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53 Crystal Lake, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32-54
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 8:48pm
5' 9" (1.75m)
Body Type
Average build
High school
Has kid(s)
Has cats
English (Somewhat), English (Somewhat), English (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m an empty ése... fill me out! Greetings; lets do some honesty. Whether you got sucked in by match percentages, my incredibly average profile pic or you want an enemy to start a war with is irrelevant because you're here, nice to almost meet you.

Hope you enjoy the show and be sure to partake of the snack bar in the lobby at intermission. First off, I am not looking for serious at this point. That being said, it really doesn't matter what I tell you here because more than likely, you're already thinking; "I know what he wants."; and well, you may be right. Isn't that what we all want at some point? For now though I simply want to spend time with someone and have some fun. Walks, talks, games or whatever we decide. I'm sure I will enjoy the time with you more than the activity itself.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Life stuff. You know. Working. Dealing with bodily functions and the occasional brain freeze. Being three dimensional.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Dis, dat, and the other ting...
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Irreverence or maybe my perpetually erect three foot penis?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Yes, I read but not to impress.

Movies: Lets all go to the lobby and grab ourselves a snack...

Shows: These are the voyages of the star ship Navel Fuzz.

Music: Yes, In This Moment

Food: It's not still moving is it?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sex, intimate moments, transportation, clothing, alarm clock, money, music, trusty towel. Yep, six! This is my reality, not yours.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Touching your Golden Wonka Ticket. What? You have something better for me to think about?

Why so many women, who state that their sex drives are higher than average say they won't have sex on the first date or want to wait 3 to 5 dates or more. (Social programming rears it's ugly head.) Guess they must not be listening to their sex drives or are simply using it (the wait) as a piss poor filter mechanism.

"Y'all got issues?" Sorry, I don't have issues. I like me. Guess I'm done thinking about that. Oh yeah, I'm not your enemy until you crap on my life somehow regardless of what percentage cupid wants to give that ignorant term.

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” ~ Emil Ludwig
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Beat up, worn out and going to sleep so I can work Saturday
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove a thing!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you would like to:
Engage Wally World greeters in a foam sword fight,
Finger a warm peach pie or
Pickle a bowling ball.