35 Old Orchard Beach, ME
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
Join today
Find great matches with our advanced matching system!
My self-summary
I'm a gay/queer guy in a long term poly relationship. I live with my husband and my boyfriend. I'm looking for a FWB (with the "friend" being as important as the benefits), play partners, or ideally a meaningful emotional/romantic relationship with another partner.

Speaking of partners, mine, including the ones I don't live with, know I'm on here of course, and I'm not open to DL relationships. I've learned the hard way that dating guys who are in the closet doesn't do good things for my mental or emotional health, so please be out.

Physically I try to keep in good shape between biking and hitting the gym. I have a number of tattoos and piercings, but I won't scare mom if you bring me home to meet her.

I spend a lot of time with a camera in my hands, and I also enjoy reading, biking, hiking in the woods, and visiting museums or other interesting places.

It's worth mentioning that in my erotic life I am quite kinky, although I'm open to and enjoy non-kinky activities and relationships too. That said, if you think being kinky or poly is "wrong" or want someone to "save" I am really not your guy (learned that the hard way too).

If you have a Fetlife account and want to know more about me from that perspective, my profile is:
What I’m doing with my life
I'm a kink, spirituality, and LGBT issues educator, and up until a year ago, I was the assistant producer for a BDSM events company. I also do sales and marketing consulting work in and out of that industry.

The last few years I've been doing quite a good bit of photography, which I'm hoping to transition over time into something that brings in some extra money someday. You can see my mainstream photography at my website:

I'm was also an associate editor, and regular contributor to the LGBT politics and culture blog "The Bilerico Project."

My spiritual life is deeply important to me. I am a polytheistic pagan and involved in the pagan community as a religious leader and as an educator. That said, my spirituality is my own, and I don't expect everyone I'm involved with to share it. But like with the kink, I'm not interested in folks trying to "save" me or convert me to their faith or lack thereof.
I’m really good at
Public speaking. I may be happiest when speaking in front of a group about something I care about. I've done everything from recreational and academic conferences, to internet video, storytelling shows/podcasts, and have even been in two TV documentaries.
The first things people usually notice about me
I have a fondness for fabulous and unusual glasses.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
It's hard to have a favorite book, I'm a big reader. Sci-fi and fantasy books remain a love of mine, but I also have a good collection of historical and military non-fiction, and a terrible weakness for M/M romance novels.

Fiction Authors: Tanya Huff, Ilona Andrews, Jack McDevitt, Lynn Flewelling, Anne Bishop, David Weber, Heidi Cullinan, Amy Lane, Damon Suede, Kristine Kathryn Rusch, John Scalzi, and Andy Weir gets a mention simply because I loved The Martian *so hard*.

I listen to podcasts quite regularly as well. My favorite podcasts include The Risk! Podcast, Planet Money, 99% Invisible, The Allusionist, Snap Judgement, Radiolab, This American Life, Ask Me Another, and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me.

I'm a fan of movies and TV too, although I can't really go to movie theaters. Last Week Tonight and @Midnight are two shows I watch most consistently right now. I've also seen every episode of Air Crash Investigations (many times) because I'm a giant dork. And other than that, I watch tons of documentaries, anime, and the occasional action or comedy flick.
The six things I could never do without
-My glasses, I'm blind as a bat without them
-My spiritual life and faith
-My partners, lovers, and family (of choice & birth)
-Modern medicine
-Some way to express myself creatively, be it a way to write, take pictures, or an audience to tell stories to
I spend a lot of time thinking about
All manner of things, from politics to spirituality, science and invention to science fiction, deep thoughts to bad puns.

And of course sex, from both a personal and professional perspective.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either on the road presenting, editing photos, reading, watching TV or a movie online, or participating in an online discussion group.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Ok, it's not really private, in that I don't try to keep it a secret, but I have Tourette Syndrome. I don't have coprolalia (the "swearing" tics), but I do have some pretty noticeable symptoms.
You should message me if
- My profile was interesting to you
- You are experienced with/open to polyamorous relationships
- Talking about sex doesn't bother you. Given what I do for work...
- You aren't transphobic! While I am cis-gender, many of my closest friends and some of my partners are trans*. Transphobia is a deal breaker for me.
- You know what an "intactivist" is, are one yourself, or are curious.
- You can be civil to someone with a non-traditional faith
- If the idea of going shooting (photos or guns), having sex (of some form), and watching Top Gear over a dinner of Thai food sounds like an awesome day to you.