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33 M College Park, MD

My Details

Last Online
Today – 6:02pm
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Mostly vegetarian
Atheism, and somewhat serious about it
Graduated from university
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Strictly monogamous
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Seeks thoughtful conversation, companionable co-art-pondering, intellectual play.

Contemporary ornithologists
compete to chat with offbeat modern birds.
For each some complex countercall exists.
They survey with binoculars and words.

I am polite and have good table manners.
What I’m doing with my life
Ever since they drained the wetlands, living it without egrets.

Assisting research at American University while I cast about for the next step. In the meantime, teaching myself Python and brushing up on mathematics to make austerely psychedelic computer art.

Writing poetry. (Lowell seeks Bishop.)

Taking long walks on suburban bike paths.

Mulling over philosophy podcasts.

Petting a chatty little neighborhood cat I made friends with. (I've named her Hazelnut. I think she's a she.)
I’m really good at
Film — breath control, reflective orb-casting. We lean forward clutching small, bold-colored canisters from the dollar store.

Anti-Intellectualism in American Life for Dummies

"The little ants (known as minims) tend the gardens, and they can also be found riding atop the leaves being brought home by the big ants."
The first things people usually notice about me
I used to have just the worst W.V.O. Quine joke here. I thought it was hilarious, but it didn't do me any favors.

Anyway, here are some nice things people have said about me:

"You have such an easygoing, disarming way of carrying yourself. You are a great conversationalist!"

"It's refreshing to meet someone unabashedly honest, kind and genuine."

"You're one of the few people I've met who can talk about art in an engaging, passionate, yet not pretentious way. That's an art in and of itself."

"It was really great to meet you! I had a lot of fun and I think you definitely proved your right to the title Banter Baron!"

(Actual testimonials!)

Marianne Moore, "To a Snail"

If "compression is the first grace of style,"
you have it. Contractility is a virtue
as modesty is a virtue.
It is not the acquisition of any one thing
that is able to adorn,
or the incidental quality that occurs
as a concomitant of something well said,
that we value in style,
but the principle that is hid:
in the absence of feet, "a method of conclusions";
"a knowledge of principles,"
in the curious phenomenon of your occipital horn.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite music:
Bands that sound like Wire, Spoon, or ELO.
Bands that sound like Ren Faire buskers.
Bands that sound like Ren Faire buskers with Moogs.
Bands that sound like the half-remembered harmonies of industrial air exchangers.
Bands that sound like background music to '90s PBS specials about the wonders of the World Wide Web.
New Zealand rock.
Weird time signatures.

"We could slip away. Wouldn't that be better?"

In my dreams you have the voice of Billy Corgan.

POP QUIZ! I'm part of a club whose members also include Ringo Starr, Moby, and Aphex Twin. Can you figure out what it is?

Trying to learn more about classical music. Are you able to recommend? Wanna be consistently cultured, like yogurt.

Books that changed my life:
The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat by Oliver Sacks (human conditions)
Backlash by Susan Faludi (feminism)
Infinity and the Mind by Rudy Rucker (mathematics)
Think by Simon Blackburn (philosophy)
Justice by Michael Sandel (ethics & politics)
The Word on the Street by John McWhorter (linguistics)
Misquoting Jesus by Bart Ehrman (Biblical history)
Blue Latitudes by Tony Horwitz (history and the present)
A Canticle for Leibowitz by Walter M Miller (post-apocalyptic fiction)

Books I cried at the end of:
Lord of the Flies
The Martian Chronicles
A Wizard of Earthsea

(At least one of these was on a plane.)

Recently read:
Going Clear by Lawrence Wright (about Scientology; wow this book was unnerving.)
Lexicon by Max Barry (thriller with NLP wizards)

Currently reading:
Newjack by Ted Conover

Best book read in the last few years:
James Gleick's The Information, a thrilling and lucid history of information theory.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch
Helvetica 2: The New Batch
Koyaanisqatsi 2: The New Batch

Don't own a TV. Stalk down the sidewalk during prime-time hours wearing a beret and sneering at all the sheeple hypnotized before their totemic screens. What a bunch of saps. (In reality, I watch The Amazing Race and old Arrested Development episodes with friends sometimes. Steven Johnson's Everything Bad Is Good for You argues convincingly that market forces have made it a golden age for complex, rewarding TV. I think a serial journey together could be meaningful and sweet, I'm just out of the habit and broadcast-unequipped myself.)

Sardonic bread, acerbic bread, taciturn bread, rye.
Baby step cookbooks. Stochastic restaurant selection.
The six things I could never do without
• notepad
• iPod
• the Tethys ocean in our blood
The Dream Songs by John Berryman
• I summoned my army of robot vacuum cleaners
• I anagrammed your DNA
• solitary time

"The Necessary Characters of the Men of the Remote Future Deduced from the Existing Stream of Tendency"

Ouroboros from Oconomowoc.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Necker cubes and nectar tubes.

Could a Patagonian toothfish and a Chilean sea bass ever fall in love? (Help me write this screenplay.)

Human predilections, lenses to objective understanding of the universe, implications of a mathematically explicable cosmos, plays on words, linguistic slippage, mixtapes, Maru.

Pageantry parity.

Languages in which I am disfluent but to whose charms I am not immune.

The finer points of the concert t-shirt rule. Sorry I was so rude to you, Best Buy workers, I was in the wrong there.

Wwe, my dystopian wrestling novel.

Problems with Helvetica.

"the shade/ Of a cloud on sand, a shape on the side of a hill."

Where is Hazelnut?
On a typical Friday night I am
Pluck those ancient broadcasts from the atmosphere.

Board games and television with college friends. WATCH HARD AND PLAY HARD. (Not true, I play for maximum gab.)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Walker in a runner's world, brain in a jar, Wallace Stevens admirer in a land that lionizes its Hemingways.

Underinvested in the snark economy.

I was so sad about what happened to that Gordon Ramsay sex dwarf.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 27–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
LIVING IT oops I mean message me if you'd like to trade words at all. If you think we could make sense — or nonsense — together, or explore the intricate boundary thereof, I'd love to hear from you.

"Bike Date"

There are some spokes awaiting spins in tandem,
directions to be pedaled down at random,
more landmarks not unlike that window ledge
where, paused below, we witnessed birds allege
some principle in twittering memorandum:
to take the air face-first from every edge
till you fall into harmony or hedge.

Here's a topic of conversation I like to pose to thoughtful people: if you could have the answer to any one question, whether it be delivered by a years-long well-funded research program, a Twilight Zone-style unexpected oracle, tree-shaded contemplation, or whatever machinery of revelation you prefer, what would you ask? What do you most want to know?

(I have a probably unanswerable question I've pondered for years, but I'd like to hear yours first.)

Anyway, message me if you think pondering things for years is cool and not lame.