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53 Crystal Lake, IL Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 32–54
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 6:56pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body type
Trying to quit
Graduated from high school
Rather not say
Has a kid
Has cats
English (Okay)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I’m an empty ése... fill me out! Greetings; lets do some honesty. Whether you got sucked in by match percentages, my incredibly average profile pic or you want an enemy to start a war with is irrelevant because you're here, nice to almost meet you.

Hope you enjoy the show and be sure to partake of the snack bar in the lobby at intermission. First off, I am not looking for serious at this point. That being said, it really doesn't matter what I tell you here because more than likely, you're already thinking; "I know what he wants."; and well, you may be right. Isn't that what we all want at some point? For now though I simply want to spend time with someone and have some fun. Walks, talks, games or whatever we decide. I'm sure I will enjoy the time with you more than the activity itself.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Life stuff. You know. Working. Dealing with bodily functions and the occasional brain freeze. Deciding what I should go back to school for. Trying to sell random junk to pay for my divorce. Being three dimensional.

Apparently I finished my profile. Stupid Cupid has stopped telling me to finish it so maybe I can do something more useful now. Thank you to those I may have annoyed in the process.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Running away screaming and laughing from people looking for their "soulmate" or "the one". It's nothing personal, just not where I'm at right now.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
How the hell do I know? I don't ask and I don't care.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: 1984, Fahrenheit 451,

Movies: Cloud Atlas, The Hudsucker Proxy, Time Bandits, Reanimator, From Beyond, Dark City, Smile, Mystery Men, Army of Darkness, The Wall, Bambi, The Color Purple, Pleasantville and most anything disturbing on some level.

Shows: Gilligan's Island, The Beverly Hillbillies, Star Trek,
Dr. Who

Music: Yes, Tool, Offspring, Queen, The Who, UFO, The Kings, Klaatu, Berlin, INXS, Rick Wakeman, Sick Puppies, In This Moment

Food: It's not still moving is it?
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Sex, transportation, clothing, alarm clock, money, music, trusty towel. Yep, six! This is my reality, not yours. =P
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Getting you to let me touch your Golden Wonka Ticket. Wait!, there were only five and you didn't get one. So, why the attitude princess?

So many women state that their sex drives are higher than average yet they won't have sex on the first date or want to wait 3 to 5 dates or more; must not be listening to their sex drives...

Why women don't search their own pictures on Google to make sure they're not linked to any other site before posting them here.

How come "separated" is not an option for your status?
Is this a conspiracy cupid or a simple disservice to those who are actually separated.

"Y'all got issues?" Sorry, I don't have issues. I like me. Guess I'm done thinking about that. Oh yeah, I'm not your enemy until you crap on my life somehow regardless of what percentage cupid wants to give that ignorant term.

What else I can write here and still be taken semi-seriously. You're really not taking me too seriously are you, silly woman?

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. It changes the relationship of two people much more strongly than even the final surrender; because this kiss already has within it that surrender.” ~ Emil Ludwig
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Relaxing, I work a split shift and don't get home until mid evening or later so I am relaxing. Unless you have a better idea. ;)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I didn't do it. Nobody saw me. You can't prove a thing!
At least until we create our own private thing. ;)
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you would like to:
Engage Wally World greeters in a foam sword fight,
Finger a warm peach pie or
Pickle a bowling ball.