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25 M Sacramento, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 18–35
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Today – 3:50am
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Buddhism, but not too serious about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English, Danish

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm just on here looking for a girl who thinks I'm prettiest when I've just woke up in the morning with no make-up on, and someone who knows the difference between jelly and jam. I'm not afraid of wolves, although if I ever came face-to-face with a pack of wolves, I would probably be scared. I like lasagna and a few David Lynch movies. I also have a secret fantasy about a certain Lars Von Trier movie. No, Jesus, not that one.

I bring both the noise and the funk. Like this one time, I was on a job interview that wasn't going well. At the very end, when the guy was like, "Well, Paul, do you have any questions for me?" I just threatened to kill myself in an even, creepy monotone.

And now I'm the longest-serving fryboy at the Wendy's on 32nd Street.

Most nights you can find me alone, rutting away into an uncovered mattress. If you caught me at it, it might feel like spying on a randy bull spending itself against a tarpaulin-covered woodshed. You might be strangely turned on by it.

If you're into it, hit me up, we can do Snapchat like all the kids are doing these days, but be forewarned, snapping with me is like the equivalent of a seizure inducing Pokemon episode after smoking crystal meth at a Skrillex concert.

Brilliant. Flashing. Loins.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Playing League of Legends. Bronze V pro here btw.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Driving semi-trucks through fast food restaurants, going through fast food restaurants in reverse, impersonating grief counselors and ballroom dancing.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My classically handsome bone structure.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Once I read Thus Spoke Zarathustra, while watching 2001, with Twin Peaks going on in the background, accompanied by the Court of the Crimson King album and eating fishsticks. It was the single most profound event of my life. My knees buckled at the sheer significance. When I came to, I had changed. The world had changed.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. All the simoleans I have in the bank.
2. My ability to control the weather.
3. Balvenie.
4. Lars von Trier.
6. The Deep Web
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Dong jokes.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Drinking and burning bridges.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
All roses have their thorns, and nothing I changed or added made it any better.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to drink some craft beer and watch the sunset in Minecraft.