rambling coffee-house discourse. I enjoy getting lost in snow-covered woods, and getting found by friendly natives.

I also like long sentences, Cars, motorcycles, high-performance driving, riding & racing (not in a circle--I prefer rally and road racing), gaming (not gambling, not mind), Movies & Film, reading, and I foster pets (cats and dogs). I used to ski, a lot, but can't seem to find the time, snow, or mountains (seriously, this IS a swamp).

Aspirations: Aspire to be the first man on Mars after solving all of this world's various ills, woes and ailments*!
*(not really--but I would like to go to Mars)

I aspire to find enlightenment and humility on my way to perfection (better?)

Personalities I fit with: many, I'm fairly flexible.
(to a point--then things crack, splinter, and probably break).

Personalities I prefer: someone fun to be around, funnny(ish), tolerant of mild idiocy for idiocy's sake, able to drive without imperiling half of society. Able to watch movies with hidden meaning and discuss the deep social commentary, excellent acting, or fart jokes present therein. Ability to have fun with with conversations that can switch topics from Family Guy to Economic Downturns to the Ethical Considerations of Cloning, early Pre-Socratic philosophical movements, and arguing over which is the best episode of TopGear--Actually enjoying such conversations is a major plus.

Please Don't: Smoke, do drugs (see above), or cover my car in vomit.

No cat-haters, no religious zealotry or attempts to convert/revert/save/etc. Leave me to worship my non-religion and I'll not mock yours*.

*(much)

Work: Relocated to the Philly metro area (or so they told me, little did I know that included select areas of New Jersey) from Denver by employer. I work full time, with random travel and the very rare working weekend.

School: Also in graduate school working to finish my doctorate (since "Dr. WileEQuixote" sounds more intellectual than "Mr.").

What I’m doing with my life (overall): contemplating infinity from a finite perspective and with limited time--it's kinda like eating a planet with only one chopstick.

And, I admit, I'm on here because I'm new (to the area, not life), and bored, and not doing as much with my life as I'd like--mostly, it just seems to be sitting there, looking glum and pawing at the window. It yearns to go outside, crap in the neighbor's yard, then run down the block howling and chasing cars.

If you think you have an idea of where we could go/what we could do, and we seem compatible enough to not want to stab each other with lead pencils, let me know...

Everything that I set my mind to, and a few things that I don't.

Off the top of my head: self-deprecating humor, quixotic adventures, quoting movies no one remembers seeing, changing subjects, hanging out, moving around, staying put, listening, talking, writing great papers/articles/profiles (along with horrible poetry and "mine's every bit as amazing as yours" crappy fiction), biting off more than I can chew, chewing more than I can swallow, reading books (and comics), riding/driving (usually rather rapidly but always quite well), sleeping (not combined with riding/driving), staying up all night, driving 'till dawn, getting out of trouble, getting back into it, not paying attention but appearing to, coloring within imaginary lines, finger painting in the air, and more things than I have fingers or toes.

I float on clouds and hurl lightning bolts at fools.

Actually, that's probably second;
I shave my head.

People probably notice that first.

Then the clouds (they're hard to miss).

Books--
Topics: French & German Existentialism, Ancient & Pre-Socratic Philosophy, Modern Philosophy (particularly Just War Theory, Ethics, and Philosophy of Law), Absurdism & Nihilism, every Calvin & Hobbes (cartoon, not the philosophers), Get Fuzzy and "Everybody Poops".
Authors: Miguel de Cervantes (obviously), Mark Twain, Sartre, Camus, Nietzsche, Orwell, Kierkegaard, and other dead men. Genres: Sci-Fi, Graphic Novels (i.e. Comic books), Philosophy, Psychology, Political Science, History.
Comics: Sandman, The Maxx, various Batman, misc Green Lantern, too many X-whatevers, Gunslinger/Dark Tower, HellBoy and more--including Watchmen before it became cool, and Judge Dredd and V for Vendetta before they became movies (not that there's anything wrong with that, per se, but comics lose their obscurity-coolness once everyone thinks they're cool).

Movies--
Everything from Crap (Top Gun/Mad Max) to Pure Crap (Red Dawn/Thunderdome) to Geek Crap (Blade Runner--all 5 versions, Star Wars--originals only, Alien/Predator, Avatar), plus Eccentric Comedy (Monty Python, Life Aquatic, Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead, Brazil, etc.), with some Excellent Foreign Films (Kurosawa), Anime (the 2% that's not complete shit--so no Ranma 1/2, but plenty of Cowboy BeBop and old-school Robotech) and the odd American Classic (Cool Hand Luke) thrown in for good measure.
--Even this list can't capture the full variety of movies I have, can, and will enjoy. I mean, I left out such greats as Unforgiven, Run Lola Run, Pi, Reservoir Dogs, Fight Club, Memento (though really, it's only great the first time--just like Sixth Sense), Seven Samurai; The Good, The Bad & The Ugly; Ran (Kurosawa again) Heat, The Royal Tenenbaums, Dark City, The Conversation, The Jerk, Mad Max (be quiet, critic), Twelve Monkeys, and...{insert more here}

"Feel Good Movies of the Year" and "Romantic Comedies" are to be avoided like the visual Swine Flu that they are.

Music--Whatever's on my iPod, which isn't a lot compared to some people, but which is never polka, rarely Country, and can be everything from Telly Savalas' 1978 classic "Who Loves Ya, Baby?" to Johnny Cash's "Hurt"; with a lot of Blink-182, Green Day, KMFDM, Linkin Park, old Metallica, MSI, NIN, Nirvana, and Beastie Boys in the mix.

Lately, "As the Rush Comes" (by Motorcycle) keeps popping up on my iPod. Kinda reminds me of both riding and that excitement-surge when you're really connecting with someone...hard to explain, so I won't.

Food--whatever I can find, hopefully sushi/sashimi, steak, pizza, or a good burger.

{Fwiw, (and I'll use net slang as I wish, you are, afterall, online--deal with it) I've grown very fond of NJ's blueberries, and had no idea they could grow in a swamp (sorry to call it a swamp, but seriously...)}.

I can cook (grilling and/or pancakes count), but rarely feel motivated to unless forced by hunger pangs and budget cutbacks.

Mostly, I subsist on thinking, or the sustenance found in adrenaline rushes (which isn't much).

Air, water, food, fuel, tires, brakes, and the ability to count to seven.

Everything, Nothing, and Everything Else.

Seriously.

I think about it All, all the time.

Then, I think about Time.
All of it.

Then, somewhere after that, I get tired of thinking the heavy stuff, and I think about going for a drive.

Sometimes, while thinking and driving, I'm also wondering why I can't see in the dark, fly like a falcon, or master the Jedi Mind Trick.

Sometimes, I even think about thinking.
--in the meta sense of thought thinking itself while thinking about thinking.
--not in the "I'm thinking about thinking, but haven't started actually thinking yet".

Typical Fridays include:
wondering--
--how it got to be Friday already,
--what I have to eat in my always-bare kitchen, and whether it's better to just go out, order in, or eat Cocoa Krispies
--what to do tomorrow/for the weekend,
--when Barnes & Noble gets new magazines (I read them all last time)
--why I don't have any tattoos, what they'd be, where I'd put them, and how they'd look at 80;
--where can I go to have some kind of fun (undefined)
--how I can find some minimally engaging conversation
--how to get into some good old-fashioned hooliganry (I like hooliganry).

Then, around 1am comes the internal debate as to whether I should just stay up, or go to bed.

...I usually ask myself the same thing at 2am, 3am, and 4am.

After 4am, I quit asking.

I can taste the difference between an octahedron, dodecahedron, and icosahedron--useful in the dark.

If You have similar interests and We'd be an unstoppable force for Good? (or Evil, as I'm mostly Chaotic Neutral)

You should message me if you've understood that:
--I'm only 51.09% of the ass I portray,
--I'm only as humble as I am arrogant (or the reverse),
--I'm only mad north north-west
--Quoting Shakespeare establishes both my individuality and my keen wit, quoting Nietzsche doubles it.
--I cannot be contained/defined/described merely through OkC's Personality Awards, Percent-Matches, and Tests Taken.

Oh, and you should definitely message me if you found me even remotely amusing and want to lavish me with praise.
(I admit, I like gold stars).

Definitely message me if you would like to go DO something such as (including, but not limited to):
--show me around the area
--showing me something new (your choice)
--rescuing a critter (yours, I have mine)
--traveling to Mars
--saving the world
--watching a movie (yep, un-original, I know, but still...)
--going to a track day
--pulling an all-night discussion
--questing for the perfect pancake
--learning to drive stick
--challenging me with philosophical debate
--heading into the country for a "scenic" drive (in the swamp)
--attending Catholic Mass (not!)
--or even if you just need a buddy to watch your back and cover you with streams of virtual lead in Call of Duty* (I'm pretty good)

*(it's a video game...).

If not, but you still read all of this (which was mostly a filter to weed out the boring people), you should revel in the fact that few read it all, and fewer probably should. Congrats! Have a cookie*!

*may contain nuts.