Well if ain't got a damn dip in my mouth and a 4-stroke rumblin
underneath me I just ain't at home. I'm the best tractor driver in
the tri-county area, some would say. I'm just a backwoods ol'
country boy with a hankerin' for some home made biscuits and kind
miss Elsa's sweet tea! HOO BOY THAT HITS THE SPOT! When I ain't
edgin up a driveway with my reliable old weedeater or bushhoggin a
field in the 100 degree summer sun, you can find me down by the
waterin hole sleeping beside my rod and waiting on a big un' to
bite. Fuck a goddamn run on sentence, i aint give a shit. On the
weekends I like to take my hounds down in the hollar and tree some
squirrels and racoons. Boy can ol Blue howl! Put a shell o'
birdshot in them varmints and fry em up for supper. Hell, then i'll
just kick my heels up and have some a them DEEEEEEEEElightful
frozen peaches from ol todds orchard!
What I’m doing with my life
I tell you what, I barely make a fuckin red cent toiling away
diggin, fixin, mowin, fuckin, paintin and haulin whatever needs to
be done. But by god the satisfaction of a hard days work is all a
man could ever need. When I look down and see these old callused
hands, i know i'm the richest man alive. The lord done made me
rich, yes sir. Guess I need to pay the ol boy back by gettin up one
sunday mornin, puttin on my fineries and headin down to hear the
preacher man preach. Lord knows i try!
I’m really good at
Ropin a cow, whoopin a man's ass, speculatin on the weather, eatin
biscuits, haulin metal down to the scrap yard, writing poetry, weed
eatin around mail boxes, shootin a 12 gauge, respectin my momma,
punchin a goat, drinkin whiskey, healing a goat after it suffered
an unexplained injury, blowin in a jug , bullshittin, line
The first things people usually notice about me
My finely creased bib overalls and fatass dip in my lower lip. Also
my firm handshake and honest demeanor.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
If a man's pickin on a banjo best you believe I get to stompin
these old feet!
Good mess a pinto beans and greens ain't never done a man harm.
The six things I could never do without
The guidance of Johny Cash
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How i'm a gonna get that damn lawnmower outta that ditch. Hell its
wedged in tight as a damn new pair a shoes on a rainy day. Fuck, I
tried cuttin it sharp and opening her up wide but that didn't do no
good. Thinkin bout asking them Miller boys to come down and help.
Thems two big ol strong boys....
On a typical Friday night I am
Cussin at that damn racoon that's in the trash out there again. Get
up Blue, damn old lazy hound! Shit! You're supposed to be out there
barkin at them critters not in here layin on the damn rug like a
sack a rice. Get your ass out there! I can hear him!
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
One time my pa was soldering a tin wire up into a circuit inside a
outlet down at the barn. He asked for some 60/40 lead rosin solder
and I handed him the 50/50. The fellas aint never gonna let me live
that one down. God, do them boys rag on me!
You should message me if
You ain't kin to me. Been there done that! Hell, it was worth it
though. Damn family reunion had to go an ruin a beautiful
On a serious note....
-If you want to cruise at the beach and listen to 90's rock.
-If you want to go chill at a book store and drink over-priced
-If you want to drink tequila and discuss sci-fi/horror
-If you use or enjoy the use of rap lyrics in conversation.