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Witty-Atl

33 M Denver, CO

My Details

Last Online
Today – 1:25pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Never
Religion
Christianity, but not too serious about it
Sign
Sagittarius, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Other
Income
$100,000–$150,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Pets
Has dogs
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
Update: I am moving to Denver in mid-August. Any advice on neighborhoods to check out, where to get a good cup of coffee, or dog parks...drop me a line.

Rather than be cliche here are some random thoughts that I believe may provide some insight into myself. It's either that or avoid being cliche by listing myself as humorless, apathetic, lethargic, dangerously unhealthy, and very high strung.

- Every other wild animal retreats at the presence of humans, except geese. They will cross a road in the middle of rush hour traffic, and if you come across one in a park they will chase you away....unless you bribe them with bread. Geese are kind of the assholes of the animal kingdom.

- Why is some soap antibacterial and others aren’t? Isn’t the point of soap to be antibacterial? Why would I buy non-antibacterial soap? Regular soap really needs to up it’s game. Bush league regular soap, bush league.

- If I was given a time machine I think my only choice would be to use it stop tragedies and such Quantum Leap style, but not for personal gain mainly because I don't understand how things work. How exactly does electricity or the internal combustion engine work? I could go back in time, but I still wouldn't be able to invent the car or start Google. I'd just be sitting around in the past waiting for Ben Franklin to fly a kite and some guy to invent the Internet. I should have paid more attention in science class.

- If dogs ever evolved to speak human languages and entered into society how long do you think it would take them to understand that their poo isn't currency? It must be confusing for them....we stand behind them collecting it at every opportunity. They must think we covet it.

- I possess superior door etiquette. However, superior door etiquette has its drawback. While I open the car door for a woman, I'll also hold the door open for people leaving a building at the same time as me even if they are a few seconds from the door. I suspect at times the someone scurrying towards door thinks to him/herself "this guy's pushing the superior door etiquette too far, I think I just twisted my ankle scurrying towards the door...and why did I just describe my pace as a scurry?"

- I’ve never worn Ed Hardy (I’m proud of that fact so I had to find a way to work it in).

- When did mattress stores become the new Starbucks? There seems to be one on every corner nowadays.
What I’m doing with my life
Medical Malpractice Insurance broker. I was English major in college, so like most English majors I have a bookshelf that demonstrates that I went to college, and my job is not in "English". However, I can discuss Auden, Shakespeare, and pretend to appreciate Ezra Pound as I believe is the case with most English majors. Oh, and I'm also keeping it real 24/7....I think people still say keeping it real. Ok, I'm keeping it real 23/7 and the other hour I spend trying to learn new slang.
I’m really good at
Chili. I've won multiple office chili cook offs. It may not be the sexiest skill set, but it might just be the heartiest.
The first things people usually notice about me
I would say my rapier wit and boyish charm, and clearly my humility. I've seen many woman list answers to this question and then say "but it's probably just my boobs". I don't think the same holds true for what women notice about me, but just in case I'll also say it's probably my tatas. Honestly, I think of myself as unpretentious and genuine so after my tatas, I hope that's what people notice....and then my booty because its way better than my tatas.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My tastes run the gamut from dumb comedies to foreign films. I love to watch the Sunday morning news of the week shows, followed by football.

Movies: Noir and black comedies like Rushmore, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, The Seventh Seal, Blow Up and The Killers are among my favorites. I also like to see how Netflix determines recommendations for a guy that watches a 1960s Italian film followed by Role Models. I hope one day it just says "I have no clue".

In terms of music, a wide range of tastes; Dylan, Tom Waits, The Jayhawks, Okervil River, Elliott Smith, Sam Cooke, Velvet Underground. I'm a big fan of old soul music.

I've been on a Dennis Lehane kick recently. Before that I was reading The Unwinding. Gone Baby Gone was a really great mystery/detective story and The Unwinding is an extremely interesting look at the current state of America. Some of my favorite writers are Fitzgerald, Faulkner, Philip Roth, and Raymond Carver.

Food: I'll try anything at least once. Shellfish is one of my favorite menu items, I wish I could thank whoever first decided that eating an oyster looked appetizing. Whenever I travel, eating new cuisine is one of my favorite parts of the trip. I can say with confidence that if I lived in certain cities I would obese within a month. New Orleans - I would end up one of those guys on Springer that needs a crane to get him taken out of the house.
The six things I could never do without
Coffee would be needed, without it I couldn't figure out the other 5 things.
Travel
Family
Exercise
My dog
And obviously cream for my coffee
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why a mustache doesn't have a middle ground. Either it looks good and you're Tom Selleck, or it looks creepy and you're the guy that looks like he drives a white van with no windows who makes hair dolls.
On a typical Friday night I am
Doing typical things.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I grew up with two sisters who regularly took the remote from me. Therefore, I unfortunately can quote Steel Magnolias. "Drink your juice Shelby". It haunts my dreams. Sidenote, after writing this I immediately did something manly.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–38
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
I enjoy people who can discuss deeper topics, and just as easily feel comfortable being goofy. If that's you we'll get along. Also, if you want to be a tour guide around Denver.