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27 Irvine, CA Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18-35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:22pm
6' 3" (1.91m)
Body Type
Buddhism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids
English, Danish
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm just on here looking for a girl who thinks I'm prettiest when I've just woke up in the morning with no make-up on, and someone who knows the difference between jelly and jam. I'm not afraid of wolves, although if I ever came face-to-face with a pack of wolves, I would probably be scared. I like lasagna and a few David Lynch movies.

I'm the second coming of Christ. I am an accomplished sculptor, painter, artist, actor and my laugh has the ability to cure cancer. Sadly my laugh cannot pulverize kidney stones, you're outta luck, pal.

Most nights you can find me alone, rutting away into an uncovered mattress. If you caught me at it, it might feel like spying on a randy bull spending itself against a tarpaulin-covered woodshed. You might be strangely turned on by it.

If you're into it, hit me up, we can do Snapchat like all the kids are doing these days, but be forewarned, snapping with me is like the equivalent of a seizure inducing Pokemon episode after smoking crystal meth at a Skrillex concert.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Blood for the blood god.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Driving semi-trucks through fast food restaurants, going through fast food restaurants in reverse, impersonating grief counselors and ballroom dancing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My classically handsome bone structure.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Melancholy of Resistance, La Strada, Mad Men, Prayers, Fishsticks.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. All the simoleans I have in the bank.
2. My ability to control the weather.
3. Balvenie.
4. Lars von Trier.
6. The Deep Web
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Dong jokes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Burning bridges.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
All roses have their thorns, and nothing I changed or added made it any better.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you want to drink beer and watch the sunset in H1Z1.